Animals: Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to...

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 316

You deserved it 7 643

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Same thing different taste

By dickwebs - 22/11/2010 03:42 - Germany

Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 966

You deserved it 5 232

By spiderwoman - 04/11/2012 17:12 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 724

You deserved it 13 565

By AussieGirl - 21/11/2009 11:40 - Australia

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 141

You deserved it 4 017

By dre_bro11 - 06/11/2011 12:17 - Australia

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 059

You deserved it 12 473

By terrified - 09/08/2015 03:10 - United States - Forest City

Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 406

You deserved it 2 444

Monster in my bathroom

By Thescarlettfox - 16/02/2020 01:00

Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 450

You deserved it 871

Freakout

By emmey - 23/07/2009 19:43 - United States

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 916

You deserved it 44 868

By eebie jeebies - 30/05/2016 15:31 - United States - Cypress

Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 481

You deserved it 3 176

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 150

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 317

Seegtease 0

Monday 20 April 2009 9:47

Spider got some ACTION before it died.

FBIWarning 0

Monday 20 April 2009 9:47

At least you killed it :)

Comments

organized_chaos 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 0:01

oh.my.god. D':

planetearth 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 0:17

Even grosser - you apparently got your underwear off of the floor and wore them. Underwear on the floor = dirty underwear. Nasty.

starvingxartist 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 0:36

just be glad that you know the spider was there. because that mean's it's not still there. eek. o.o

increasethepeace 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 0:43

this seems like an FYL for the spider also. At least he got to hit that b4 he died

empire_fml 2

Tuesday 21 April 2009 0:55

hahaha this happened to me. Only I sat in an ant pile without knowing it.

kbd013 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 0:56

check for bites cuz u culd jus b numb down there ya know. Wat a way to get over a phobia :)

Indiana_fml 4

Tuesday 21 April 2009 1:06

Ewwwww! I would have totally freaked out!

Sweet_heart_fml 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 1:07

LMAO that's soooo gross. but funny :)

rachel_anna 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 1:12

ew ew ew ew ew but hahaha

grocky 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 1:14

AHHHHHHH! I would faint if that happened to me.

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The Top

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 501

You deserved it 5 101

Today, I went with my boyfriend to the OC Fair. He was taking a picture of me in front of a giant mechanical butterfly at the insect exhibit. Playfully, he told me to pretend to be a butterfly, so I quickly lifted my arms, just in time to slap a 7 year-old girl in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 754

You deserved it 6 017

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 41 850

You deserved it 3 174

Today, I confronted my boss for his inadequate contribution to our work. He accepted his inadequacy and apologized for not doing enough. He now expects me to work on everything single-handedly, since he has already clarified his inadequacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 557

You deserved it 4 539

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I agree, your life sucks 11 062

You deserved it 50 976

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I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 97

Today, I got my hair done, eyebrows waxed, and a new expensive dress to impress my boyfriend. When I got home I asked him if he noticed anything different about me. He looked at me for one minute before asking, "Did you finally start using Proactive?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 164

You deserved it 5 807

Today, as usual, I worked at McDonald's. Although I tried to diffuse the situation, an old man was absolutely furious, and punched me in the face over BBQ sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 526

You deserved it 125