Intimacy: Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body...

By fml - 07/03/2010 15:46 - United States

Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 694

You deserved it 24 968

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Same thing different taste

Desperate

By yourmainman - 28/01/2013 05:03 - Canada

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 918

You deserved it 15 959

By hannah12345 - 26/02/2010 17:54 - France

Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 812

You deserved it 31 848

By Rowden - 26/04/2010 09:58 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't lick the whipped cream I had on my nipples because "That stuff is full of calories." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 281

You deserved it 9 628

By Ashley - 07/09/2010 16:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when my 4 year old sister walked in. She thought we were making a dog pile, so just as soon as my boyfriend was about to finish, she jumped on his back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 566

You deserved it 25 272

Yummy

By Anonymous - 22/01/2024 20:00 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend brought home some expensive ice cream and we licked it off of each other. It was fun until we learned that dried ice cream on skin smells almost exactly like puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 280

By skiittlez713 - 20/05/2011 08:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 301

You deserved it 16 564

By welted - 01/01/2010 05:21 - Canada

Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 211

You deserved it 4 235

By Anonymous - 13/11/2012 10:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 886

You deserved it 2 431

No kinkshaming here

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 04:37 - United States - Northridge

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 089

You deserved it 5 776

By kahemae44 - 27/10/2009 10:20 - United States

Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 414

You deserved it 5 559

BrookeTrueblood 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 20:09

Why the hell would you do that with a 9 year old in the house?

MzRabbit 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 20:07

ever heard of locked doors?? or u like traumatizing your younger sister at such a young age!

Comments

benen 0

Monday 8 March 2010 0:37

9? how old r u?

ILoveMyLifeSoMuc 0

Monday 8 March 2010 0:49

LMAO

Jackiess22 0

Monday 8 March 2010 1:37

How hard is it to lock a damn door?

SanadB 0

Monday 8 March 2010 1:41

at least she didn't want to eat some whipped cream

KaylynKicks 0

Monday 8 March 2010 1:51

oh well the kid is bein educated at a young age. take her out for some ice cream after ur done lol

_Sorry_ 0

Monday 8 March 2010 2:23

F the 9 year old's life, she's probably never going to want to eat or see whipped cream again..

ikillufoo27 0

Monday 8 March 2010 2:40

u shood hav licked her boobs and ****** her real good

sexyblonde78 0

Monday 8 March 2010 2:48

damn! does NO ONE on FML have a lock on their door!?!?!?

kimikolovesyouu 0

Monday 8 March 2010 3:36

Smooth.

prettygirl_16 0

Monday 8 March 2010 4:12

why would u even do that if other people were home ydi

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Today, my parents scoured my browser history, certain that I have a hidden Facebook account that I'm using to get up to no good. Their reasoning was that there's no way my only friends are my relatives and that all I can post about is about the weather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 352

You deserved it 7 430

Today, I had a great leg workout at the gym. Instead of doing my cool down exercise at the end, I decided I wanted to do something more adventurous, like box jumps on one of those metal stools at the gym. Well, it turns out my body wasn’t ready for that. Now my shin is busted and swollen. This is my second week training. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 1 032

The Top

Today, I got the guts to call my dad for the first time in nine years. He said he "almost didn't remember" he "had another daughter." Another? FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 847

You deserved it 3 747

Today, I had an unexpected sneezing fit and drove my car through 2 trees and a fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 245

Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 890

You deserved it 3 558

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said, "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 563

You deserved it 90 888

Today, I'm so broke that I hand-washed my socks with a bar of soap that I stole from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 446

You deserved it 3 110

Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 243

You deserved it 4 315

Same thing different taste

Desperate

Yummy

No kinkshaming here

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