Kids: Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating...

By nutsucker - 08/03/2009 19:08 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 517

You deserved it 10 860

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Lisaa918 - 10/06/2009 14:49 - United States

Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 191

You deserved it 6 183

By Anonymous - 30/09/2009 15:39 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my boss's kids. I brought chocolate for them and the youngest said he had never had chocolate and didn't want any. I told him he should always try new things and should eat it. He did. He's allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 414

You deserved it 42 031

By tenthousandspoon - 13/09/2010 00:08 - New Zealand

Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 835

You deserved it 3 048

By Grant - 11/01/2013 00:51 - United States

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 755

You deserved it 3 103

Bad babysitter

By cantprovenothing - 18/04/2014 21:31 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 621

You deserved it 48 824

By nutrigrain123 - 23/05/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 552

You deserved it 27 563

By ManchotDesAndes - 26/02/2015 07:35 - France - Bezons

Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 298

You deserved it 11 164

Gummy

By madeleine - 08/04/2021 05:00

Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 670

You deserved it 287

By thatoneguy - 05/09/2011 20:23 - United States

Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 453

You deserved it 3 464

By Aliya - 01/03/2009 14:14 - United States

Today, I was eating nacho chips with my nieces when I started to feel that some were wet. I look at my niece and notice she was sucking on the chips, and putting them back in the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 276

You deserved it 6 935

Mark_Power 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:04

LMFAO THAT'S HILARIOUS.

TheBigDawg 8

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:05

I reeeeeeeeally hope they asked you to explain right away...lol

Comments

Mark_Power 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:04

LMFAO THAT'S HILARIOUS.

tofuzoo52 0

Monday 8 March 2010 17:02

agreed

nollid7 5

Thursday 18 August 2011 4:32

That's what you get you perv

COURT_KING 14

Monday 19 October 2015 16:57

Please explain to me how that makes OP a perv

TheBigDawg 8

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:05

I reeeeeeeeally hope they asked you to explain right away...lol

ZING_MASTER 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:07

I'm totally NUTS for that ZING!!!

Sunako_fml 9

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:08

LOL! i hope you cleared up that misunderstanding..

jake_fml 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:09

the real surprize? she really is preg-goes

th3wh1tee 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:10

That is going to be an awkward next day at school for her.

may_cause_fail 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:32

XD How did you not see that that could happen? Hilarious though.

StarFoxy2010 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:35

haha. You made my day. Thank you. =)

FeelMuchBetter 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:37

Sorry, calling BS on this one

PureGold 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:50

hahaha, I hope her parents bought your explanation xD

stickynachos 0

Friday 22 October 2010 3:36

Threadless FTW.

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I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 4

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Today, I was cleaning out the garage and found one of my old science fair projects. It was disqualified for outside help and cheating. I didn't do either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 73

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I agree, your life sucks 4 484

You deserved it 294

Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 932

You deserved it 6 048

Today, I walked in the house as though I was coming home from work on a normal day, fully clothed and carrying my work bag, but somehow my dad still knew I hadn’t been to work, but was in fact doing the evening version of the walk of shame, after spending all day in bed with my booty call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 1 158

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I agree, your life sucks 2 543

You deserved it 337

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I agree, your life sucks 11 861

You deserved it 783

Same thing different taste

Bad babysitter

Gummy

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