Dogs, Relatable and Animals: The left hand, the right hand

The left hand, the right hand

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I was out walking my dog. I was throwing a stick in the lake so he could go get it (he loves swimming). A friend called me. After I was done calling, another friend came by, and we talked for a while. When my dog barked, I accidentally threw my iPhone into the water instead of his stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 827

You deserved it 42 489

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Not the smartest

By ugh Buck! - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 465

You deserved it 4 540

Second class citizen

By crapped on - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 549

You deserved it 4 255

The ending of Lost explained

By Morgan - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 858

You deserved it 30 044

Rewind time

By supersmashpika - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Hershey

Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 664

You deserved it 9 980

Caught off guard

By dooommage - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 378

You deserved it 15 346

Naughty girl

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took the dog for a 45 minute walk/jog. She sniffed everything on the ground like she always does. She marked her territory twice, then we finally got home. As soon as I took her off the leash inside, she ran to the kitchen and took a dump right on the kitchen mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 054

You deserved it 3 804

Bad boy

By Shiva - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 780

You deserved it 9 643

Red flag

By Kirby - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought, "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot?" Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 194

You deserved it 4 501

By Anonymous - 03/08/2016 18:01 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 240

You deserved it 1 253

Instant cure

By Username - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 572

You deserved it 4 942

null_fml 11

Thursday 26 August 2010 20:07

Did he bring it back?

amerwin 3

Thursday 26 August 2010 20:23

To bad there isn't an app for that.

Comments

amerwin 3

Thursday 26 August 2010 20:23

To bad there isn't an app for that.

FMLsOhilarious 6

Friday 27 August 2010 6:23

Lol @15. Win!

jctankk 0

Friday 27 August 2010 6:39

agreed! win

big_kuntry 0

Friday 27 August 2010 8:15

Epic win!! 15

Action_Bastard 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 20:31

Its ok as long as it wasn't a Droid phone. If it were then I would understand the loss of something valuable.

nobody_u_ko 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 20:39

considering he said his iPhone I'm thinking it probably wasn't a droid

ZleveL 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 21:15

19- agreed 100%

lotuspod 0

Friday 27 August 2010 0:08

I'm pretty sure he was just saying he's lucky it wasn't a droid cause it would suck if it was

taylor_bby100 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 20:33

Sorry but ydi. Should have payed more attention lol

TomasT 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 20:51

This was old...

Jessi_the_sexii 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 20:54

atleast he'll bring it back to you :D

l8trXb8tr 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 20:59

Sounds like a good idea to get rid of your iPwn, and upgrade to something that's truly customizable. FML, nah... more like a MAL (my awesome luck)

suffokateslowly 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 21:19

this fml has already been used like a month ago

tiffyxmac 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 21:27

that sucks ass ahahaha!

lookatyou 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 21:56

feel you on that one... got my iPhone 4 2 weeks ago and left it on the roof of my truck. Luckily it slid off into the trucks bed.

me_is_lala 2

Thursday 26 August 2010 22:05

haha sucks :(

Keywords

Transportation Cars Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Fire Kids Food Capitalism Money Clothes Miscellaneous AITA Thief Intimacy Health Birthday Death Sex Disability Abuse Love Camping Fish Vegan Holidays Ableism Geek Gamers

The Top

Today, feeling attractive, I got dressed up and took myself to a trendy bar to enjoy some cocktails. A muscular, handsome man approached me and we began to flirt. He recommended that we get a hotel room, which we did. After we had the most amazing sex of my life, he started to tell me his price. He was an escort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 938

You deserved it 563

Today, I am lying next to my new husband. We went to Hawaii for our honeymoon and planned on spending the entire time in bed together. We succeeded in that goal, with both of us unable to leave each other's side for entire week. Sex? No. Food poisoning? Yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 516

You deserved it 3 295

The Top

Today, I told my friends I had been hiding something that I wanted to come clean on. My one friend responds by saying, "FINALLY you come out of the closet. It's about time." I'm not gay. I was just going to tell them my parents were getting a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 695

You deserved it 4 742

Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 125

You deserved it 11 218

Today, my new boyfriend told me he has no interest in being a dad, never has, never will, so the first time I ask him for any sort of help with my son he’s out the door. I'd dump his ass, but my mum just died so I have nowhere to go, and literally cannot afford both rent and food without his wage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 645

Today, I showed up on set for a film that I booked a role in weeks ago. At the time of the audition, the script was being rewritten, so today I was so excited and eager to be told what my role would entail. When they handed me the script, my character was described as a fat, ugly, awkward girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 220

You deserved it 5 060

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 377

You deserved it 746

Another stand off, pick your fave!

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 124

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments