Work: Today, after I had finished vacuuming, I ripped the cord out...

By Clutz - 25/10/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, after I had finished vacuuming, I ripped the cord out of the outlet and it hit me in the face cutting both my top and bottom lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 418

You deserved it 35 884

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Same thing different taste

By ouch - 12/12/2009 20:36 - United States

Today, I finally finished vacuuming my downstairs. Instead of finding the wall outlet and unplugging the vacuum, I triumphantly tugged the cord from across the room to release the plug from the wall. It flew at me at top speed and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 941

You deserved it 41 947

Proper job

By So so close to clean - 08/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Warren

Today, with words of encouragement from my mom, I vacuumed my room. After finishing and admiring my job well done, I went to put the vacuum away. It caught on the plug for my electric razor which was dangling below the dresser and yanked that and everything else that was on top of it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 406

You deserved it 1 288

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 16:57 - United States

Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 561

You deserved it 13 133

By tikizombie - 30/08/2010 20:10 - Canada

Today, I was moving out of my old place. While walking around to make sure I would get my damage deposit back, I stepped on my roommate's lipstick and smeared it all over the white carpet. Then, I tripped on the phone cord and ripped the whole thing out of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 201

You deserved it 8 395

Night fight

By FistFighter - 09/04/2011 04:01 - United States

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 931

You deserved it 12 963

Accidents will happen

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 007

You deserved it 9 304

By Anonymous - 25/07/2015 04:20 - United States - Tempe

Today, after vacuuming, I struggled to pull the nozzle attachment out. I yanked it too hard and it flew out, hitting me in the face and causing my head to jerk back into the wall behind me. My girlfriend had to drive me to the hospital for my concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 295

You deserved it 3 303

Self report

By Bonk - 04/02/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, my clumsiness reached a whole level when I hit myself in the face with a hammer hard enough for blood to come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 180

By BloodyNoseMcgee - 11/10/2018 15:30

Today, I dropped some glass at my job while putting it on the shelf. A shard bounced off the floor and went up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 988

You deserved it 181

Rude awakening

By oww - 15/11/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part? My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 248

You deserved it 3 394

xCrackerx 3

Sunday 25 October 2009 9:25

You're the kind of person who forced McDonalds to put WARNING: HOT on every cup of coffee.

xshyguyx 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 8:41

next time don't yank the cord, lesson learned

Comments

ItsAshxD 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 8:39

Ouch. D:

cassdede 0

Monday 1 March 2010 5:12

that just made my day

xshyguyx 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 8:41

next time don't yank the cord, lesson learned

Itsu_fml 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 8:47

Oh dude I've done that but it cut my cheek. That was a fun one. DX

DuhthatsObvious 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 12:33

You suck as much as OP's vacuum.

HamsteronA 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 18:02

^^^^ win!

owlcityislove 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 8:48

PWNED.. sorry.. that sucks.. :/

MagicMeds 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 8:55

"So what?" button please!

onlysoph 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 8:58

Why? I'd say cutting your lip open counts as an FML

anniemarie 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 9:03

haha so..that's kinda like today, I got a papercut. FML no one really cares...

prettyboy82 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 9:19

You shouldn't be a moron and yank a cord out! Common sense says it's coming back to where it was yanked from, in this case right toward YOU!

xCrackerx 3

Sunday 25 October 2009 9:25

You're the kind of person who forced McDonalds to put WARNING: HOT on every cup of coffee.

nyuu1234 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 9:26

Wow u hurt your lip who gives a crap

FerrariCake 2

Sunday 25 October 2009 9:29

Get a Roomba! It doesnt have a cord and it does the vacuuming for you!

Keywords

Work Awkward Haircut Mental health Health Neighbours Dating Weird Love Doctor Parenting Kids Christmas My ex Social Media Instagram Break-ups Sex Crush AITA Money Shopping Intimacy Anxiety Wanker DIY Relatable Cars Miscellaneous Weather

The Top

Today, I posted in the family group chat, asking if there would be plant-based food options for the Memorial Day barbecue, since I am vegan. All they sent were laughing emojis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 715

Today, I was messing with an AI art generator. As luck would have it, it generated a nasty NSFW image just as my mom happened to walk by, despite my prompt being 100% innocent. It was also just after I got a nice, wholesome result, so I was smiling at the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 389

The Top

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 235

You deserved it 6 544

Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 694

You deserved it 24 968

Today, it's my 18th birthday. As I moved out of home to study, and currently spend 95% of my wage on rent, I asked my mother for any amount of money as my gift. I desperately need new shoes and underwear, and haven't eaten for two days. Instead, I got a pair of earrings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 937

You deserved it 577

Today, I helped my parents move out of their old house. While I was guiding my dad down the stairs with the couch, my mom asked me to pick up the tape on the step below me. I bent over and grunted. My dad thought I said "Go" and kept moving. He knocked me down two flights of steps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 721

You deserved it 4 249

Today, my mom said, "I'm sorry your life is such shit." She meant it as an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 972

You deserved it 1 357

Today, my sister shot my dog with my airsoft gun. When I told my parents, she put on the fakest sobbing I've ever heard, said she didn't even know how to use a gun, and that she saw me shoot my own dog. They believed her and think I need psychiatric help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 909

You deserved it 2 388