Kids: Today, my friend's kid chased me with a rusty, sharp tent peg...

By FuckLife - 11/02/2012 13:41 - Australia

Today, my friend's kid chased me with a rusty, sharp tent peg and threatened to kill me. When I finally got him to calm down he ran off to his room. Later, I found the tent peg under his pillow with a note that said my name. My friend thinks it's hilarious. I am staying here for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 461

You deserved it 2 487

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 574

You deserved it 6 326

Affectionate, huh?

By littlemiss - 10/02/2013 16:17 - Canada - Whitby

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 655

You deserved it 3 048

By ihateteenagers - 30/12/2010 02:12 - United States

Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 569

You deserved it 10 071

By Noname - 27/02/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, during a game of manhunt, my brother and his friends thought it would be funny to tie me to a telelphone pole with my very own multicolored jumprope from when I was younger. They left me there. My mom drove by, stared and then laughed, She kept driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 684

You deserved it 5 120

Mean Girls

By Anonymous - 07/06/2022 16:00 - United States

Today, my house was pelted with rotten eggs. Apparently, my daughter and her friends are bullying a boy in her class. So, his older brother set out for revenge. According to the threatening note he left, "This is just the start if they don't leave him alone." My daughter thinks this means she should bully harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 1 680

By ellen77 - 13/09/2013 05:55 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 030

You deserved it 5 432

By NaomiMadison - 30/07/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 104

You deserved it 3 138

By Jim - 19/04/2016 17:25 - United States

Today, my son is having housing issues, so I let him stay at my place for a while. Today, he found out that the quiet, dorky-looking professor who lives next door is an MMA fighter. He tried to break into the guy's house in the middle of the night and is now in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 379

You deserved it 4 193

By I_Am_The_Edge - 11/06/2009 16:06 - United States

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 718

You deserved it 865 546

By I fathered a pussy. - 14/06/2013 22:12 - United States - Lakeland

Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 991

You deserved it 4 935

xLoLa_fml 6

Saturday 11 February 2012 20:17

What were you doing looking under his pillow...?

madelinebriana 11

Saturday 11 February 2012 20:16

That's terrifying.

Comments

lizard399 0

Sunday 12 February 2012 1:59

"Ha ha, oh don't worry about him. He's only messing around, quite the little jokester" "He was trying to kill me with a rusty tent pin.." "Maybe he just needs a nap, kids get a little cranky sometimes" This would be a funny comic.

ADuckOnQuack_fml 0

Sunday 12 February 2012 2:00

Sleep With One Eye Open?

rmr0011 8

Sunday 12 February 2012 2:08

That is terrible parenting.

mattorama 15

Sunday 12 February 2012 2:13

You were completely buried the moment you ran in the first place. Now he knows you're scared.

TheCamoWulf 17

Sunday 12 February 2012 2:15

Just tell him the bogeyman will kill him in his sleep.... Jk

JMichael 25

Sunday 12 February 2012 2:27

Shove that tent stake up his ass the next time he comes near you. Guarantee he won't threaten you again.

BlackCloudedSldr 5

Sunday 12 February 2012 2:28

Take it and leave a note under his pillow in it's place stating "Now the tables have turned... I'm going to kill... YOU!" he won't fall asleep.

tennis06 7

Sunday 12 February 2012 2:30

Chase him around with a rusty tent peg?

kayla92113 0

Sunday 12 February 2012 2:30

wat is a tent peg. It sound sad. Good luck. U r still alive if u were able to text this. Just a couple days to go.

random_ribbons 15

Sunday 12 February 2012 21:28

What sounds sad is your comment. What is with your spelling? And a tent peg is the thing you hold the tent down to the ground with. Part of it usually connects to the tent, and the other part goes into the ground.