Kids

OP again, what happened with the injury was the youngest and the second youngest decided they were going to race across our living room, and the former ran headfirst into the edge of the coffee table. Hard. Those two had walked into the kitchen while the rest of them were watching a movie at the time and I don’t think she noticed what they were doing until it was too late. He got a cut that was about an inch or so wide and looked pretty deep on his forehead. We were able to bandage it up, she got the bleeding to stop and confirmed he did not get a concussion from it but everything I frantically searched online said he was going to need stitches and all of the local urgent care centers had literally just closed 5 minutes before this happened. She took him the next morning when they left and they said he was OK, thank goodness, but a very brief lapse in supervision wasn't something to call CPS over.

By kids next door - 18/11/2013 10:14 - United States - Mount Holly

Today, some kids used firecrackers to blow up my mailbox. This is the third time this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 262

You deserved it 3 686

By douglas - 17/07/2011 07:14 - United States

Today, I surprised my four year-old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it "Horny". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 173

You deserved it 8 247

By DEDMan - 28/10/2018 17:30

Today, I found out that my 6-year-old son was named after my wife's "Favorite Uncle" because he might also be the father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 971

You deserved it 219

I'm always right

By Anonymous - 15/01/2023 14:00

Today, my mom got mad at me. She told me that the neighbor was stupid for letting their kids play all over the street alone. I said it was fine, because the mom walked right next to the daughter as she played on her scooter. She argued, “Why do you always have to disagree with me?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 112

By NewMom - 16/08/2017 20:00

Today, there was a baby shower for our first child. My hostess invited 75 people. Only 3 people showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 508

You deserved it 465

By Adulting - 31/10/2017 21:24

Today, I accidentally washed an entire box of macaroni and cheese with a load of laundry. I'm 25 and do not have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 041

You deserved it 2 672

You have been warned

By anne - 17/06/2017 22:00

Today, I happily told my husband I'm pregnant. He happily informed me that very, VERY large babies run in his family, and even though he was born 3 weeks early, he still weighed 15 lbs. The smallest baby to ever be born into his family was his great grandmother, who was 12 lbs. OH GOD, THE PAIN. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 258

You deserved it 805

Bashing the Bible

By Anonymous - 15/06/2022 16:00

Today, my son is going to jail for robbing our church. This happened a year after my daughter was arrested for breaking in to the same church so she could have sex as a big "Fuck You" to God. I can’t show my face there anymore, and it’s the only church within 50 miles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 1 504

By Ramis182 - 03/10/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 748

You deserved it 6 011

By Anonymous - 03/01/2014 21:50 - United Kingdom

Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 720

You deserved it 5 495

She's lost control again

By Anonymous - 02/07/2019 13:01 - United States - Pomona

Today, at the ripe old age of 23, I now no longer have no control over my farts when I cough. My many young students find this hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 604

You deserved it 177

Where there's a will, there's a way

By Alfonso - 03/08/2022 05:00 - United States - Pomona

Today, I got a text from my husband’s adult son offering help. I’ve been my husband’s caretaker for 4 years as he battled Parkinson’s and cancer. His son never called once to offer help; when I asked, he refused. Sadly, my husband passed last month. Now his son is offering help because they can’t find the will. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 277

You deserved it 95

By haleymcaldwell - 12/11/2013 18:43 - United States - Phoenix

Today, a girl came up and hugged me. At first I was frightened, but then I asked who she was. Turns out she was the kid I babysat for 3 years. She cried when she realized I didn't remember her, then threw gravel in my face and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 275

You deserved it 15 994

haleymcaldwell tells us more.

haleymcaldwell 10

Tuesday 12 November 2013 23:16

I babysat for her when she was 3-6 and it's been a long time, years. She looks incredibly different. She used to be blonde, for instance, and now has dark brown hair.