You ass!

By Anonymous - 20/05/2020 14:00

Today, my jerk of an ex messaged to apologize for dumping me two weeks ago. I took the high road and was overtly polite and friendly, hoping to end things civil. Our conversation ended when he casually mentioned he is moving in with his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 213

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By noname - 22/12/2008 11:54 - France

Today, I decide to go to my ex-girlfriend's house to bring her stuff back. I broke up with her earlier this week after a 2 year relationship, and I'd hoped she would have realized her mistake and ask me to stay for a bit and talk. I ring the doorbell and her new boyfriend opens the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 159

You deserved it 11 198

By Foster_Em - 04/07/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, I was coming home from a date, I saw my ex standing in my drive-way. He had dumped me 2 months ago saying he couldn't talk me. To make him jealous, I made out with my new guy before greeting him. Turns out he couldn't talk to me because he had had cancer and had been afraid to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 252

You deserved it 79 314

By Darkheaven - 17/11/2008 11:27 - France

Today, I was in an online chatroom speaking to this girl that I really hit it off with. She then confided in me that she'd recently been dumped by her boyfriend and that he was a jerk. A little while later, we exchanged photos. It was my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 469

You deserved it 9 480

Letting you know

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 21:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I felt like letting my ex know just how I felt about all the bullshit he put me through. I dug up his number, typed a long paragraph with lots of pain and emotion, and sent it. The reply was, "No wonder he broke up with you." Thanks, whoever has that number now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 512

You deserved it 46 518

By neverleavingthehouseagain - 08/12/2015 23:08 - United Kingdom - Epsom

Today, my ex, for whom I still have feelings, introduced me to his new girlfriend. To make things "less awkward," he invited a mutual friend of ours. However, the last time I'd seen this friend, it was a week after my ex and I had broke up, and we hooked up. Awkward doesn't cover it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 751

You deserved it 5 556

By thesporkhop - 25/01/2009 16:47 - United States

Today, I was going to end a thing I had with this guy. It turned out that he got back together with his ex-girlfriend and was just using me as a back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 081

You deserved it 4 092

Stuck on amber

By stuck - 19/09/2011 19:31 - United States

Today, I went to see my boyfriend with the intention of breaking up with him. Instead I discovered that he lost his job today and has to move back in with his parents. I can't bring myself to dump someone who's already crying about his horrible day. Now I have to comfort my soon-to-be ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 912

You deserved it 11 002

By Miki - 16/12/2012 23:57 - United States - Kenner

Today, after several years spent hung up on my ex, I was finally moving on. I was on a date with my new boyfriend when my ex walked past us. He broke down crying, got on his knees, and begged me to come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 631

You deserved it 4 042

By krissy - 20/03/2011 21:40 - United States

Today, I found out that the sleazy guy I met with a few days ago decided to move into my home town to "be closer" to me. I've already told him I'm not interested in him, but he still continues to ask me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 838

You deserved it 7 116

By xswitch74 - 16/03/2015 14:36 - United Kingdom

Today, my ex called me up to suggest that we become friends, only so that she could introduce me to her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 568

You deserved it 4 211

Jonkbaby 22

Wednesday 20 May 2020 15:06

In my opinion, it sounds like you dodged a bullet there

Roxy Rousseau 11

Wednesday 20 May 2020 15:38

Yikes, either you weren’t the main girlfriend, or their relationship is moving way to fast it’s sending warning signs.

Comments

Jonkbaby 22

Wednesday 20 May 2020 15:06

In my opinion, it sounds like you dodged a bullet there

Roxy Rousseau 11

Wednesday 20 May 2020 15:38

Yikes, either you weren’t the main girlfriend, or their relationship is moving way to fast it’s sending warning signs.

Kurliez408 32

Wednesday 20 May 2020 16:49

You're too good for him. Good for you.

lifeis4me 20

Wednesday 20 May 2020 20:19

Sounds like he has some issues if he’s messaging an ex about moving in with his new girlfriend.

Gina Marie Lombardi 14

Wednesday 20 May 2020 22:39

You should of blocked his number when he broke up with you

sickerthanyou 13

Sunday 24 May 2020 19:47

And that’s why it’s never a good idea to be polite and civil with an ex

Keywords

Management Work Geek Periods Health Dating Sexism Relationship advice Love Embarrassing Anxiety Relatable Birthday Restaurants Clothes Miscellaneous Shopping Cleaning Awkward Haircut Family Neighbours Mental health Weird Doctor Christmas Kids Parenting My ex Social Media

The Top

Today, my perfect princess sister is finally going to jail where she belongs. My parents, who doted on her while dumping shit on me, blame me for “being a bad influence and not talking to the judge on her behalf.” I’m a technical engineer; what influence do they think I have in a criminal court? FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 72

Today, I'm 36 and accidentally got pregnant with my FWB, a 28 year-old bartender. I told him and he broke down and admitted he’s actually only 19, an unemployed college dropout who lives with his parents. I didn’t believe it until I saw his driver's license, date of birth 2004. So much for child support… FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 883

The Top

Today, I was driving home from college when I saw a couple of sporty chicks jogging on the side of the road. I honked at them and yelled suggestively as I do at college, which usually gets a fun flirty reaction from college girls. It was my next-door neighbor and her 11 year old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 519

You deserved it 56 638

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. Apparently the medicines don't work on me. I woke up in the middle of the surgery and felt EVERYTHING. One of the nurses asked if I was okay, and the doctor just kept saying "Don't worry she's just dreaming", while tears were pouring down my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 400

You deserved it 2 601

Today, I discovered that the medicated eye drops I have been taking to fight a mild eye infection show up under black lights when I walked into a party and the whole left side of my face was glowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 135

You deserved it 3 787

Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 714

Today, I wanted my boyfriend to meet my parents. My mum introduced herself as, "I'm Petra. I'm completely normal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 008

You deserved it 2 078

Today, while shopping, I tried on a beautiful knee-length dress. It looked amazing and I decided to buy it, until the time came to take it off. A jammed zip meant 15 minutes of tugging before the manager cut me free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 555

You deserved it 349

You ass!

Same thing different taste

Letting you know

Stuck on amber

Top comments

Comments