Miscellaneous: Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere...

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 435

You deserved it 7 721

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Same thing different taste

By Higgs - 02/06/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 130

You deserved it 6 203

Baywatch music starts

By Anonymous - 01/05/2019 12:00

Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 058

You deserved it 619

By anonymous - 10/06/2009 22:50 - United States

Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 722

You deserved it 4 671

By Anonymous - 29/05/2012 18:43 - United States - Springfield

Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 359

You deserved it 2 174

Baywatch

By Anonymous - 02/10/2017 19:30 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 345

You deserved it 488

By Anonymous - 04/07/2014 19:04 - Netherlands

Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 940

You deserved it 3 434

Sick moves, bro

By Fish - 19/03/2009 15:47 - United Arab Emirates

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 299

You deserved it 55 362

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 00:19 - United States

Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 685

You deserved it 12 508

By mathii - 23/07/2011 23:52 - France

Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 767

You deserved it 6 157

By klutz - 10/08/2009 14:34 - United States

Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 851

You deserved it 56 827

lexiemae97 9

Saturday 11 June 2011 5:53

he was running his hands over your chest? hmmmm.... I don't think his intentions were to save your life.....

jennifer93 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 5:51

hey at least you know the pool has lifeguards that do their job!

Comments

jasminea 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 5:54

that was definitely on purpose!(: I would take it as a compliment.

Candace7 19

Wednesday 13 May 2015 15:26

would you also take rape as a compliment?

Livinia 11

Saturday 11 June 2011 5:54

That still doesn't excuse him from running his hands over your chest ...

Livinia 11

Saturday 11 June 2011 5:57

...his hands*...

johnnythreetears 2

Saturday 11 June 2011 6:52

I'm a lifeguard, when you see someone drowning and go in, it's a massive adrenaline rush so for one, I doubt he even remembers feeling OP up, and when getting behind the person to tow them back to safety, you have to sweep under their arms and over their chest (depending on which tow you use) but either way, I doubt he tried. how about OP learns how to swim so the lifeguard can focus on real situations

Livinia 11

Saturday 11 June 2011 7:47

Oh okay, I didn't realize that.

cc_the_beast 6

Saturday 11 June 2011 13:55

It's pretty hard to rescue someone without touching bits that aren't usually touched. paticularly when both parties are almost naked to begin with.

ThogTheCaveman 7

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:30

you know, except for CPR. That kinda requires hands on chest.

pYrO92583 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:41

a guy never forgets a good pair brother

cc_the_beast 6

Sunday 12 June 2011 4:37

That's my point, when you are rescuing someone, it's hands on everything...

Thabb 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 5:55

He wanted to feel your boobs.

The_Weirdo 10

Saturday 11 June 2011 5:55

Let me guess, there were three others drowning all at the same time, Amirite?

nmearayta 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 5:58

no, all comments ending in "amirite" will and are always wrong rule68

CokokoLa 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 6:51

OH crap i thumbed up instead of down.... i hate when this happens lol

a_nutritionist 10

Saturday 11 June 2011 16:07

dont worry, i thumbed it down for you.

greendaygirl112 0

Monday 13 June 2011 5:56

no your not right

iLazy 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 5:57

Water you doing in the pool?

CanWeMicrowaveIt 11

Saturday 11 June 2011 9:27

I see what you did there.

ThogTheCaveman 7

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:32

Well, yeah, you were supposed to see what he did there. It wasn't even subtle.

MikalaHart 4

Saturday 11 June 2011 5:58

Swimming lessons?

CountryGirl111 7

Saturday 11 June 2011 5:59

aww im sure it wasnt that bad op =)

Zombieslayer1 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 5:59

the guy knows what he's doing, don't deter him;)

soulfulemo 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 6:00

well, if some guy drowns the same time as u, u know who'd get saved first ..;) thought the life guards intentions seem to lean more towards feeling up a girl, than to saving her life.