Sex, Frustration and Intimacy: Cover up

Cover up

By this_is_fucked - 24/10/2009 21:23 - Zimbabwe

Today, I realized that I'm the only person in my house not getting any. My sister is sleeping with my ex. My roommate is sleeping with my brother, and my mom texted me, asking to make it look like she slept in her bed so that she didn't have to do the "walk of shame" in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 460

You deserved it 2 908

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Same thing different taste

By Arizonagirl - 06/11/2016 07:31 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 292

You deserved it 831

Not now, mom!

By Anonymous - 28/09/2020 18:02 - United States - Gillette

Today, my mother showed up to pick something up from my house. I was sleeping and before I knew it she was in my bedroom, jumping on my bed, saying hi to my ex-girlfriend who she thought was with me. It wasn't my ex, and I doubt that girl will ever want to hang out again after that awkward morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 182

By yourstruly - 11/02/2010 19:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 694

You deserved it 2 353

Gratitude walks

By Anonymous - 06/02/2021 16:01 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, my sister slept with my boyfriend while I was at work providing for the both of them as well as our child. I let her move in after our mother kicked her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 640

You deserved it 157

Horndog

By Anonymous - 25/04/2021 08:01

Today, despite giving my sister a place to stay while she's in town for a funeral, she demanded I give a bedroom to her son to have to himself, because, "How am I supposed to have 'sexy time' with my husband with him in the room?" Everyone's sharing rooms, and no one's getting sexy time as someone literally died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 602

You deserved it 109

By Venus - 26/04/2019 20:00

Today, despite the fact that I live with my parents and pay rent, my mom decided the best spot for my brother, his wife and one-year-old son was my bedroom. So I'm sleeping on the couch, because it would, "take too long to clean her room." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 118

You deserved it 266

By sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 704

You deserved it 4 699

By nomorecleaning - 16/03/2013 12:17 - United States - Augusta

Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 150

You deserved it 4 036

By Thanksalot - 30/11/2013 05:58 - United States - Edinburg

Today, I'm staying with my in-laws. My husband is fighting with his dad, who's fighting with his brother-in-law, who's fighting with his wife. The only ones not fighting are my sister-in-law and her boyfriend, who're getting along great on a squeaky mattress in the room next to mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 536

You deserved it 4 153

Beggars can't be choosers

By I'm grown, damnit! - 21/06/2023 18:00

Today, my mom won't let me have the extra hotel room she booked all to myself, even though it's just me, her, and my sister. Basically I can share a room with her or with my sister, but I can't be alone. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 425

lahp 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 3:24

lol ... hey get laid then... there are tons of geeks on this website alone tht are desperate to get laid .. just read above :D

Bloodknight 22

Sunday 25 October 2009 2:35

Haha wow your mom is awesome!

Comments

Bluetreess 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 7:29

lol. tht seriously funny.

Ninjaface 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 7:47

You know you don't have to make it sound like your sister and your roommate are two different people.

VioletteSky 0

Friday 3 December 2010 4:52

wtfh

drayloon 50

Friday 19 September 2014 16:34

So her brother and her ex are the same guy?

cmac86 23

Sunday 25 October 2009 7:52

you know we can fix your problem.

KillU2009 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 8:35

i want to meet your mom.

omghehehe 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 13:09

chaos!!

perdix 29

Sunday 25 October 2009 15:35

Neither is your dad. Maybe you ought to start nailing him.

nevershouttami 11

Sunday 3 June 2012 11:43

what if her dad died o.o

kukopia 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 19:22

Use one of moms toys in her bed.

jillz 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 20:20

I hear sex is over rated anyway. At least you're not likely to be unclean or pregnant.

L0VEPiNK07 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 23:14

onlinebootycall.com, boo. :)

RagePX 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 23:43

come to me ill love you sexy !

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The Top

It's great to see you ! How was july ? Hot, sweaty, flirty ? How I miseed talking to you (and getting one or two comments if we're lucky enough). But let's not complain, a whole month welcoming artists for their second rounds who gave us brand new il...

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 11

Today, I tried making homemade bread, just for fun. My girlfriend started yelling that we had perfectly good bread from the store, "but noooo, my boyfriend just HAS to make his own bread!" She ended up ruining the experience, so I just threw the dough in the garbage and went to get drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 165

The Top

Today, I got into trouble for moving my chair around in class, which went on my permanent record, while other people were literally throwing things across the room and being loud but they didn't get in trouble. Tomorrow's my birthday and now my parents won't let me go out, even after I told them what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 140

Today, a nice couple came in to buy a car. I offered to drive it out from the line of cars for them, since it was a tight squeeze. They then watched as I managed to back it straight into another car, causing a large amount of damage to both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 931

You deserved it 22 101

Today, out of my mom, dad, and my siblings, I was the only one selected for a “random” extra check at the airport. My parents are English and my siblings were adopted from France and Scotland, and are all white. My bio parents were Pakistani, and I'm nutbrown and I was the only “random” search. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 325

You deserved it 188

I'm not really a unicorn! Gasp!

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 127

Today, I had to tell my best friend that I couldn't make it to the lake today or tomorrow because I'd been called in to work. She won't believe me and thinks I'm simply avoiding her. I got called in to bathe and clean dogs' anal glands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 756

You deserved it 3 211

Today, I have to go on a diet, because I can't afford to buy bigger clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 778

You deserved it 37 614