Work: Today, a couple yelled at me and reported me to the homeowner... - FML

By TheDeathguard - 20/07/2017 20:05

Today, a couple yelled at me and reported me to the homeowner association for "watching them make out" at the pool. I'm the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 688

You deserved it 289

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Same thing different taste

STOP!

By lamelifeguard - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Morrison

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 073

You deserved it 4 466

By Lifeguard - 04/04/2009 19:03 - United States

Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 538

You deserved it 4 496

Dumbass friends

By georgehentson - 04/08/2021 20:01

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to post a sign at the deep end of the public swimming pool, saying, "This end topless only." When someone complained, he said that I did it, and I got banned from the pool for life. And fired, too - I was the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 137

By Anonymous - 30/11/2015 23:54 - Belgium - Gent

Today, I was verbally and physically attacked in a public pool, because I was swimming in what a grandma claimed was her part of the pool. Since I'm a very tolerant person, I calmly tried to talk some reason into the elderly lady. The lifeguard had to come to protect me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 816

You deserved it 1 774

By "mbrider" - 12/08/2017 16:00

Today, I saved a woman from drowning at a pool where I lifeguard, but when I got her out of the water she started screaming about sexual assault. Apparently I accidentally brushed her breasts when pulling her up and out of the water. She wants to sue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 880

You deserved it 268

By Anonymous - 25/03/2014 21:53 - United States - Springboro

Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 510

You deserved it 3 844

By Higgs - 02/06/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 130

You deserved it 6 203

By cock blocked - 22/04/2015 15:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 142

You deserved it 2 473

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 435

You deserved it 7 721

By Anonymous - 06/09/2009 18:23 - United States

Today, I was fired from my job. I was a lifeguard and the other day a 30 year-old man who only spoke Spanish hit on me. I'm 16 and I'd politely rejected him. He then went to the front desk and told them how I tried molesting him in the locker room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 517

You deserved it 2 646

Next

Top comments

ThatIsSoFetch 7

Thursday 20 July 2017 20:40

What do they expect when they're making out in a public place?

123765 18

Thursday 20 July 2017 20:09

what's seriously wrong with people these days

Comments

123765 18

Thursday 20 July 2017 20:09

what's seriously wrong with people these days

Akitakat 31

Friday 21 July 2017 1:20

It's not just "these days"...its been like this for a long time. Many just aren't aware.

Glowworm56 26

Thursday 20 July 2017 20:10

"Sir, and lady making out, please get a room!"

ThatIsSoFetch 7

Thursday 20 July 2017 20:40

What do they expect when they're making out in a public place?

Lalala579121 27

Friday 21 July 2017 2:35

A public place where it's someone's job to watch people, no less.

Lobby_Bee 17

Thursday 20 July 2017 20:47

Was it hot?

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 20 July 2017 21:23

If your swim trunks showed your enthusiasm for their activity, they do have a valid point.

White19 13

Friday 21 July 2017 12:18

Lol no

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Thursday 20 July 2017 22:27

Tell them not to flatter themselves and to carry on.

yeongji 31

Friday 21 July 2017 0:26

It seems to me that they wanted their "5 seconds of fame" from making out to last longer by dragging an innocent bystander into their mess. Sorry to hear what happened, OP.

Lalala579121 27

Friday 21 July 2017 6:18

Well they've gotta do something to spice up their romantic life. They probably can't make other activities last longer than 5 seconds.

electrodude 15

Friday 21 July 2017 7:44

So next time you're on duty and something happens to them look the other way

olga_crvjl 19

Friday 21 July 2017 8:55

Lmao omg I can't ??

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Friday 21 July 2017 16:50

You can't what? You have to finish your sentence.

thatslifeiguess7 16

Friday 21 July 2017 17:28

Maybe blowing your whistle gave the wrong impression?

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Ahoy ship's boys and girls ! Today we're heading to France. Be ready to face rain, storm and beer because Lille is welcoming us, and believe me, it's not Los Angeles. Do you all have your raincoats? -Bonjour ! First of all, present yourself ma jol...

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 6

Today, my lawnmower found the dart that my kids lost from my dartboard set last week. It found it as my husband was mowing the grass and flung it at about 60 miles an hour point first into my kneecap. It won’t come out, so I’m sat in an overcrowded ER on a Friday night with a 3 hour wait time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 68

The Top

Today, I walked in on the guy I called a cuck in high school going down on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 1 910

Today, the new Apple update put all of the 100+ nudes I'd sent my boyfriend on his mother's phone because their accounts are linked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 725

You deserved it 4 238

Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of his fingernails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 44

Today, I used a blanket outside for a picnic. Later, while throwing it in the washer, I noticed a lizard jump out to land inbetween the bowl and the side. Then I noticed a wasp had joined it. I'm scared to open my washer now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 050

You deserved it 597

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 979

You deserved it 4 336

Today, my husband and roommate went out to protest for the second day in a row. I have an anxiety disorder, so I can't go. I’m just stuck here watching videos of the fires and violence, wondering if they will even come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 380

You deserved it 1 085