Miscellaneous: Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to...

By Anonymous - 03/02/2010 20:04 - United States

Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 421

You deserved it 2 927

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Same thing different taste

Busted

By Anonymous - 27/05/2016 19:09 - United States - Lady Lake

Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was OK, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 798

You deserved it 7 227

By Anonymous - 09/05/2012 01:59 - United States - South Salem

Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 077

You deserved it 9 580

By Shone - 15/04/2012 23:39 - Canada - Grand Forks

Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 711

You deserved it 3 848

By Diana - 13/08/2010 01:06 - United States

Today, I was showing my three year-old that going down the deck steps are perfectly safe. At the top, I tripped on my shoe and fell head first down every step. I now have five stitches and a three year old who won't go anywhere near the deck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 589

You deserved it 8 231

By fml - 04/01/2010 03:50 - Canada

Today, I walked to the end of my driveway to pick up the newspaper. I read the front page that was talking about people who have been getting hurt from slipping on ice. Laughing about that thought and walking up my driveway, I slipped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 834

You deserved it 34 844

Brained

By Qwizzyk - 24/04/2024 17:00 - Russia - Tula

Today, I was riding my scooter at a skate park. I was wearing a helmet, but I got hot, so I took it off. Within the next minute, I fell off my scooter and cut my head open. I had to get four stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 669

By SnowyConcussion - 23/12/2009 14:30 - United States

Today, after spending the past 4 days asking both my husband and my father-in-law to salt our sidewalk, I slipped on the ice. I hit my head on our concrete stairs. While holding ice on my head, my father-in-law pats my head and says "I'll go get some salt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 913

You deserved it 9 026

By WestboroBC - 03/02/2009 22:56 - United States

Today, I walked in the snow and saw some kid slip. I laughed and felt good about myself. Then I fell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 434

You deserved it 72 404

By Clumsy Clumsy - 16/04/2016 16:27 - Canada - Spruce Grove

Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 483

You deserved it 3 242

By Triple F - 07/03/2009 17:16 - United States

Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 188

You deserved it 40 318

Callyn 47

Thursday 4 February 2010 1:05

So how long is he grounded for? I hope he didn't get away with it.

swaneh 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 0:59

Sounds like a kid with a unique sense of humor. He has my respect.

Comments

snafu57 1

Thursday 4 February 2010 1:46

take some vaginal lube and cover the bottom of the tub before he gets in there to shower. dishwashing liquid (clear) will work as a distant second

snafu57 1

Thursday 4 February 2010 1:48

#12thank you, Mr President.

zombieboy_fml 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 1:52

Not only would that kid be paying for the stiches, but also doing yard work/cleaning intil he's 30

jamieboy11 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 1:54

smart kid lol

mrjohnz 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 1:55

the kid just produced an epic win, in my book.

lobbyskids2 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 2:08

glad I'm not American. in the uk it's all free :-D

EDRN 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 2:46

yea, heaven forbid if you need diagnostic testing, such as an MRI. you'll die waiting for it.

Wolfman_Paladin 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 3:05

lol. ya id much rather pay for my tests and get them when i need them, not ten years later

arabianhorse1234 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 2:08

Although that does suck, I'm kinda tempted to say YDI for not noticing the ice.

kaykay25 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 2:09

wow thts a bad joke

kelleyb323 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 2:24

you deserve it for not keeping an eye on your kid. plus you obviously didn't raise him well if he thinks it's funny when you get hurt.

rosea888 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 2:56

haha pranks gone bad are ****** hilarious! sometimes..... lmao

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The Top

Today, I got out of bed, soaked up the beautiful sunlight, and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. I saw my dad rummaging through the fridge, shirtless and one ball poking through his underwear. I needed to see that about as much as I need ass cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 991

You deserved it 2 609

Today, it's the third night in a row that I have had a sexual dream involving another woman. I'm married and when I tried talking to my husband about pleasing me better, he told me he doesn't want to go down on me because it makes him nervous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 565

You deserved it 367

The Top

Today, my boss gave me attitude for not going to back to work this Friday. I'm a massage therapist and where I live, it's currently illegal to practice during the pandemic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 702

You deserved it 156

Today, after a fire alarm went off, everyone was going back into the building. I had never gone up the stairs before because I live on the 9th floor. As everybody was going back inside, I followed some guys right into their suite on the 1st floor, thinking it was the way to the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 981

You deserved it 29 454

Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 838

You deserved it 134

Today, my grandma called me to see how my oral surgery went. She gave me a kiss over the phone, but when I tried to make the kiss sound back to her, the bandages got in the way and it came out as a fart sound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 141

Today, after years struggling with obesity, alcoholism, and mental illness, I finally decided I'd fixed myself up enough to try dating. The first girl I went out with said, "You're 31 and you've never dated? Sorry to break it to you, but nobody's going to want to walk a 31-year-old through Dating 101." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 319

You deserved it 186

Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 537

You deserved it 5 815

Same thing different taste

Busted

Brained

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