Animals

OP here. Im so shocked I got posted. Just like to say my cousin was gone when it exploded and I was stung about 9 times. Overall it was very exciting being able to go outside and know something wanted your freaking soul. Those suckers will Hunt you down and rape your body with their asses

Home entertainment

By Reb - 10/06/2022 10:00

Today, my cat got out. I was chasing him in the field behind my backyard, barefoot while wearing PJs, yelling my head off like a raving lunatic. The field soil was sludge, and my feet sunk right in with every step. After I got him, I heard a snap of a soda can. My neighbours were there the whole time, watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 277

By AnRom - 17/12/2009 09:58 - United States

Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 607

You deserved it 43 951

Scaredy cat

By amazinghermit - 25/11/2014 04:21 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I spent an hour in my car terrified to go inside because I thought my house was being burgled. I saw rapid shadows in the light of my lounge. Eventually I plucked up the courage to creep inside with a rock to find it wasn't a robber. It was my cats, fighting in front of a toppled lamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 187

You deserved it 6 567

By why me - 29/06/2016 04:41 - United States - Milford

Today, I bought a brand new Wii U. My cat must have thought the wires looked tasty because he chewed through each of them, which will now cost me another $100. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 386

You deserved it 1 918

By jreed509 - 03/07/2011 05:25 - United States

Today, while riding a roller coaster I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough it somehow managed to survive and fell down my shirt. It crawled around and bit me a few times before the ride ended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 785

You deserved it 4 116

Cats rule the world

By Tony - 02/01/2021 08:01 - United States - Dearborn

Today, my geriatric cat apparently leaked a little before he got to the litter box because when I went to use the bathroom, I slipped on the puddle. My left foot slammed into the kick panel of the cabinet and now my second toe is purple, swollen and tender. I may have broken my toe by slipping on cat piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 137

'Cause you had a bad day, you're taking one down…

By Anonymous - 14/06/2022 05:00 - United States

Today, I tripped on my coffee table and fell face first into my cat's litter box. To make it even worse, my cat was in there doing his business and, pun not intended, I scared the shit out of him. He ran away terrified, then I tripped over HIM while I was going to take a shower. Today is not my day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 203

By CheeseMonsters - 24/01/2010 12:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 471

You deserved it 3 432

He was a very good boy

By Anonymous - 24/02/2016 17:58 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, my girlfriend made me a chocolate cake to try and cheer me after my dog died. My dog died because my dad fed him chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 315

You deserved it 1 892

Sexy boy

By Anonymous - 17/07/2013 11:56 - United States

Today, while visiting my grandparents, I used one of their blankets to keep warm. Later, I saw their dog getting busy with said blanket. When my grandparents saw my look of horror, they explained that he has "sexual relations" with the blanket every night. Thanks for telling me, guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 698

You deserved it 4 229

By Anonymous - 10/09/2010 02:09 - United States

Today, I was in my basement when I saw a giant cricket on the floor. I found an old plastic bottle of orange paint to drop on it and did so from about five feet up. The bottle exploded and splattered the walls and floor like a crime scene. The cricket hopped away untouched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 053

You deserved it 50 815

Mother nature's son

By Rita - 24/11/2021 01:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my son brought home a fawn, saying it’s his new pet. I objected and told him to put it back in the woods, because the mom deer must be worried. He threw a tantrum, told me to stop getting in the way of their "bond” and stormed off to his room with it. He’s 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 071

You deserved it 248

Slimed

By Hashtagfail - 04/08/2021 10:01 - Netherlands

Today, I went outside to feed the hedgehogs who often visit my garden. It was late in the evening and dark outside. I was walking barefoot, when I suddenly stepped on something. It felt soft and splashed apart under my foot. I looked and realized that I had stepped on a slug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 310

Who run the world? Cats!

By tease_ftx - 31/08/2017 13:00

Today, as I was laying down to sleep, I grabbed my covers and realized the cat pissed on them and on my body pillow. Now I'm up at 1 a.m. doing laundry so I can have clean bedding and my kids are awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 192

You deserved it 437

By 2k16 - 17/03/2016 02:48 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I came home to find that my dog had figured out how to open the fridge again. He'd helped himself to raw eggs and crab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 817

You deserved it 1 677

Impressive

By Anonymous - 18/01/2021 04:58

Today, a small fly was harassing my face, then it landed on a book next to me. I waved at it to make it leave, but it didn't. I got my fingers closer to it, to scare it off. Instead, it jumped on my finger as a playful parrot pet, spent a moment there, and flew off. I cannot even intimidate a fly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 197

Where did you guys come from?

By Brad - 04/07/2021 21:59 - United States

Today, I woke up to find two pitbulls viciously tearing up my couch. I have never owned a dog and I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 83

By VeganVampyre - 23/05/2015 17:07 - Canada - Clarenville

Today, my cat has decided she can't eat unless I'm right there with her, so when she gets hungry she finds me and howls until I follow her to her food dish. She likes to eat pretty frequently, and I'm already getting a headache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 241

You deserved it 3 923

VeganVampyre tells us more.

VeganVampyre 26

Sunday 24 May 2015 16:19

Hey everyone, OP here :) Just to clear a few things up, she is a street kitten that I just rescued about a week ago, and she had been attacked and beaten up by other cats quite a few times when she was out on the streets, so I'm thinking this lovely new behaviour is either a) she feels safer having me "protect" her while she eats, or b) she's just realized it's really nice to have company nearby and she's taking advantage since she was always alone before. I'm sure she will grow out of it as she gets more comfortable and used to being here :) To the people saying I should control her food better- I feed her twice a day, but she prefers to graze rather finish it all at once. And since this is the healthier eating habit, I will not force her to change to a less healthy eating habit. To the people telling me to ignore her- can't do it. I'm so thrilled that she actually trusts me, and I feel so bad that she was on her own for so long that I can't bring myself to ignore her for any reason just yet. To all the other YDI comments- I rescued a gorgeous, friendly little kitty from a probably short and horrible life on the streets, being attacked by other cats, and in return I got a lovely cuddly companion. Do I deserve that? Absolutely. :)