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Bad karma

By Anonymous - 06/12/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I am so sick and tired of watching my brother get everything he wants in life from being a bastard. He does everything I would consider bad and it’s made him rich and successful. I try and be a good person and all it got me is fired, and in danger of losing my car and house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 130

Practice makes perfect

By Anonymous - 08/12/2024 03:00 - United Kingdom - Sunderland

Today, I had to come to terms with the truth that I'm absolutely terrible at parallel parking. After three failed attempts, I finally gave up and parked in a spot labeled "No Parking" just to make it stop. Of course, a car pulled in right behind me and blocked me in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 493

Brainrot strikes again

By Anonymous - 11/12/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I dyed my hair blue because I’m cosplaying as Jinx from Arcane. My parents made me practically homeless because they associate hair dye with "wokeness" and they’re not having that shit in their house. I'm now staying with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 89

Lucky or what?

By Anonymous - 15/11/2024 12:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I put on what I thought was my "lucky" sweater for a job interview. Halfway there, I noticed my reflection in a car window and realized it was covered in cat hairs of various colors and a faded spaghetti stain from last week that apparently hadn't come out in the wash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 502

Still mad about Toys R Us

By Frank - 19/11/2024 00:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, yet again I had to lie to a date about what I do for a living, because every time I tell someone the truth, that I work in private equity, they have some choice words about "people like me ruining things" and "ruining the housing prices." I feel like an evil James Bond or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 586

Happy dance!

By Got the job anyway, so whatevs - 22/11/2024 06:00 - United States - New York

Today, after five years of working a soul-sucking dead end job, I was offered an amazing role in a new field. When the HR rep told me, I was so excited that I screamed at the top of my lungs, cheered like a maniac, and started laughing so hard I cried.I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm off my meds now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 483

Sensitive

By Anonymous - 26/11/2024 00:00 - United States - Santa Fe

Today, I sneezed so hard in a café that I scared a toddler, who screamed, causing another patron to drop their coffee. It was a chain reaction of chaos, all thanks to my nose's sensitivity to the smell of knock-off perfume wafting from a dude at the table next to ours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 114

Move!

By Kevin - 29/11/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I got stuck in traffic and angrily honked at the car in front of me. Then I realized it was a hearse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 608

It's a no from me, dawg

By Anonymous - 02/12/2024 15:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, the guy I’ve been seeing for a couple of months and started falling for told me his ex-girlfriend is pregnant with his child. I’m so bummed because kids and baby mamas are my number one deal-breaker. I really liked him too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 168

Suspected

By Anonymous - 09/12/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I was been accused of stealing lunches from the fridge at work. I’m a huge germaphobe and would NEVER eat someone else’s food, but because I’m the fattest one in the office, everyone automatically blamed me. Hashtag fatgirlproblems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 129

Anglican you keep it down?

By Anonymous - 11/12/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother and wife are arguing over raising our baby Catholic or Church of England. They’re mad at each other and as a bonus they’re both mad at me because I’m non-religious and genuinely don’t care which made-up religion they try to raise her in, I’m just enjoying being a dad over here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 68

Mommy's bravest boy

By Anonymous - 13/11/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, my ex broke up with me because his mom didn't like me. He was visiting me across the country at the time, and still had a few days left. He had the audacity to still ask to sleep with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 70

Backhanded

By Anonymous - 15/11/2024 16:00 - South Africa

Today, I miss someone I shouldn’t. Someone who made me feel like complete shit, but I hope they're happy wherever they are, and they take care of themselves. I hope they heal with their family. I hope they are good and things workout for them. That they realise how awful they were and finally change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 361

BBUK 2024

By Pete - 17/11/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I had managed to avoid any mention of who won Big Brother because I couldn't watch it live, and I had planned to watch it on replay tonight. All was going to plan until my arsehole brother sent me a text that simply said, "Spoiler alert: Ali won." FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 189

Sleep cycled out

By ninithel - 24/11/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, I'm doing the school run. I went to bed early and took a sleeping pill for my insomnia so I could be productive. Even if I could sleep past my partner snoring like a cave bear with sinus infection, it turns out that my sleeping pills make me hyper. The next person who says ADHD is fun is getting slapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 127

Use the force

By Anonymous - 29/11/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I walked into a glass door at the mall because I thought it was automatic. It wasn’t. The make up smudge from my face is now part of the door's Christmas decor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 386

Throwing a dinner

By Cathy - 01/12/2024 09:00 - United States - Burlington

Today, I hosted a family dinner. I made a roast, potatoes, green beans, and homemade bread. Everything went smoothly until I realized halfway through I'd used powdered sugar instead of flour. No one noticed at first, then my aunt asked in horror, “Why's it taste like cake?” The rest of the meal was eyed suspiciously and I almost fainted from the stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 301

Influenceritis

By Anonymous - 09/12/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I tried reaching out to a brand on Instagram, telling them I'm a rising influencer and would love a free sample of some of their products to review. They replied back with a laughing emoji and "You have 44 followers. Eat shit." Then they posted it on their story, with my name listed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 1 346

What more do you need?

By Anonymous - 24/11/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, we have elevators at my work, but you need to go to HR to get a key. I was denied one after I almost died in a car accident because I didn’t look “hurt enough.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 87

This going to be fun

By A…… - 01/12/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, my wife asked me what I wanted for my upcoming birthday. Mindful of our budget, I said I just wanted to relax at home all day and then get a nice dinner with her. She blew up and yelled that I'm "using my birthday to be a lazy slug." FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 66

Artificial tree meets natural predators

By Anonymous - 08/12/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I pulled my Christmas tree out of my mother-in-law's garage, only to find out rats had ruined all the lights. The tree cost $2600. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 485

Harsh words

By Anonymous - 11/12/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I told my mom that I think I’m anorexic and she told me she didn’t care. When I asked why, in disbelief she replied, "Honey, you are 5’3 and over 350 lbs, at this point you NEED to be anorexic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34

You deserved it 138

While the cat's away…

By R…… - 19/11/2024 03:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I knew my wife and kid wouldn't be home until later, and I was excited to play video games and relax. The second I turned my computer on, the power went out. It came back on as my wife was pulling into the driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 116

It's still a bop! It slaps!

By Please find a new song - 20/11/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I was once again woken up to my dad blasting The Beatles' song "Birthday." He does this whenever it's anyone's birthday (in this case, my mom's) and he knows a lot of people. It was funny at first, but now it's getting old very quickly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 86

Exhausted

By Anonymous - 22/11/2024 13:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I so obviously dozed off during a video call at work. Afterwards, my manager messaged me asking if I was OK. I was mortified, and now I'm "on his watch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 407

Never gonna give you up

By I’m not like other guys! - 24/11/2024 06:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my crazy ex has scared off yet another great woman. Thanks to all the douchebags that use “crazy ex” as an excuse to for their own shit behavior, no one believes me that mine is legitimately crazy. I didn’t cheat or mistreat her, I left because of her control and jealousy issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 101

Stuck in the middle

By Anonymous - 26/11/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I have COVID. My almost ex-wife is taking our kid to Thanksgiving with her family, but asked if he could stay longer with me (while I'm in quarantine), I said OK, no energy to argue, but she pushed and when I said, "If he's negative and has no symptoms it seems unnecessary" she screamed, "I DON'T WANT TO KILL MY PARENTS!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 386

First impressions

By Anonymous - 01/12/2024 15:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I joined a gym. I’m overweight and not very athletic, so I was nervous. I looked around and tried a treadmill. I start walking at a chill pace, then got ambitious and cranked it to a "light jog." Within seconds, I tripped, fell, and sent the emergency stop button flying across the room. The gym staff ran over and I swear someone said, “Well, at least he’s trying.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 112

Stranger danger

By Cali Montana - 03/12/2024 03:00 - United States - Marietta

Today, I helped a 6 year-old boy who was left alone at a store to get back home. The kid's parents were grateful, but my mother cussed me out and called me stupid for helping the kid. No good dead goes unpunished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 67

Super spreader

By Anonymous - 05/12/2024 15:00 - New Zealand - Lower Hutt

Today, my teenage son caught COVID and has passed it on to me. He's completely unaffected, and joking that he wants to catch it again, to get another week off school. I'm lying in bed, with a pounding headache, shivering so violently I'm shaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 92

Keywords

DIY Cats Miscellaneous Family Management Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Coworkers Relatable Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Anxiety Mental health Technology Health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I slept maybe fifteen hours. I'm supposed to be getting better but I'm not sure if I am and that scares the hell out of me. My room is a mess and I'm hungry. Maybe if i just get one sweet kiss, I'll be alright. I'm trying. I think? I don't know. Sometimes I just feel like there's something wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 437

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 596

You deserved it 9 210

The Top

Today, after fasting for 24 hours and drinking 2 buckets of laxatives, my doctor's office notified me that my colonoscopy had been cancelled. I'd just finished the prep by taking the fart pills, and now have the cleanest colon ever. A lot of time spent on the toilet that I’ll never get back though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 122

Today, I took my wife to a country concert for her birthday, even though I can't stand country. While she had the time of her life, I was punched twice, had a beer dropped on me, and had a rather large, drunk woman fall on me. Happy birthday, baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 753

You deserved it 1 330

Today, I was robbed while working overnight at the gas station. They demanded I give them all the cash in the register. Seeing they were armed, I was reduced to tears and complied. They mocked me and took a video with their cellphone. When I told my boss, he promptly fired me for not “fighting back.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 362

You deserved it 83

Today, my boyfriend invited me over for dinner for the first time. The place was full of his ex's stuff, books on the shelves, makeup in the bathroom, clothes in the closet and even shoes on the floor. Not to mention creepy plush toys staring at me. She left him 8 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 336

You deserved it 110

Today, I found out that my ex has a “new” girlfriend. I’ve been romantically involved with the ex off and on since our breakup 2 years ago, which just so happens to be how long they’ve apparently been dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 746

Today, my phone cut out during a call for a job interview. I tried calling them back, but there was no answer. Later, I got an email from the interviewer, saying I was no longer being considered for the position due to my being "rude and unprofessional." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 877

You deserved it 160