Love: Get out!

Get out!

By Anonymous - 10/03/2010 21:12 - United States

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert." Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 156

You deserved it 68 079

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/08/2014 05:51 - United States - Hicksville

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 936

You deserved it 7 026

By Anonymous - 01/03/2014 18:46 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 525

You deserved it 5 516

Mistaken identity

By Anonymous - 23/04/2022 12:00

Today, I asked my crush out for coffee but she wanted to go shopping. When she pulled me into the dressing room for my opinion on a bikini, I told her this was too fast for a first date. She looked at me in absolute horror. She thought I was gay, as in a harmless gay friend she could take shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 261

You deserved it 239

By tacoboy - 21/08/2009 08:06 - United States

Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 188

You deserved it 6 582

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 18:12 - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 509

You deserved it 2 944

By salad - 28/04/2014 15:38 - United States - North Charleston

Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 931

You deserved it 5 320

By steak through the heart - 18/11/2014 18:57 - United States - El Monte

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 043

You deserved it 4 126

By Anonymous - 13/03/2013 23:22 - United States

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 378

You deserved it 4 318

Chris Hansen time

By lloydLO - 24/10/2009 02:23 - United States

Today, I met and asked a cute girl out on a date. We decided to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown. When I got there I saw her sitting with what turned out to be her parents. They made a huge scene, calling me a pedophile and a low-life. Apparently, the girl was 16 years-old. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 128

You deserved it 13 601

By Loose Goose - 24/10/2018 12:00

Today, I went on a coffee date. It turned out to be a mistake - not because he was bad, but because I forgot how much coffee upsets my stomach. Yup, it makes me need to poop, and I did. In my jeans. As he drove me home. Not quite the "run" of fun we’d planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 709

You deserved it 721

ydi_ruuc 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:03

you expect to much...

irishfever 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:07

Just because you took her on a date you automatically get sex?

Comments

Shrop 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:47

You all lie. There isn't a single dude on here that thinks "coffee" really means coffee. if you do then you're a virgin. 99.9% of the time "coffee" is the lady-like way of saying "wanna come back to my place and **** my brains out?" Everyone knows this. OP just got stuck with that .1%

corme_fml 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 17:43

#258. If your date says "Let's go OUT for coffee" then it probably means they want to go out to drink and talk. If you went out on a date, had drinks and dinner and at the end of the night said "Come in for coffee, or dessert, or watch a movie, or play," It's usually a shy/subtle way of saying let's mess around... or let's have a drink and see where it goes. Yes... it could also mean let's actually just have a drink and talk... but usually that's what the DATE was about. I'm curious what you would say if you had a great night with your boyfriend (or a random date) and you wanted things to go further. Would you honestly say "would you like to come in for sex?" "Or "would you like to sleep with me?"

iloveloosy12 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:52

duhh

Giorgio272 2

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:53

serves you right for being such a creeper. if you want to get laid go to the club and pick up a drunk skankarella. **** her silly then go have a nice dinner with the gf. of she don't put put **** her. prostitution ftw.

ChivasFan 4

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:56

thanks 4 the tips # 91

whatshernuts 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:57

That sucks, bro. Now you're screwed (unfortunately not in the fun way either), because since she knows sex is expected, she's going to hold off on it even more. The funny thing about women is before you have sex, if they even know it's on your mind you're a filthy perv and she's instantly turned off. That, or they use it to lure you in, and then suddenly when they start "caring" about you sex is "special" and they don't wanna "ruin" the relationship with it.. meaning you never get any without getting on your knees and begging. Which, of course, makes you a filthy pig. So, you lose either way. (Disclaimer: Okay, obviously this is a broad generalization, I've just seen it be true a few too many times. Of course not all chicks are like that; I'm obviously not and there's plenty of women who just flat-out enjoy sex. If you are one of them, that's rad.) You're definitely not at fault for wanting it, and I can't blame you for thinking you were gonna get some, but you should've hidden your disappointment... simply for the sake of future sexy times. If you ever get them now. Good luck with that one, OP.

whatshernuts 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 23:51

Obviously things I have either experienced or seen.. if you haven't, that's rad, but I know plenty of people who have.

baykins 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:57

hahahaha u suck

xoluvinshayxo 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:01

Need a moment? Chew it over with a twix. "Hot coffee and dessert? This was what you had in mind?!?!" "What did you mean by that???" "Uhmm..." * crunch* *crunch* *crunch* "you know, i didn't like caramel. vanilla bean is the best and how about chocolate cake" "ohh okay. and tonight...i have something else planned..." J-A-C-K-P-O-T !!! [:

whatshernuts 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:28

Now you just need to pitch that idea to the advertisers for Twix

xHabsfanx 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:54

Lol @101 that was awesome, and it would actually make a great commercial as 124 said.

xoluvinshayxo 0

Friday 12 March 2010 0:46

hey thanks you guyss[:

The_good_times 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:01

You're so right. A lot of girls hold back because they don't want to be thought of as slutty. In a way it makes sense because a lot of guys will kind of lose their respect towards a girl that had sex with them after 2 hours.