By Mick - 20/02/2009 08:29 - United States
The Top
By awkward wedding - 18/10/2018 22:00
Hard no, thanks
By 3rd wheel, 2nd dick - 26/07/2018 06:00
Some people are just lazy
By Anonymous - 22/06/2017 00:00
By Charli - 13/08/2018 22:37
By GuitarChick42 - 04/04/2009 18:15 - United States
By Robert - 06/04/2018 05:00 - United States - North Pole
By killmenow - 03/12/2015 05:33 - Canada - Halifax
By Anonymous - 25/08/2016 03:50 - United States - Fishers
By tvaladie - 17/04/2009 00:19 - United States
By milksquad - 28/07/2017 10:37
milksquad tells us more.
Great prank, thanks
By Eashy - 24/05/2017 14:15
Eashy tells us more.
Haha this actually got posted! Hey guys I'm the OP and just want to fill in some extra information. So I woke up 20 minutes later then I wanted to, so I just rushed to get ready and get my carry-on items together, as my luggage was packed. I had no idea my roommate used or had drugs in our shared apartment, so I graciacly accepted the pillow for my flight. After going through Security, I was stopped and arrested for drug possession, but ended up getting out later from a drug bust in my apartment, where they caught my room mate growing weed in his small closet. Again, I've never smelled or seen him smoking, so I had no idea he was a user. He also confessed that he was the one who put the drugs in my neck pillow, and they did believe him, arresting him aswell. No, I did not get any major marks on my record, but I'm still going to court for a follow up for the police to be sure im completely innocent. As for the moment, I've been asked to stay at home so that the cops can easily find me if needed, so I guess I'll have to survive of anything in my house for about a week. Again, thanks for publishing this. Ill be happy to awnser any questions you guys have :)
By Anonymous - 25/02/2018 13:00 - United States - New Hyde Park
By Oh God - 24/05/2018 06:00
By why mom - 02/08/2016 23:52
By JustMarried - 07/05/2016 21:47 - Ukraine
Straight to jail
By WTF Mom - 21/05/2018 01:30
By Anonymous - 27/12/2018 04:00
By Anonymous - 22/06/2016 02:45 - United States - Chillicothe
By jokersgirl - 21/05/2019 04:00
By vetstudentdream - 15/04/2017 22:00 - Australia - Bellbowrie
By milksquad - 04/07/2017 08:41 - United States
milksquad tells us more.
OP here! Dunno if I'll count as "verified" because I submitted the FML without signing up for an account. But it's all good! I'm actually glad that my bank is so thorough as I've had my debit card stolen before. This time around I was using Venmo which apparently isn't a certified merchant, or something? So they just had me confirm my personal details and it went through. Mainly FML because I was stressed that I was paying rent last minute (my own fault). All in all, everything went swimmingly, and I have added faith in my bank's ability to protect my money!
Stoner Logic
By Anonymous - 07/08/2017 00:30
By friendless1004 - 12/11/2015 16:55 - United States - Santa Barbara
By tr3yr - 27/02/2018 17:06
tr3yr tells us more.
While I must say I thought that was a good idea... I did just that. Her response, “She did not care as long as he does not bring anything home to her.” I also found out that she filed for a divorce though but she said it was to “just teach him a lesson because he did not tell her.” When I confronted him he just kept lying and saying how he wanted to be with me but couldn’t think of being without his wife. So I just left it alone and cut off communication. It was starting to just be weird and I felt they had major issues to figure out with each-other. Needless to say I had her transferred to a different location.
Classic scam
By Anonymous - 01/07/2017 06:00 - United States - New Hyde Park
By ShameMonkey - 27/09/2016 10:15 - Australia - Glen Waverley
By mind your own business - 05/10/2017 06:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds
By Noname - 16/03/2009 04:05 - United States
By faily_tales - 11/07/2016 00:37 - United States
faily_tales tells us more.
OP here. If you really wanna know, he soaked them so they were slippery and put them in one at a time. He's got an inflation fetish and is really into butt stuff. The only reason he tells me all this stuff is because I'm one of the only people in his life that he can be totally TMI with. I'm trying to gently push him into talking about it more with his girlfriend, who's into some of the same things, and less with me. I have a strong stomach but I'm just sick of only ever talking about butt stuff! ?
Keywords
OP here! This is my second FML to get published this week, either I'm on a roll or my life is just really shitty lol. I was pretty bitter when I posted this but in hindsight, yeah, it was a pretty stupid decision. Looks (and a cute accent) aren't everything I suppose! I guess I was more surprised that he left so abruptly. Like, he came and then put on his clothes and walked out with barely a goodbye. I've had meaningless Tinder hookups in the past and they were always at least nice about it. I guess those were just flukes. Definitely learned my lesson!