Love: Get out!

Get out!

By Anonymous - 10/03/2010 21:12 - United States

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert." Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 156

You deserved it 68 077

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/08/2014 05:51 - United States - Hicksville

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 936

You deserved it 7 026

By Anonymous - 01/03/2014 18:46 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 525

You deserved it 5 516

Mistaken identity

By Anonymous - 23/04/2022 12:00

Today, I asked my crush out for coffee but she wanted to go shopping. When she pulled me into the dressing room for my opinion on a bikini, I told her this was too fast for a first date. She looked at me in absolute horror. She thought I was gay, as in a harmless gay friend she could take shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 261

You deserved it 239

By tacoboy - 21/08/2009 08:06 - United States

Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 187

You deserved it 6 581

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 18:12 - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 509

You deserved it 2 944

By salad - 28/04/2014 15:38 - United States - North Charleston

Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 931

You deserved it 5 320

By steak through the heart - 18/11/2014 18:57 - United States - El Monte

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 043

You deserved it 4 125

By Anonymous - 13/03/2013 23:22 - United States

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 378

You deserved it 4 318

Chris Hansen time

By lloydLO - 24/10/2009 02:23 - United States

Today, I met and asked a cute girl out on a date. We decided to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown. When I got there I saw her sitting with what turned out to be her parents. They made a huge scene, calling me a pedophile and a low-life. Apparently, the girl was 16 years-old. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 128

You deserved it 13 601

By Loose Goose - 24/10/2018 12:00

Today, I went on a coffee date. It turned out to be a mistake - not because he was bad, but because I forgot how much coffee upsets my stomach. Yup, it makes me need to poop, and I did. In my jeans. As he drove me home. Not quite the "run" of fun we’d planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 709

You deserved it 721

ydi_ruuc 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:03

you expect to much...

irishfever 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:07

Just because you took her on a date you automatically get sex?

Comments

addmonkey 1

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:32

Why is he a pervert? if your a chick and you invite someone in after a date then you should assume they are thinking about sex, your naive otherwise. Just how guys are built. Go back to catholic school you hypocrites.

robynette 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:43

He's a perv because she mentioned coffee and dessert and the first thing that popped into his mind was sex. That alone isn't so bad, but when you actually mention that you're disappointed that that's not what she meant, then the girl would most likely call you a pervert. Go back to hiring prostitutes, you perv.

loto_fml 3

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:22

You SHOULD assume? WTF kind of mentality do you have? What if your girlfriend invites you in and her parents are there? This is ridiculous.

Smilzen 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 7:34

Hot bareback parent sex, that's what you should assume.

katebuggs 1

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:33

I would have kicked you out too... what a pervert >:/

pepperandroses 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:33

pervert.

urielxxx 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:33

uhhhh virgin

aRm95 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:35

fail lol

DontHateOnSnicke 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:36

yeah, ur just pretty much a pig. ydi

LyuboLove 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:36

not everything's about sex, kids sometimes coffee and cake with a nice bit of conversation also serves a purpose in a relationship.

_RobotInDisguise 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:36

Probably only 'easy' girls would explicitly say "wanna come up for sex?" - in the dating world "coffee" means sex 90% of the time... Still OP, YDI for telling her you were disapointed!