Friends, Weird and Conspiracy theorist: Scientists in disguise - FML

Scientists in disguise

By Anonymous - 06/04/2022 14:00

Today, I lost a second friend to QAnon conspiracy theories. Worst yet, he started messaging everyone I know on Facebook, telling them I'm a hypocrite who doesn’t “do his research.” Those who don’t now think he was my gay lover believe we were lab partners. What do I do with that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 193

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Same thing different taste

Get better friends

By Q strikes again - 03/07/2022 00:00

Today, I introduced my two crazy friends who are both into QAnon to each other. It went so poorly that now they fight online over who has better facts, and they both complain to me about the other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 924

Whining at life

By 847 - 05/10/2022 15:30 - United States

Today, to get my wife off my back, I introduced our two single friends who are both into QAnon. Not only did they not click, but now they both call us regularly to embellish the insane difference between their beliefs and "what that moron believes." Same words from both of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 547

She has a bright future in politics

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 12:00

Today, I learned that my "friend" told my other friends that I was homophobic, sexist, and racist. None of that is true and she's just trying to turn everyone against me for no reason. She has also apparently been talking BS behind my back. Worst part is I did nothing to her. I don't know what to do now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 111

The good guy

By Lolli - 29/06/2023 18:00

Today, my now ex-boyfriend posted a status, ranting about how social media ruins relationships and that you can’t have friends anymore without people “hatin’ and shit.” He conveniently left out the part where he and my best friend were sexting via Instagram DMs and got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 94

By creeper-status - 05/05/2016 17:37 - United States - Irvine

Today, I made a new friend at my college campus, which was great, until I added him on Facebook and he started liking posts from 3 years ago, asking if he could be my "dirty little secret" because he knows that I have a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 194

You deserved it 974

By Thanks guys - 26/11/2013 05:21 - United States - Richmond

Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 036

You deserved it 4 922

By drama king? - 10/04/2013 22:17 - United States - Bolivar

Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 568

You deserved it 5 996

Tricky situation

By Anonymous - 14/05/2020 05:00

Today, my roommate in our barracks posted trans hate-speech on Facebook. My choices are to report him and risk ending his military career, confront him and risk him finding out I'm trans, or do nothing and live in fear of him figuring me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 376

You deserved it 548

Believe in the Q

By Q Hub - 14/10/2021 14:00

Today, I found out my 36 year-old wife has been cyberstalking an 18 year old-girl for a week. Why? Because the girl doesn’t believe in QAnon. I found out when my wife’s online business started getting backlash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 98

Whackjobs 'R Us

By Anonymous - 01/11/2020 11:01 - Slovakia - Senec

Today, I realised that 3/4 of my family are prone to believe conspiracies and are anti-vax Covid freaks. I want to keep our relationships, but every discussion ends in an argument about some conspiracy they believe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 188

Next

Top comments

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Wednesday 6 April 2022 17:30

Tell them to talk to him some more. They'll quickly realise he's a nutter.

poopface82 19

Wednesday 6 April 2022 18:29

You could always lean into the “gay lover” angle…plenty of off-color ideas with that.

Comments

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Wednesday 6 April 2022 17:30

Tell them to talk to him some more. They'll quickly realise he's a nutter.

poopface82 19

Wednesday 6 April 2022 18:29

You could always lean into the “gay lover” angle…plenty of off-color ideas with that.

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 073

You deserved it 9 127

Today, our roof collapsed due to water damage. I had saved the money to get the roof fixed months ago, but my wife saw a scare story about gas stoves and demanded we spend the money getting every gas-powered appliance ripped out and replaced. That new HVAC system will work great in a condemned house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 184

The Top

Today, I was at my friends house for the first time in months. I saw her newest chihuahua dog, Mickey, and he was excited that new people were over. I picked him up and slightly bounced him in the air. Because of the bounce and his excitement, he peed a little bit, straight into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 208

You deserved it 34 119

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 791

You deserved it 13 809

Today, an elderly gentleman customer decided to tell me that while I'm not attractive at all, he'd still bang me all the same. Then he gave me a pained smile, like he was struggling not to shit himself, and left. I'm starting to hate working retail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 580

You deserved it 1 622

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 022

You deserved it 32 520

Today, my horrible parents turned up to the restaurant I work at just to mess with me. Dad forgot his wallet, what a surprise, and asked me to pay the bill. I refused so my manager got involved. My dad got arrested, I got fired and might lose my lousy flat if I’m late on the rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 1 094

Today, I found out my best friend has a massive head lice infestation. It wasn't until after I'd used her hairbrush to brush my hair that I figured it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 084

You deserved it 7 239