Health and Miscellaneous: Today, while using the bathroom in a small coffee shop, I somehow...

By Man Shamed - 29/06/2019 10:00 - United States - Hyattsville

Today, while using the bathroom in a small coffee shop, I somehow passed out sitting on the toilet. There is nothing more jarring than waking up to the vicious banging of 7 angry, urine-filled patrons attempting to break down a door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 427

You deserved it 1 098

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Drained

By Anonymous - 10/02/2017 08:00 - United States - Washington

Today, while using the restroom at my favorite cafe, I fell asleep for 30 minutes. There is nothing more jarring than waking up to the banging of 7 angry, urine-filled patrons viciously breaking down the only barrier between between you and your shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 220

You deserved it 2 488

By Anonymous - 12/06/2015 02:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to use the bathroom really badly in a drug store. After I did a #2, just as I realized the handle on the toilet was broken, a knock came at the door. I tried fixing it for ten minutes, before slipping out the door, to come face to face with two employees coming to fix the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 870

You deserved it 2 764

Oh, hello there, don't mind me

By downinthedumps - 13/01/2015 02:47 - United States - Detroit

Today, I went to take a piss in a public bathroom. Somehow, I managed to completely jam the lock. After minutes of trying to get myself out, I gave up and crawled under the stall, at which point someone walked in and was very surprised to see me on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 989

You deserved it 3 337

We could be heroes

By OhPleaseNo - 07/04/2020 14:00 - OhPleaseNo

Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 703

You deserved it 187

By not a shitty situation so fuck you - 24/06/2016 22:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 843

You deserved it 771

You OK in there?

By stinkypants - 10/11/2011 03:15 - India

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 783

You deserved it 11 857

By pissingcontest - 30/05/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 645

You deserved it 46 015

Partaaaaay!

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 18:16 - Canada - Kelowna

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 124

You deserved it 46 969

By hedayk - 15/05/2015 20:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 270

You deserved it 12 018

10 out 10 for execution

By Anonymous - 30/08/2020 13:01 - Australia - Liverpool

Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 247

You deserved it 585

lateralligator 12

Saturday 29 June 2019 17:45

You should ask your doctor about Vasovagal nerve syncope. There's a nerve that if it gets pressed (poop pressure) can cause you to pass out on the toilet. Can be dangerous if you slip and whack your head on a counter or something. also lol

Oley 27

Saturday 29 June 2019 16:47

I bet it scared the piss or shit out of you

Comments

Oley 27

Saturday 29 June 2019 16:47

I bet it scared the piss or shit out of you

saberjpg 6

Saturday 29 June 2019 17:18

Maybe you should switch from decaf to caffeinated?

lateralligator 12

Saturday 29 June 2019 17:45

blondie45 21

Sunday 30 June 2019 5:06

What caused you to pass out? Were you drunk?

alycion 38

Sunday 30 June 2019 9:50

As someone with random fainting spells, I feel your pain. At least we figured out how to keep mine in remission. But passing out in front of the arena wasn’t embarrassing at all when my phone blew up asking if it was me. Hope you can find and treat the reason. Nothing to mess around with.

KittyMack 13

Sunday 30 June 2019 20:33

"Somehow" passed out? As in you weren't just overtired or something, you have no idea why it happened? Yowzers I do not like the sound of that. I hope you figure it out quickly and easily, and it is nothing too dangerous.