Love: Useful idiot - FML

Useful idiot

By taintedlover - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 460

You deserved it 7 688

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Same thing different taste

Timing is everything

By Anonymous - 27/01/2012 22:54 - France

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 970

You deserved it 3 401

By ClearOne - 12/05/2011 19:25 - United States

Today, I finally came to terms with the fact that my girlfriend considers me a glorified ATM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 654

You deserved it 31 980

By ...thanks - 07/09/2013 14:17 - United States

Today, my best friend confessed to me that she's a lesbian. She quickly added, "Oh, don't worry, I don't like you. You're not attractive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 681

You deserved it 4 880

By Anonymous - 10/08/2012 22:06 - Thailand - Bangkok

Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 510

You deserved it 4 965

By Anonymous - 17/04/2013 23:01 - United States - Bristol

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 219

You deserved it 5 168

By hahahawoww - 31/01/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, I discovered that my best friend of 3 years has me in her phone as "Stupid Bitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 476

You deserved it 4 459

No kinkshaming, but come on…

By nobody - 01/07/2023 00:02

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend's best friend started coming on to me. I was appalled, and told her she was a terrible friend. My girlfriend jumped out of nowhere and started crying. Apparently, her kink is watching her best friend and boyfriend fuck, and she's now mad I didn't go for it. What the fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 197

You deserved it 194

By .... - 24/12/2013 02:48 - United States - Modesto

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 064

You deserved it 3 725

By dumped - 27/10/2009 23:13 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's best friend was dumped, and was absolutely depressed. My girlfriend thought she'd show her sympathy by breaking up with me so they "could be single together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 829

You deserved it 2 796

By Anonymous - 28/03/2011 02:49 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years confessed that at first, she'd only dated me to get her friend jealous, and that even now, she "only kind of liked" me. I bought a ring only a few days ago, and was planning on proposing to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 930

You deserved it 4 135

Next

Top comments

harrypotter955 19

Wednesday 14 May 2014 1:39

1800-choke DAT hoe

The_Big_Boss 20

Wednesday 14 May 2014 1:39

She enjoys the sex.. So you've got that going for you, which is nice

Comments

nolifeatall 6

Wednesday 14 May 2014 6:03

how does it feel? welcome to a lady's life

SouthernLady12 13

Wednesday 14 May 2014 6:10

Honesty is a great quality however.

Eltobak 13

Wednesday 14 May 2014 6:18

Maby the 2 off u should just stop beeing in a relationship and change it to just lovers. Then atleast it wouldt be lies in it

SunTzu2 9

Wednesday 14 May 2014 6:35

Sounds like your best friend may be a better ***** sooner or later

pratikp03 22

Wednesday 14 May 2014 7:10

So...where exactly is the problem?

SpamPam 18

Wednesday 14 May 2014 7:16

Am I the only one considering that his best friend could be lying? Idk but it's possible. either way sorry Op :(

beckshniddley 10

Wednesday 14 May 2014 7:26

Probably saying he isn't bothered would hurt the most and getting with a nicer, and obviously more attractive girlfriend. That's what having exes is all about.

jlopez2150 6

Wednesday 14 May 2014 7:42

Do you vibrate?

geni310 10

Wednesday 14 May 2014 7:48

hope she's your ex now. let her buy a ***** & you get yourself a better girl.

Taylor22294 24

Wednesday 14 May 2014 9:26

Stop having sex with her. And completely stop showing her emotions. Everyone forgets how good things make them feel once they get used to it.

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The Top

Today, I'm 36 and accidentally got pregnant with my FWB, a 28 year-old bartender. I told him and he broke down and admitted he’s actually only 19, an unemployed college dropout who lives with his parents. I didn’t believe it until I saw his driver's license, date of birth 2004. So much for child support… FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 870

Today, I don't know which is worse: my brother cramming all his sauce bottles into a fridge door shelf that exploded onto the floor when I opened the fridge, or my mother being mad at me because I was upset about slicing open my finger while cleaning up the broken glass and my hand now burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 110

The Top

Today, I'm visiting my wife's home country for the first time. To avoid the spicy street food, I bought something labelled "Fruit salad" from a street vendor. I didn't know even Pakistani fruit salad can be very spicy too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 937

You deserved it 357

Today, my husband put some photos of our wedding on Facebook. He named the album "FML". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 531

You deserved it 3 549

Today, my brother had his hot friend over. I decided to make a move because he was staring at me and smiling all night, so I asked him which holiday was his favorite, Christmas or Easter while I batted my eyes and smiled. That's when he said, "You have lettuce in your teeth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 873

You deserved it 47 841

Today, I got chewed out by my boss. Why? Because my coworkers haven't gotten their work done. Now I have to scan them their work for them to complete it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 350

You deserved it 120

Today, I went out to get groceries and ice-cream. When I got home, I couldn't find my house keys. I retraced my steps, but with no luck, so I returned home and had to break in. While unpacking, I found my keys in the bag, right next to the completely melted ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 553

You deserved it 9 750

Today, I went out with my boyfriend and thought I'd wear two bras under my singlet-top to make my chest look bigger. Upon leaving Target, one of the security guards noticed the extra straps and accused me of shoplifting. I had to spend the next 20 minutes explaining the situation to security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 344

You deserved it 47 113