Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked...

By Anonymous - 25/05/2010 23:33 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was "Nice Weather?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 808

You deserved it 39 763

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Same thing different taste

Smack my bitch up

By Anonymous - 02/06/2023 01:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I got naked after coming home. It's super hot where I live and I wanted to cool down before getting dressed again. As I was standing there, minding my own business, the cat I'm pet-sitting for a friend reached up and clawed me on the vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 224

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 21:18 - United States

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 787

You deserved it 12 892

By idiot says pussy - 21/01/2014 17:43 - United States

Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 392

You deserved it 7 937

By littlespoon - 04/02/2010 08:40 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 453

You deserved it 3 561

By "baow" - 17/03/2019 16:00 - Sweden

Today, I met this girl and we ended up having sex at her place. She decided to give me some head underneath the cover, it really was great until her Garfield sized cat decided to jump on her head and make her choke on it. Guess who got kicked out in the middle of the night for being too reckless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 143

You deserved it 335

By Anonymous - 04/09/2017 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I slept naked after a great night together. I awoke to a sharp pain in my penis and found our cat trying a new scratching post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 131

You deserved it 474

Say sorry to Mr Whiskers!

By Anonymous - 10/05/2021 14:01

Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 284

By Katrina - 13/02/2011 22:32 - United States

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 594

You deserved it 9 568

By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 20:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 583

You deserved it 6 492

Get back here!

By catgirl911 - 13/10/2009 01:44 - United States

Today, I woke up to see my cat crawling out my window onto the roof. Afraid he was going to jump to the ground, I crawled out my window as well. I caught him. The neighbors caught me in my underwear and bra yelling at my cat on the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 187

You deserved it 25 150

nateypooo 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:06

that really sucks.cat=$500 gf=$1000 gfs parents seeing u naked with the cat= priceless

irish_love 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:06

wow.. you are not very smart.. why would you run outside naked in the first place?! why not dress first? your not even at your own home!!

Comments

Lisa89 3

Wednesday 26 May 2010 13:01

Did she not care to mention her parents were at home too? People never learn...

Implusive_talker 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 13:05

lol YDI

Invioletlight 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 13:09

Dumb.

WYlacrossegirl7 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 13:24

there's a guy in my school that had sex with a cat, we call him geoff meowers (: I know OP didn't have sex with a cat, I'm just saying (:

ladidalisa 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 13:41

that's very very disturbing.

perdix 29

Wednesday 26 May 2010 13:46

Mom looked at your "junk" and replied, "No, it's cold and clammy." And Dad added, "And it's not going to 'rain' for a long, long time. Looks like you're in for an extended drought."