Work: Today, I have a huge meeting with the big executives of the company...

By wtf_fml_0609 - 01/11/2010 16:43 - United States

Today, I have a huge meeting with the big executives of the company I work at. I have to be there in 10 minutes. I'm stuck on the toilet with the runs because I thought it would be a good idea to eat hot chicken wings last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 568

You deserved it 26 085

World Environment Day : Green and Vaudevilles
Stories where love for the planet meets situations that are as green as they are funny! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Walk, don't run

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 03:00 - Finland

Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 100

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 013

You deserved it 5 393

By Anonymous - 06/07/2019 16:00

Today, I was hit with a sudden urge to shit. I knew it was going to be a bad one, so I ran out of the meeting. I made it to the toilet in time, but I forgot to lift the lid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 556

You deserved it 628

Lava

By not_fakingit - 22/09/2013 04:26 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 559

You deserved it 11 247

My guts hate my guts

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and a few coworkers when my stomach started growling. It was nearly lunchtime and I guess I was hungry. I tried to play it off like it was just a passing rumble, but it wouldn't stop. Eventually, my boss asked if I needed to use the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 99

By bob the builder - 08/11/2012 14:36 - United States - Ridgeland

Today, I'm at work on a construction site for a high rise building, on the 12th floor today. I've developed a severe case of the runs, causing me to need to rush to the nearest toilet periodically. Luckily for me it's conveniently located on the ground floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 393

You deserved it 1 736

By phonesnshit - 29/05/2010 04:04 - Canada

Today, I was expecting a very important work call. Today was also the day I got insuppressible diarrhea. As I was running to the washroom, the phone rang. I didn't make it to the washroom or the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 196

You deserved it 3 487

By Wow - 23/12/2018 16:00

Today, I have a job interview after months of struggling to find work. I also woke up with explosive diarrhea and can’t be away from the toilet for more than 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 623

You deserved it 147

By missbutthole - 04/06/2011 13:07 - United States

Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 702

You deserved it 3 884

Squeezed one out

By harris - 25/06/2021 02:00

Today, I was desperate for the toilet when I got stopped by our CEO for a chat about a project I made a ton of profit on. I was so close to disaster that when she pulled me in for a hug I wasn’t expecting, it happened. Diarrhoea down my legs and shoes. I practically made the CEO vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 320

You deserved it 205

dantheman123 0

Monday 1 November 2010 22:52

well stop writing fmls and hurry up!

MizzHearts 0

Monday 1 November 2010 23:00

he deserves this, why? because he ate chicken wings? people who rate this.. have problems

Comments

Unbeatable 0

Monday 1 November 2010 22:48

haha

SmallTownCutie 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 1:15

buy a pack of adult diapers on your way there. problem solved.

Thin_Ice_fml 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 1:35

I love hot wings. I can see why you couldn't resist it.

humzizzl3 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 16:58

welll you prob wasted 5 mins writing this fml, hurry the hell up diarhea boy

RacistPancake 6

Monday 19 September 2011 14:27

Having a sensitive stomach sucks.

thrAsHeRr9081 16

Monday 1 November 2010 22:50

ahahahahahah

dantheman123 0

Monday 1 November 2010 22:52

well stop writing fmls and hurry up!

Sportsfan86 3

Tuesday 2 November 2010 1:56

exactly what I was thinking.

BakNBitz 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 3:57

do a Power Shit

BigZadii 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 15:06

spirit bomb <_<

justsayfuck 5

Monday 1 November 2010 22:53

Take a Rennie?

FYLDeep 25

Monday 1 November 2010 22:55

Diaper time.

eternalsunlight 5

Tuesday 2 November 2010 14:28

Or time to buy some medicine which stops things from moving

JBChristian 47

Thursday 1 September 2016 17:46

That's gonna stop it in ten minutes, it sure will!

Justforlolz 14

Monday 1 November 2010 22:59

It hurts just thinking about it!!! Aghhhhhh!!! No seriously, I don't know what to say...

MizzHearts 0

Monday 1 November 2010 23:00

he deserves this, why? because he ate chicken wings? people who rate this.. have problems

talb1 7

Tuesday 2 November 2010 4:00

it's a she...

JBChristian 47

Thursday 1 September 2016 17:44

#7, one deserves anything that's foreseeable and you don't prevent it from happening.

machiko_fml 0

Monday 1 November 2010 23:06

Just call in sick next time. :3

JBChristian 47

Thursday 1 September 2016 17:48

Life doesn't work exactly that way in the executive world. You can do it but it won't leave a positive impression on partners and clients.

mattman1994 0

Monday 1 November 2010 23:08

Hot wings are the best. Until they come out the other end and you have to wipe your ass with a fire extinguisher.

sirbrainiac 2

Tuesday 2 November 2010 3:49

awesome comment

Action_Bastard 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 5:29

lmao win^[1000]

Fortuitous 0

Monday 1 November 2010 23:11

Concerning the meeting, you could just wing it.

skyttlz 32

Tuesday 2 November 2010 2:04

Lol I get it.

Keywords

Work Embarrassing Anxiety Relatable Restaurants Birthday Clothes Miscellaneous Shopping Cleaning Awkward Haircut Family Mental health Health Neighbours Dating Weird Love Doctor Kids Parenting Christmas My ex Social Media Instagram Break-ups Sex Crush AITA

The Top

Today, this might sound silly, but would you like to know what I think is the absolute worst time to get an uncontrollable boner? I'll tell you: While a female doctor is examining your privates. I swear, if there's anything more embarrassing than that, I'd like to know, because I'm still mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 87

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex. I was on top and really into it but in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said, "Huh, look at the time, I gotta get home." She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 688

You deserved it 17 884

The Top

Today, at work I was talking to a co-worker about what a slacker my manager was, and how all she did was stand around and talk. She was standing behind me the whole time. I now have sore nuts due to a direct hit from a broom handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 303

You deserved it 35 025

Today, I've been broke for so long that I felt a pang of envy when a character in a movie said that that they'd bought a tiny cup from a gift shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 146

Today, after several hours of trying to get my triplet daughters to go to bed, they finally fell asleep. Exhausted, I went to the bathroom so I could go to bed. Not thinking about it, I dropped the toilet seat down rather loudly and flushed the toilet. All three girls woke up crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 606

You deserved it 27 507

Today, I had to have a serious talk with my new girlfriend about her terrible hygiene. In the two weeks we’ve been dating, she admitted to only having showered "once or twice." She doesn’t see a problem with this, even though the first (and last) time she came to my place, she smelled like death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 463

You deserved it 260

Today, my intern was given his own office. I have been asking to move out of my cubicle for nearly four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 478

You deserved it 2 291

Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working, I was required to stop eating, and drink a bunch of foul tasting 'goo', which will in turn give me constant diarrhea. This will then prepare me nicely for the long tube with a camera on the end of which will be shoved up my rectum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 414

You deserved it 3 806

Same thing different taste

Walk, don't run

Lava

My guts hate my guts

Squeezed one out

Top comments

Comments