Health, Food, Roommate and Fire: Dude, what the…?

Dude, what the…?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 032

You deserved it 4 741

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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Dumbass

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 978

You deserved it 246

Easily distracted

By Jeanine - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 344

You deserved it 5 816

Night time entertainment

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 276

You deserved it 423

Smoking is so cool

By Burnt - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 896

You deserved it 61 515

Doofus

By Coykoi - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 916

You deserved it 10 422

The smell test

By sosadstudent - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 098

You deserved it 4 449

Glade

By stinkystinky - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 932

You deserved it 964

Frostbite

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 524

You deserved it 41 838

Bad boy

By Shiva - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 782

You deserved it 9 643

Piss off, basically

By lonelyandcold - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Solihull

Today, after coming home from surgery, I discovered that the heating in my entire building had failed. I called my mom asking if I could come and stay with her for a few days. She told me to "think warm thoughts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 179

You deserved it 1 910

xX504DBXx 0

Saturday 11 December 2010 8:23

man... not the hot dogs. looks like he's just gonna have to resort to ramen. hopefully he doesn't **** that up too.

redbluegreen 40

Saturday 11 December 2010 8:38

Idiots, obviously.

Comments

stephanie911_fml 0

Saturday 11 December 2010 11:00

Wieners!

jonathanpwns 0

Monday 13 December 2010 8:37

Comments that are simple/stupid like yours make me chuckle everytime. that's a good thing, not sure how it comes out though because i said stupid :p

ErikaaLauren 0

Saturday 11 December 2010 11:07

im thinking he needs to switch to hamburgers ....or pizza rolls microwaves don't use fire lol sorry bro

AceArctic 4

Saturday 11 December 2010 15:28

While that's true, my sister managed to catch ours on fire. Twice. -.-

MaJiN_fml 2

Saturday 11 December 2010 11:32

probably blonde as well

Faleni 4

Saturday 11 December 2010 11:41

op helloooo! either A. start making the hot dogs your self B. teach the roommate how to do it or C. stop bitching ydi for letting it happen 4 times!! lol just sayin!

mamamiaaa_fml 12

Saturday 11 December 2010 12:05

okay after the second fire shouldn't the roommate be banned from cooking? or even the third. and hot dogs just be banned because they're so dangerous. ps hot dogs = crap. it's all the crappy parts of the animal. only times it's even a little good is when you put a lot of other crap on it to drown out the taste. but yeah don't eat em anymore.

glitterysnails 7

Saturday 11 December 2010 12:08

LOL don't you just boil hotdogs?

SomePinkTape 0

Saturday 11 December 2010 12:11

lol haha I see how that can happen. My sister tried to make a grilled cheese sammich once and ended up burning the bread and not even melting the cheese.

brootalxkeni 0

Saturday 11 December 2010 12:25

lol she sucks that bad?

sallen0046 4

Saturday 11 December 2010 12:36

Why would you chose to continue living with someone who has set the house on fire not one, but three times before? Especially considering they've done so trying to complete a task most children are capable of mastering. Either move out, get a new roommate, or don't complain when everything you own eventually goes up in flames.