The Top

He accidently pushed me, its not like he ment to do it. I hugged him, my leg was caught behind the arm rest on my chair, And I fell onto the arm rest, & hit my head on the wall, HARD. He grabbed my head saying sorry, then pushed me onto the couch & "fake raped" me cause all my friends were laughing. I think he was just trying to make the situation better, it didn't though. At all. I haven't talked to him since. :/

By mimo - 14/11/2008 04:16 - France

Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly, "You're ugly." My friend told him off, causing him to cry, and shout, "But she isn't pretty!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 484

You deserved it 5 002

Family

By megamonster99 - 07/11/2016 15:06 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, I helped my hoarder grandfather clean out his garage. Not only did I step on a nail, I also slipped in a puddle of used oil that's been sitting out for two years, and broke my nose. He didn't pay me since I wasn't able to finish the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 314

You deserved it 1 011

By still broke and jobless - 17/09/2015 20:24 - United States

Today, I saw a missed call on my phone. Thinking it was one of the multiple jobs I applied for, I called back. Turns out it was just a debt collector. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 871

You deserved it 2 564

By Redhairchick - 06/11/2016 07:08

Today, I got severe diarrhea while out dancing with friends. On my way home, I got hit with the urge again. I couldn't find an open toilet and I had to resort to relieving myself in an alley. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 063

You deserved it 932

By Master Debater - 01/02/2013 11:05 - Australia

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 056

You deserved it 40 146

Comedian

By WoofWoof - 27/09/2020 14:01 - Pakistan - Islamabad

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that getting on all fours and barking at my penis for fun in the center of a mall is extremely inappropriate. She thinks otherwise, and promises to do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 411

You deserved it 418

By Anonymous - 05/07/2009 23:20 - Canada

Today, I had to be go to the ER after I fell on a rake. After having stiches put in, my Mom wanted me to go to the store with her. My friend saw me at the store and thought it would be funny to rip off the band aid because she thought I was hiding a zit. She ripped out my stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 619

You deserved it 3 038

By Blue_Heart - 05/09/2015 18:47 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I decided to bike to work. I normally forget the key to my lock, so I leave it out back and hope that nobody takes it, and nobody does. I finally remembered my lock key so I chained it up. After my 7 hour shift, I walk to the back only to find the lock had been cut, and my bike was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 884

You deserved it 1 969

By ACCCHHHOOOO!!!!!!!!! -_- - 04/09/2015 15:48 - United States - Laurel

Today, my dick of a neighbor tried to file a noise complaint against me, all because I have the flu and am sneezing a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 385

You deserved it 1 624

By Anonymous - 16/01/2014 17:57 - United States - Springfield

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 124

You deserved it 13 074

By Anonymous - 06/01/2012 22:49 - United States

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 252

You deserved it 5 375

Date night

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my fiancé and I planned a romantic movie night. Champagne, popcorn, romantic comedy. Then his friend decided to show up and they've been talking about first generation Pokémon ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 319

You deserved it 5 936

CONFESS!

By daughter of a gullible cunt - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, as per usual, my mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret". Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 305

You deserved it 2 761

By That Girl with the Amazon Parrot - 04/01/2014 07:21 - United States

Today, I was called by the counselor to discuss my "issues". She told me that other students had reported to her that they saw scars on my arms. I don't cut, I just have a hormonal and aggressive parrot who sees me as his personal tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 291

You deserved it 4 251

By ljennette25 - 23/09/2016 04:51 - United States - Princeton

Today, I started a new job as a school bus driver. I was sent on the hardest route in the area, and not 5 minutes in I came across a broke down truck in the middle of the road. I was stuck behind him for over an hour with a bus full of elementary school kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 292

You deserved it 891

By thejanamonster - 30/12/2013 19:48 - United States - Geneva

Today, my boyfriend found an old nude of me on his best friend's PS3. I had no idea this guy existed until we moved in with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 069

You deserved it 10 092

thejanamonster tells us more.

thejanamonster 8

Wednesday 1 January 2014 1:37

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now. The nude was taken and sent to an ex that I thought I could trust before I had even met my boyfriend. The "friend" got it from a friend of his that supplies nudes of girls from the city I moved from. The reason I had no idea who the guy was is because he moved to a different state before I met my boyfriend, but they've been friends for a really long time. My boyfriend took it relatively well and things are perfectly fine between us. Hope this clears up some questions I've seen.