Miscellaneous: Today, I not only absent-mindedly tried to scrub the natural...

By Anonymous - 18/08/2012 21:48 - Japan

Today, I not only absent-mindedly tried to scrub the natural suntan from my arm, I also spent several long seconds wondering why it wouldn't come free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 957

You deserved it 22 578

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 00:27 - Canada

Today, as I finished putting self tanner on my legs, the phone rang. Telemarketer. After returning to the bathroom I put moisturizer on my face. As I looked in the mirror, I soon realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands. My face is now streaky orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 586

You deserved it 51 113

By soapy - 01/10/2011 16:08 - Canada

Today, while taking a shower, my back hair caused so much friction against the bar of soap, it stuck for a good second before coming free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 070

You deserved it 8 931

Tanned pits

By huulo - 16/11/2010 10:07

Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 480

You deserved it 28 072

Back to reality

By Herbiee - 18/08/2010 12:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. Fifteen minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 480

You deserved it 13 099

By betterthanhodor - 03/06/2015 15:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I got my make-up remover wipes mixed up with my sister's self-tan wipes. I am currently watching my face slowly turn orange and there is nothing I can do about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 131

You deserved it 5 941

Skincare routine

By Anonymous - 05/03/2023 03:00

Today, I thought I could make my own skincare products from scratch, but I ended up with a weird, greasy concoction, which left a red mark on my hands. It's been two hours and the mark is still there, despite several washes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 1 367

Routine maintenance

By xXCHCKXx - 25/08/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, and for the past few days, my skin has been all blotchy and messed up so I tried a new face mask that was supposed to peel off easily. It ended up sticking to my skin like glue. I spent hours in front of the mirror trying to peel it off, one painful sliver at a time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 123

By needabettermirror - 14/12/2016 11:07 - United States - Holland

Today, I spent twenty minutes looking in the mirror trying to remove a blackhead from my chin. It was a freckle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 058

You deserved it 2 985

By owwwwwe - 09/01/2012 21:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 013

You deserved it 24 805

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 584

You deserved it 39 952

nictransitglory 4

Sunday 19 August 2012 2:41

Intelligence is only skin deep.... So keep scrubbing

Kiki242 19

Sunday 19 August 2012 2:43

Really? Sounds like something snooki would do.

Comments

ebonyirony 29

Sunday 19 August 2012 3:42

Too used to spray tans?

kimg0885 23

Sunday 19 August 2012 3:52

You were high ...weren't you?

MrElephant 5

Sunday 19 August 2012 4:08

*facepalm*

Elovena 9

Thursday 23 August 2012 11:11

Your profile makes me wanna hug you. :'(

sdroze1389 31

Monday 13 January 2014 14:32

sick burn.

gypsyzambie 2

Sunday 19 August 2012 4:19

In parts of Asia, tan skin is considered less attractive compared to a lighter complexion.

briancallahan 3

Sunday 19 August 2012 4:24

Idiot...

AwesomePdudE 9

Sunday 19 August 2012 4:35

I dar vryon to go a wk without using or any substitut for it.

AznSamoan52 10

Sunday 19 August 2012 4:45

The suntan is already eliminating brain cells.

xKites 4

Sunday 19 August 2012 5:09

purplebumblebee 2

Sunday 19 August 2012 5:37

Oompa loompa dompity do, One little scrub will never just do. Ive been thinking all the day long, Give me a break I know this is a shitty song.

Whistlee 8

Sunday 19 August 2012 6:20

At least you got a tan o.o

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The Top

Today, my seventy-year-old male live-in landlord asked if I'd heard a low humming noise the last few nights, around midnight, as someone had mentioned it. I feigned ignorance, whilst silently lamenting the decline of my self-pleasure opportunities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 405

You deserved it 272

Today, I sent a forward to the ladies at my office. When I scrolled down I noticed my personal emails from my best friend were attached. They go into great detail about the sex I had last night, when I was planning on dumping my boyfriend, and that I suspected I had an anal fissure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 741

You deserved it 61 320

The Top

Today, I drove all the way to another state and dealt with Chicago traffic on the way just to learn to drive stick. I couldn't learn, because the truck was suddenly unavailable, and when it was available again, whoever had it last lost the keys. Guess I gotta make another trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 109

Today, my boyfriend of four years decided that the best way to break up with me was to move out of our apartment while I was at work, and then text me a video of himself having sex with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 231

You deserved it 335

Today, my seemingly innocent younger brother showed our family a video of what he was doing last night when he skipped New Student Orientation. He's been in college all of 48 hours and he's already joined a fight club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 223

You deserved it 294

Today, while getting ready to welcome my first child into the world, my father in law decided to "help out" and threw out a bunch of papers I needed. Like my child's application for a health card, social insurance number, and my birth plan, as well as instructions from my doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 013

You deserved it 3 715

Today, my mom left me at home with a babysitter. I'm 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 364

You deserved it 5 495

Today, I paid $60 for a haircut from a professional stylist, only to walk out looking like Spock from Star Trek. The worst part was the stylist asked me, "Hey, are you going to see that new Star Trek movie?" and tried to talk me into watching it. Now, wherever I go, people are giving me the 'live long and prosper' sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 704

You deserved it 9 454