Intimacy: Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her....

By unbelievable208 - 05/08/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 642

You deserved it 86 675

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/12/2014 02:49 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 305

You deserved it 17 958

By mal - 08/05/2012 20:46 - United Kingdom - Chelmsford

Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 164

You deserved it 6 258

By policeopenup - 11/07/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 378

You deserved it 8 733

By uhoh - 16/02/2013 05:27 - Canada - Sechelt

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 544

You deserved it 59 923

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 23:54 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 971

You deserved it 26 606

By iris - 18/05/2012 23:01 - Portugal - Lisbon

Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 237

You deserved it 36 235

Quick, hide!

By Mattyboy - 24/08/2009 09:57 - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 931

You deserved it 18 641

By walker - 06/07/2013 04:17 - United States

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 671

You deserved it 4 906

Back to reality

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 18:02 - United Kingdom - Saint Neots

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 955

You deserved it 28 269

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 035

You deserved it 45 833

insurgent 13

Thursday 4 May 2017 21:59

you're obviously not very good at whispering

KrazyKatz3 26

Sunday 30 July 2017 1:13

Why would you say that?

Comments

insurgent 13

Thursday 4 May 2017 21:59

you're obviously not very good at whispering

KrazyKatz3 26

Sunday 30 July 2017 1:13

Why would you say that?

Bethany Myers 7

Tuesday 15 August 2017 13:22

Ydi for being disgusting. I will never understand the whole "daddy" trend. Gross

InsanityShard 23

Saturday 13 January 2018 4:10

Accidentally hit FYL. YDI all the way.

xxWTFxx1981 23

Saturday 22 September 2018 14:59

this is absolutely the funniest fml I have ever read....lmfao

wrenavery90 12

Thursday 7 July 2022 1:02

I will never understand that phrase. Who's your daddy?? yuck!!

Keywords

Work Facebook Embarrassing Social Media Intimacy Sex Virginity School Painful Health Awkward Dating Tinder Love Skincare Anxiety Relatable Sextoys Poopoo peepee Kids Art Birthday Covid Relationship advice Transportation Cars Gross Family Neighbours Lonely

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 541

Today, I needed emergency work on my house, so I’ve been taking wine, beer, and chocolates to my neighbours as an apology for the noise and dust. Later, one of the husbands came round and punched me for showing him up, because he hasn’t given his wife chocolates in years, so she’s mad at him and he blames me. FML

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 140

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I agree, your life sucks 55 045

You deserved it 3 928

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I agree, your life sucks 34 668

You deserved it 2 991

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I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 372

Today, my boyfriend added me to his friends' private Whatsapp group, after weeks of asking him to include me in more of his life. It turns out almost all they do is post pictures of their shits and rate them. There is nearly a year's worth of pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 397

You deserved it 6 077

Today, my husband and I spent 10 of our last $20 on pizza. Upon arriving home, I stepped out of the car and slipped on some mud, losing my balance and dropping the open box right into the mud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 104

You deserved it 6 176

Same thing different taste

Quick, hide!

Back to reality

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