Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

By Tanner - 07/04/2012 02:26 - United States - Salem

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 553

You deserved it 10 731

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Same thing different taste

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 439

You deserved it 11 645

By JustADream - 24/02/2011 06:29 - United States

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 571

You deserved it 9 464

By hedayk - 15/05/2015 20:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 270

You deserved it 12 018

By pooplife - 30/11/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 253

You deserved it 4 962

By loveloves154 - 30/03/2018 15:00

Today, our toilet overflowed during the night. Over 50 gallons worth leaked through the floor and the ceiling to the room below. I am now covered in poop water. What a way to start the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 959

You deserved it 267

By Anonymous - 22/05/2011 20:31 - United States

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 771

You deserved it 6 537

Help!

By Anonymous - 25/11/2012 06:56 - United States

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 395

You deserved it 8 093

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 766

You deserved it 6 742

Nice mental image

By Maggie - 17/03/2020 17:00

Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 633

You deserved it 325

By lunarclips - 27/06/2016 14:08 - Canada - Brandon

Today, is the day I graduate. Today is the day I have explosive diarrhea and I haven't moved far from the toilet since I woke up this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 090

You deserved it 1 239

FatelBlade 8

Saturday 7 April 2012 8:19

Seems like you're in quite the sticky situation.

zingline89 18

Saturday 7 April 2012 8:20

Guess your wife was really fed up with you constantly wetting the bed.

Comments

iStrukk 7

Saturday 7 April 2012 19:41

Ah, it's one of those kind of days

jdcg116 10

Saturday 7 April 2012 19:52

AHAHAHA@ 48- prefix assome comment man

jasleen4eva 0

Saturday 7 April 2012 20:05

Once I super glued my fingers together. It took me an hour to get them apart.

Apm96 0

Saturday 7 April 2012 20:45

Crazy friday night?

speedsk8r4evr 1

Saturday 7 April 2012 23:14

How the heck did that happen?? Prank or just a wild night??

OHai15 12

Saturday 7 April 2012 23:20

Sittin on tha toilet!! Mff! Sittin on the toilet, mff!! Sittin toilet mmfff!!! ..... Now flush!!

OHai15 12

Saturday 7 April 2012 23:26

Ba dumm tsst

emmymichelle 0

Sunday 8 April 2012 0:18

"Dude I wasn't that drunk" (;

Nwthatzfunny 9

Sunday 8 April 2012 0:29

Dang long night i see

Twisted_Angel 17

Sunday 8 April 2012 0:31

Lmfao!! So many things have to happen before a FML like this is posted... we need more details to laugh at please.

Keywords

Transportation Cars Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Kids Fire Food Capitalism Money Miscellaneous Clothes AITA Thief Intimacy Health Birthday Death Sex Disability Abuse Love Camping Fish Holidays Vegan Ableism Geek Gamers

The Top

Today, I had a long talk with my now ex-boyfriend. I explained why I'm not comfortable with him bringing up his new female coworker multiple times a day, talking with her about their kinks and fetishes, or possibly being around her outside of work. We've been together for nine years. He's only known her for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 118

Today, I sat at work for eight hours daydreaming about the homemade four-cheese ravioli I would come home to after spending three hours making it from scratch the night before. When I finally got home and heated the ravioli, I dropped it all over my feet, giving me second degree burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 319

You deserved it 2 767

The Top

Today, my girlfriend viciously chewed me out for not taking a sandwich to work to save money. I don't have a problem with packing lunches, but the store-brand white bread she insists on buying is disgusting. She won't listen to me, and refuses to let me buy anything else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 288

Today, my girlfriend called saying that she wanted to break up because she wasn't into me anymore. Yesterday, I paid $400 to take her to a Red Sox game, so I asked her why she even came with me. She said that she had been talking to her ex-boyfriend, and he said he was going to that game too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 865

You deserved it 150

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 745

You deserved it 42 611

Today, my 9 year-old son told me that sometimes he gets stiff “down there.” I assured him that it’s perfectly normal, but then he added that it only happens when he hears his stomach growling. Um, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 160

Today, I decided to go to a therapy group to help with my anxiety and to meet people who felt similar. I joked with my friend that no one would turn up as people might feel anxious about going. I was right. I was the only one there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 742

You deserved it 3 777

Today, my mom wished her best friend a Happy Birthday on Facebook. Her best friend died this year. Oh, did I mention that it’s also my birthday? FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 106

Same thing different taste

Help!

Nice mental image

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