Work, Mental health, Fire and Scary: Panic in the streets

Panic in the streets

By Insane Guy - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 622

You deserved it 8 046

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Same thing different taste

I hate myself

By trixanne - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Sydney

Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 713

You deserved it 3 904

Meritocracy

By blue - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was put on notice at work due to my "anger problem." Apparently, sighing in a meeting means you'll be labeled as someone with a short temper. However, the creepy stalker guy is on the fast track to management. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 944

You deserved it 3 189

Early warning

By Hreyes - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 010

You deserved it 2 215

Welcome back

By pixie_pix13 - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I came back to work after being out for a week. As I walked to the back of the store, I threw my hands up and yelled, "I'm back bitches". Right after I said it, I noticed my boss was behind me. I was then taken to the office and wrote up for foul language on my first day back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 3 400

Stoner in disguise

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Rowlett

Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 429

You deserved it 2 921

Dogsbody

By tee - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Kansas City

Today, I was told it was inconvenient for me to take lunch breaks, because someone else has to answer the phones and no one else wants to actually do any work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 885

You deserved it 2 013

Frostbite

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 524

You deserved it 41 838

Say it, don't spray it

By ... - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 921

You deserved it 2 290

This is mine now

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took my printer to work because the one in my office is broken. When I tried to leave, my boss stopped me and accused me of stealing it from the office. Nobody would believe me when I explained. Now my boss has a new printer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 220

You deserved it 6 792

Smoking is so cool

By Burnt - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 896

You deserved it 61 516

chris274 8

Friday 21 December 2012 13:09

Would that even help against a nuclear strike?

PlaiPie 11

Friday 21 December 2012 13:10

Well, when there is a real nuclear attack, you'll have the practice of diving under desks already mastered. And you'll be laughing at all your co-workers with your superior desking skills

Comments

jeff_757 5

Friday 21 December 2012 17:45

And make sure if the Vogons ever come to destroy the Earth to put in an interstellar bypass that you put a paper bag over your head.

Yousuck24 21

Friday 21 December 2012 17:50

It's a hit and miss thing really.

onorexveritas 23

Friday 21 December 2012 17:59

nuclear attack and your defense is a table...

gggreen 2

Friday 21 December 2012 18:18

Well the world IS ending tonight, so you're not crazy. (sarcasm)

SamanthaCassieL 10

Friday 21 December 2012 18:28

I was thinking... I'm pretty sure (correct me if I'm wrong) that a desk isn't going to protect you during a nuclear attack. if I am right, you might as well accept it and move on.. not saying it would be easy or something even I would do, but I'm throwing it out there.

ManInTheMachine 19

Friday 21 December 2012 18:41

I don't have much respect for somebody who can't be ****** to spell "meant" correctly.

panda_lou 11

Friday 21 December 2012 20:30

I know how you feel. The sound of the sirens give me the shivers.

joethebiden 8

Friday 21 December 2012 20:39

Good thinking. Makes it easier to collect your burn-out remains when you're curled up under a desk. On the other hand, we haven't got much people with whom to have a nuclear war lately. At least not one that is worth it.