Healthy Lifestyle, Embarrassing, Painful and Health: Watch out!

Watch out!

By FlyLikeABird - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I learned how birds feel when they fly into windows. I should be getting the hospital bill for my broken nose in the mail soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 896

You deserved it 4 431

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Guilty

By jamienicole1993 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Savannah

Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 915

You deserved it 3 336

Freak out

By zAstonish - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 250

You deserved it 4 192

I was right all along

By 3peeps - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 809

You deserved it 4 049

You were warned

By kko - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a man next to me was feeding the birds when he ran out of food. We were at Adventure Island and there were "Do not feed the birds" signs everywhere. The birds then became aggressive and started savaging the both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 664

You deserved it 4 880

Say it, don't spray it

By ... - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 919

You deserved it 2 290

I'm OK!

By MAC. - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 440

You deserved it 6 023

Customer of the day

By oped01 - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Cape Coral

Today, in a department store, a woman with a parrot sitting on her shoulder was trying to return a coffee maker. She explained that she had to return the coffee maker because the bird didn't like it sitting on the kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 385

You deserved it 1 061

Right back!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 400

You deserved it 908

By Ohwhy - 27/10/2012 11:53 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 483

You deserved it 2 082

By "ztodaro" - 30/06/2017 20:00

Today, while I was inside a store, I heard a crash. Of course I ignored it because my car was parked. I paid for my items and walked out to see this. Nobody else was around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 889

You deserved it 291

PenguinBitch 43

Monday 17 November 2014 10:12

*two crows laugh nearby*

LiveLifeAllDay 11

Monday 17 November 2014 9:49

I'm usually nice about this but I would have loved to see this happen

Comments

LifeMD 14

Monday 17 November 2014 9:46

Don't worry OP, I've had something similar happen to me. If you're a bird, I'm a bird.

ihaveasushicat 24

Monday 17 November 2014 9:46

Did you leave a face print on the glass like birds usually do?

Ohshitdude 21

Monday 17 November 2014 9:49

Were you at least drunk?

LiveLifeAllDay 11

Monday 17 November 2014 9:49

I'm usually nice about this but I would have loved to see this happen

scottyboy417 19

Monday 17 November 2014 9:58

I walked into a stop sign once face first. I feel your pain.

pjsr 32

Wednesday 13 December 2023 8:08

At least now you know the sign does what it says

devildog562 33

Monday 17 November 2014 9:59

Windex , birds and humans worse enemy. Hope you're okay op.

badluckalex 23

Monday 17 November 2014 10:16

spiders are #1

PenguinBitch 43

Monday 17 November 2014 10:12

*two crows laugh nearby*

SarahSehhati 40

Monday 17 November 2014 10:15

Let the sun shine through...Windex :)

bombielol 20

Monday 17 November 2014 10:34

ouch....

Stryker_13 19

Monday 17 November 2014 10:45

You flew into a window and broke your nose? That's quite a talent you have there xP are you sure you aren't part bird?

Keywords

Haircut Awkward Work Neighbours Health Mental health Love Weird Dating Doctor Christmas Kids Parenting My ex Instagram Social Media Break-ups Crush Sex Shopping Money AITA Anxiety Intimacy Wanker DIY Relatable Weather Miscellaneous Cars

The Top

Today, my husband’s dream has always been to have a big family. I however cannot physically or mentally handle having any more. He’s now threatening to hire a surrogate to continue pumping out babies for him. We already have 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 117

Today, I received an email from my insurance company about a claim that happened over a month ago when I hit someone from behind. I was very apologetic and stated it was my fault, and now they're trying to claim replacement vehicle costs. I was going under 10mph and their car only had a scratch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 726

You deserved it 492

The Top

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 002

You deserved it 4 479

Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. By a fish hook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 498

You deserved it 5 103

Today, I had sex with a guy on our third date. We'd just finished having sex and he was blatantly on Tinder right next to me in bed. I literally hadn’t moved yet and he still had a wet boner, and yet he was on Tinder looking for his next hookup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 296

Today, I got home from working at KFC and hopped straight into the shower. I could see that the water was being tinged yellow by the grease that had got plastered on me at work and was now coming off, so I started gagging and almost threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 792

You deserved it 204

Today, after battling for hours to get just a little sleep before my early morning work shift, I finally began drifting off. Then I got the worst attack of hiccups in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 688

You deserved it 2 823

Today, I encountered one of my professors from college. Back when I was in his game theory class, he publicly criticized me for falling asleep and not paying attention, to which I retaliated by acing all of his exams. Four years and a degree later, I met him again... while working at Pizza Hut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 795

You deserved it 12 828

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments