By fmlgirl - 09/05/2014 18:44 - Netherlands - Hulst

Today, my brain-dead brother-in-law decided to play five finger fillet while at my place. Predictably, he ended up slicing a finger wide open. My mother-in-law now wants my blood, because she thinks I dared him to do it, and that clearly her perfect little angel couldn't be such a moron. FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 017
You deserved it 3 900

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Nothing worse then a pissed off in-law... Run girl!

I guess he thinks he's a cyborg, since Bishop is the only one I know who wins at that game.

Comments

Well, to be positive, at least your husband is not the brain-dead one.

She wants your blood? I smell another game of five finger fillet...

The knife game. You put your hand on the table and spread your fingers out and you use a knife and stab in between your fingers. You have to go in order from thumb to pinkie and then pinkie to thumb. The idea is to pick up the speed as you go and then it gets really easy to cut your self.

Let me correct myself a little. You don't have to go from thumb to Pinkie you can start off in any way.

rocker_chick23 27

What an awesome and thought out comment.

My first impression as I read this was that your brother was actually brain dead. Be grateful of your family's physical and mental health, OP, things could be worse.

Her accusing you of daring him makes him look more of an idiot than he already blatantly is.

For anyone that doesn't know five finger fillet is a game where you place your hand flat on a table, palm side down, and then stab a knife into the table between your fingers as fast as possible. You stab the spaces between starting from one end of your hand and working your way to the other. I HIGHLY suggest you don't try this with a knife....unless you want to lose a finger... Even if you DID dare him to do it, he'd still be an idiot for doing it then. Tell her to kiss your right cheek and move on, she can't do anything to you and if she does, you can put her in jail.

I know your pain, my father does the same thing with my little brother.

Even if OP dared his brother-in-law, that guy would still be a moron. His tombstone would say "Died because someone dared him to jump of the Empire State Building".

Linnmeow 11

Is your mother-in-law Lyza Tully?