Health and Painful: Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a... - FML

By Modeon123 - 20/10/2016 10:11 - Korea, Republic of - Seoul

Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right inside my mouth. My tongue got stung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 469

You deserved it 1 163

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Same thing different taste

Clogged

By ISmellBread - 15/12/2023 05:00 - United States - Cabot

Today, I was quickly eating lunch during a work meeting. I ended up inhaling some of my sandwich so I've had toast stuck in my sinuses for the last hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 246

Happy meal

By ollierocks96 - 17/12/2009 21:43 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 551

You deserved it 3 023

By Username - 25/05/2010 12:32 - France

Today, my friend bet everyone at my lunch table that no one could catch the fly that was flying around our table. I reached up and caught it. It was a wasp, and it stung me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 099

You deserved it 36 194

By markzar - 05/05/2012 07:19 - United States - Amherst

Today, I had food poisoning. When I was finally able to drag myself to the kitchen for some Gatorade, I got stung by a wasp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 742

You deserved it 2 322

By jess - 07/03/2010 14:08 - South Africa

Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 023

You deserved it 4 683

RIP

By funnnyyyyy -_- - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Nepal - Kathmandu

Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked, I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 228

You deserved it 6 713

buys case of Listerine

By Sick Guy - 24/03/2018 20:30 - United States - Boynton Beach

Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 936

You deserved it 350

By lyinginbed - 04/06/2016 19:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking through a field with my boyfriend and he picked me some pretty flowers. I hugged him and leant in to sniff them. In doing so, I inhaled a bee up my nose and had to force it out my swollen nostril after it had stung me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 327

You deserved it 1 179

Panic on the streets of…

By Anstice - 05/10/2009 03:07 - United States

Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 647

You deserved it 15 544

By jelrid - 13/07/2016 04:38 - United States - Holt

Today, my worst fears were realized as an insect pinged off the back of my mouth while I was singing along to the radio on my motorcycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 922

You deserved it 3 953

Next

Top comments

Tripartita 44

Thursday 20 October 2016 17:24

"Today, I witnessed a predator devouring what I thought was my hive's larval population, so I took it upon myself to defend the queen's honor and attacked. I nearly got eaten. Protecting rice. FML"

WCARlover 34

Thursday 20 October 2016 17:03

I'm sorry OP but if you want honey on your rice that's not the best way to go about it

Comments

WCARlover 34

Thursday 20 October 2016 17:03

I'm sorry OP but if you want honey on your rice that's not the best way to go about it

stingray112 24

Thursday 20 October 2016 17:07

Just eat through your nose next time

FalloutScrolls 25

Thursday 20 October 2016 17:09

Hope you bit down and exacted your revenge. It actually would have been merciful, granting it a quicker death like that.

stevenJB 25

Thursday 20 October 2016 17:12

Gotta get your protein one way or the other!

species4872 19

Thursday 20 October 2016 17:13

I'm home honey!

Tripartita 44

Thursday 20 October 2016 17:24

"Today, I witnessed a predator devouring what I thought was my hive's larval population, so I took it upon myself to defend the queen's honor and attacked. I nearly got eaten. Protecting rice. FML"

sungrays 16

Thursday 20 October 2016 19:36

Plus he would've died, right? From stinging something. So it's ghost bee writing the fml.

MasterTron 24

Thursday 20 October 2016 21:19

She. Some where around 90% of a hive is female

ShadowWyvern666 16

Thursday 20 October 2016 22:52

Very few bees die from stinging something, it's mainly just bumblebees.

buttcrackles 9

Friday 21 October 2016 16:10

#17 Feel free to read the FML again.

el_Jeffe_D 11

Thursday 20 October 2016 17:24

I guess the phrase "Bites without a sting" doesn't apply to you.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 20 October 2016 18:02

Are you sure it wasn't sriracha sauce? That shit is hot!

Alup132 22

Friday 21 October 2016 1:49

It's not very hot, actually.

MidnaLink 33

Friday 21 October 2016 4:30

I had Sriracha when Subway was doing the Hunger Games promo. It may depend on you but it was kinda there.

Yourheadache 19

Thursday 20 October 2016 19:13

hope you ate the ************ too, lol!

olpally 32

Thursday 20 October 2016 19:30

I'm cringing at the mental image of this. Ouch!

Keywords

Haircut Awkward Work Neighbours Health Mental health Love Weird Dating Doctor Christmas Kids Parenting My ex Instagram Social Media Break-ups Crush Sex Shopping Money AITA Anxiety Intimacy Wanker DIY Relatable Weather Miscellaneous Cars

The Top

Today, I've known for a while that my cat can sense when I'm not feeling good, as she gets more clingy than usual. I've been a bit under the weather as of late, not really sick, but just a little off, and she keeps meowing nonstop and refuses to leave me alone for any reason whatsoever. I'm honestly very concerned now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 97

Today, I installed a doggie door at my wife’s grandmother’s house. I was putting the door back on the hinges when I realized I had put it at the very top of the door instead of the bottom. I’m now trying to turn this hole into a window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 2 742

The Top

Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 596

You deserved it 15 782

Today, after my wife broke my heart years ago when she cheated, I then met my sexual ying, and developed a napalm relationship, but she lost her marriage and relies on me for everything. So now I have FOUR human beings relying on me. Nobody should say anything but I deserved it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 1 479

Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 976

You deserved it 3 447

Today, I was told that I will be a father in 2 months. I had a one night stand about 7 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 2 084

Today, I faced my fears. I've always had a weird fear of looking out of windows at night, afraid a face would suddenly appear. When I heard a strange noise outside, I looked out the window. Sure enough, the face of a man suddenly appeared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 439

You deserved it 2 029

Today, I found out that when my now ex-fiance said he “needs time to think about it” when he got cold feet at our wedding, he meant he needed time to screw his hot young coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 74