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I only talking to one person here and it's this dumb bitch above you! If you don't like it, find yourself another FML. No one said you had to sit here in read this one. This is a community place. I have the right to post comments just as much as you do!

Paperboi

By Shan007tjuuh - 06/03/2012 08:57 - Netherlands

Today, I got up at 4:30 am, went to my job as the newspaper guy. Nobody was there to open the door, it was raining and I was freezing. I decided to wait, because I really wanted my salary. At 6 o'clock my boss opens the door and says, "Oh, it's you. Well, you're fired. We can't pay you anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 352

You deserved it 2 074

By badgirl - 21/06/2011 21:41 - United States

Today, I Googled myself. I found my mugshot and a blog my mom had written about how much of a problem child I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 351

You deserved it 23 626

I don't get paid enough for this

By Anonymous - 05/10/2010 09:41 - United States

Today, I was at work on a smoke break. I work at a truck stop, and it was around 2 a.m. Some old man pulled in and asked me if I would like to join him for some dinner. I said no, and told him I was working. He replied, "How much do you charge?" Apparently, even in sweats I look like a hooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 350

You deserved it 6 714

Baited

By Anonymous - 11/09/2010 01:44 - United States

Today, while I was driving, a police officer jumped out from the sidewalk and into my lane. I slammed on the brakes so I wouldn't hit him. He then gave me a ticket for "obstructing traffic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 350

You deserved it 2 578

By stankness - 22/03/2013 15:01 - United States

Today, I had to endure a long face-to-face conversation with a coworker who had fierce BO. He had his fingers interlaced around the back of his head the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 348

You deserved it 2 789

By jayden5 - 15/05/2009 18:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting next to this really cute guy in choir class. Trying to make conversation, I asked him what his favorite song was. He replied "Leave Me Alone". I asked him who it was by and he said, "It's not a song, I just want you to leave me alone". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 348

You deserved it 9 280

By Sarah - 24/07/2011 00:01 - Canada

Today, I was directing traffic at work during one of the hottest days of the year. Not only do I have to stand in the heat and exhaust fumes for minimum wage, I also had to endure people asking me "Aren't you hot?" as they drove past me in their air conditioned cars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 347

You deserved it 3 634

By mn167109 - 09/12/2014 05:45 - United States - Saint Charles

Today, I asked my dad why we didn't have any baby pictures. His response was, "They got lost in the flood of '93." I was born in '95. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 347

You deserved it 2 678

By Anonymous - 15/12/2011 21:49 - Australia

Today, my cat vomited violently. I can smell it but I can't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 346

You deserved it 3 432

Well did you?

By Kagura - 02/06/2010 15:05 - Turkey

Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant's entrance, called out and asked, "Did you flush it?" Everyone heard her. And I'm 22 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 345

You deserved it 3 826

By hatemyjob - 27/10/2009 04:04 - United States

Today, I arrived at work and was immediately given a disciplinary write-up for being two hours late for my shift. Apparently the manager had changed my schedule that morning and failed to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 344

You deserved it 2 074

By joeshmoe - 15/01/2012 12:52 - United States

Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 344

You deserved it 25 798

By Sheldon76 - 24/02/2015 19:43

Today, it was the day my catheter was to be removed. The nurse removing it deflated the balloon, and then tried pulling it out. After me screaming in extreme pain, she found out she hadn't actually deflated the balloon all the way. She was trying to pull a small balloon through my dick hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 344

You deserved it 2 173

Sheldon76 tells us more.

Sheldon76 16

Wednesday 25 February 2015 17:00

Well once she felt the resistance she stopped and deflated it fully. But unfortunately it had traveled some down the urethra before she realized. So I had to wait while she grabbed another syringe unfortunately.

By Anonymous - 14/03/2015 11:04 - Netherlands - Dronten

Today, I worked up the courage to tell my girlfriend that I love her. She made a face like she'd just sucked on a lemon and said, "Um... yay, I guess...?" and awkwardly left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 343

You deserved it 3 036