Intimacy, Sex and Movies: Nice!

Nice!

By kill me now - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I realised I've sucked dick to every Simon Pegg movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 253

You deserved it 6 815

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Wickls - 18/12/2008 08:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I bought "Angus, thongs and perfect snogging" on DVD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 114

You deserved it 29 348

By Annoyed - 15/01/2017 18:00

Today, while giving my boyfriend what I thought was an amazing blow job, he asked me if I'd seen Kung Fu Panda 3 yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 015

You deserved it 1 713

Blown job

By Noname - 12/03/2009 09:30 - New Zealand

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 939

You deserved it 339 236

By the critic - 18/06/2012 10:22 - Canada - Saint Catharines

Today, I realized I have been single for far too long when I was turning off porno after porno because I couldn't stand the horrible acting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 344

You deserved it 6 016

By NOKHAN - 25/10/2013 17:17 - United States - Durham

Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 105

You deserved it 7 249

Not that handy

By MyChemicalRomantic - 31/03/2020 02:00

Today, I found out that I can never go to my local cinema again. Not just because of the current lockdown, no. The guy I gave an embarrassing, drunken hand job at a party to works there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 1 926

What is the real feeling?

By Anonymous - 06/11/2019 05:15

Today, my friends and I were acting out porn scenes without sex. Then, I realized that we all watch too much porn, and we are still all virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 2 448

Hmmm, twins

By Anonymous - 11/10/2009 10:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my boyfriend only dates me because I look a bit like his favourite porn star. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 703

You deserved it 4 140

That sucks

By funnyERstory - 23/11/2016 04:31 - United States - Houston

Today, I got my dick sucked. Unfortunately, it was by the vacuum nozzle my cousin stuck down my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 964

You deserved it 1 553

By Anonymous - 11/03/2012 23:19 - United States

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 314

You deserved it 29 203

organizse 28

Monday 16 January 2017 21:41

That really blows.

nainai_09 14

Monday 16 January 2017 21:43

Wtf ?

Comments

organizse 28

Monday 16 January 2017 21:41

That really blows.

nainai_09 14

Monday 16 January 2017 21:43

Wtf ?

Regulate 21

Monday 16 January 2017 21:46

<p>Even Run, Fatboy, Run?</p>

RichardPencil 30

Monday 16 January 2017 22:38

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Silverfeathery 21

Monday 16 January 2017 22:41

Must be something about Simon Pegg...

fmlinact 12

Monday 16 January 2017 22:45

Anyone feel like watching a Simon Pegg movie? When's the next one cuming out :P?

stoneybadger78 6

Monday 16 January 2017 22:46

That's over 43 dicks sucked!

D0minik 9

Monday 16 January 2017 23:18

could all be the same dick. hopefully. Stay classy San Diego

D0minik 9

Monday 16 January 2017 23:27

that can be the same dick just 's lot of times. Hopefully. stay classy San Diego

Balphleair 24

Monday 16 January 2017 22:49

Your life sucks

Arashikage 18

Tuesday 17 January 2017 0:21

If only there was a button to show that instead of typing it out

J352SAURUS 30

Tuesday 17 January 2017 6:01

I think the comment has more to do with the "sucks" part... referring to blow jobs...

badassmf1234 22

Monday 16 January 2017 23:39

You must really like Simon Pegg

Talis99 26

Monday 16 January 2017 23:41

What brought you to even figure that out?

Keywords

Social Media Work Facebook Embarrassing Sex Intimacy Virginity School Painful Health Awkward Dating Tinder Love Anxiety Relatable Skincare Sextoys Poopoo peepee Kids Art Birthday Covid Relationship advice Transportation Cars Gross Family Neighbours Dreams

The Top

Today, I went on a first date. It started out OK, but halfway through he began "debating" me, talking just like Ben Shapiro. I thought he was joking, or at least satirising the worst way you could talk during a date. I was wrong; he was serious. I'm still not sure what set him off, but I couldn't get a word in edgeways in after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 212

You deserved it 261

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATED FMLMeghan's website : http://www.kawaiinot.com/ & http://www.murphypop.com/ If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. Bu...

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

The Top

Today, I was informed that my flatmate had not handed his documents in to the new landlord like he'd told me. We are due to move to a new area tomorrow for the new job that I start in 4 days. Now we can't move for another week. Anyone have a spare couch? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 568

You deserved it 147

Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 457

You deserved it 141

Today, I was fooling around with someone I had met at a club, in my room. It got really heated, and I was really getting into this guy, until he lifts up my leg and asks, "Can I lick your leg?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 741

You deserved it 23 888

Today, I worked as a cashier at a rummage sale at my church to raise money for the homeless. My bag was stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 744

You deserved it 1 316

Today, after my fiancé of seven years and the father of our four kids broke up with me, saying he slept with another girl but not to worry, he thought about me the whole time and still wants to marry me one day, it turns out he's moved to another state. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 590

You deserved it 2 843

Today, after paying for my groceries, I noticed that a bread-roll hadn't been charged. I felt guilty and went back to the register to pay for it. The cashier burst into derisive laughter and mockingly asked me if I was "running for Pope or something". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 061

You deserved it 8 486