Miscellaneous: Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I got was a coupon for...

By michellenKG - 23/01/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I got was a coupon for a couples acupuncture session from my sister. I'm single and have an extreme fear of needles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 206

You deserved it 2 643

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Same thing different taste

Happy birthday

By Leah Magers - 27/03/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My birthday present was a pelvic exam, and not even the good kind of pelvic exam. Woo hoo! FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 89

Happy…

By Anonymous - 01/12/2010 23:02 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 373

You deserved it 3 547

By Anonymous - 18/08/2019 16:00 - United Kingdom - Thornbury

Today, the only "Happy birthday!" I got was from the cake I bought for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 879

You deserved it 152

By bannana0zoom - 03/03/2012 08:06 - Canada

Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 012

You deserved it 7 973

By Anonymous - 18/12/2010 05:21 - United States

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was from myself: a positive pregnancy test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 685

You deserved it 91 557

By dentistftw - 08/08/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, it's my 22nd birthday. The only person who remembered was the dentist who sent me a postcard in the mail. I stopped going to him four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 974

You deserved it 2 896

Thanks, I guess…

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 18:10 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 135

You deserved it 4 166

By oh well - 10/03/2015 13:27 - United States

Today, the only birthday present I got was a gift card to a steak house. Not a bad gift, but I'm a vegan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 800

You deserved it 8 433

By Kensie - 04/03/2009 21:48 - United States

Today, it is my twin sisters and my birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me pretty also. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 756

You deserved it 5 980

By Anonymous - 03/03/2011 14:21 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My parents, with whom I live, told me that they didn't get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 134

You deserved it 8 325

jellitonoctopus 19

Monday 23 January 2012 12:03

Needles to say you did not go, right?

Glitterhinoceros 14

Monday 23 January 2012 12:06

Needles have never been the same after that Final Destination movie...

Comments

BadassRumbleroar 4

Tuesday 24 January 2012 0:29

that sucks but at least she thought to give you something

moomoomeow2 7

Tuesday 24 January 2012 1:19

I hope your friends will give you better presents!

pajamaperson 4

Tuesday 24 January 2012 1:20

Happy birthday haha sorry about the gift

angel948 9

Tuesday 24 January 2012 2:07

Don't think she likes you very much. Ah, sibling rivalry.

xXCarnavasXx 8

Tuesday 24 January 2012 3:12

It's the thought that counts(:

xXCarnavasXx 8

Tuesday 24 January 2012 3:12

It's the thought that counts(:

lildrake 0

Tuesday 24 January 2012 3:44

I love needles

lildrake 0

Tuesday 24 January 2012 3:46

I love needles

coe08 6

Tuesday 24 January 2012 4:17

Happy birthday! :)?

danniru11 9

Tuesday 24 January 2012 4:34

Aww I'm really sorry :(. But happy birthday OP

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Today, I told my crush how I felt. He said, “Sorry, I don’t feel the same way. But you’re an amazing girl, and you deserve a guy who will treat you like a queen.” I asked him, “Well, why can’t you be that guy then?” He pretended to have a coughing fit and “suddenly remembered” he had to be somewhere and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 1 057

Today, I went on what I thought was a date. After a wonderful night with a perfect gentleman, he told me how excited he is that he's moving in with his girlfriend next week, and thanked me for reassuring him that he doesn't want anyone but her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 916

You deserved it 3 986

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Today, my dad snapped at me for assuming that Eminem was the one to come up with the phrase, “Will the real ___ please stand up?” since that was the only time I’ve heard it. Apparently, I “always assume things are modern”. So I asked him where in fact the phrase came from and guess what? He didn’t know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 183

Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year-old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year-old woman, to tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 686

You deserved it 8 575

Today, I saw my mom naked as she came out of the shower. I realized that's the first time I've ever seen a naked woman. I'm a 24 year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 943

You deserved it 13 564

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me over Facebook. Unfortunately, she "accidentally" posted it on my wall instead of sending me a message, so the whole world could see it. My mom liked her post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 249

You deserved it 3 911

Today, someone let my puppy escape. I didn't know, until I arrived home and hit him with my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 332

You deserved it 100

Today, I was scheduled to fill in at the customer service counter where I work. Today was also the day that I allegedly accused a customer of being a thief, sold her a fraudulent money order, and will be sued for defamation of character. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 043

You deserved it 1 808

Same thing different taste

Happy birthday

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