Animals: Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in...

By eebie jeebies - 30/05/2016 15:31 - United States - Cypress

Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 483

You deserved it 3 180

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Same thing different taste

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 323

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 160

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 287

You deserved it 14 263

Adapt, improvise, overcome

By Arthur B. - 24/09/2019 12:01

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 463

Monster in my bathroom

By Thescarlettfox - 16/02/2020 01:00

Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 452

You deserved it 875

Freaked

By AussieGirl - 21/11/2009 11:40 - Australia

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 176

You deserved it 4 027

Creeped out

By Seline - 25/11/2010 14:48

Today, I woke up on the top bunk of my bed with the birds chirping. I felt so energized, I gave a big stretch, and my hand hit the ceiling. I accidentally pushed the ceiling board up and lots of tiny spiders fell on me and my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 620

You deserved it 4 322

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 321

You deserved it 7 652

Bath time [GONE WRONG][CREEPYPASTA]

By noname - 27/12/2008 04:07 - France

Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 307

You deserved it 23 904

By HighasaCloud - 10/12/2016 02:38

Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 639

You deserved it 771

BadApple88 29

Monday 30 May 2016 23:25

Spider -1. You -0.

_EnderDoge 22

Monday 30 May 2016 23:22

Did you kill the spider, though?

Comments

_EnderDoge 22

Monday 30 May 2016 23:22

Did you kill the spider, though?

BadApple88 29

Monday 30 May 2016 23:25

Spider -1. You -0.

sparkledoge 29

Monday 30 May 2016 23:27

Ceiling fans are aggressive creatures.

anonymous0110902 20

Monday 30 May 2016 23:29

I guess now would be the time to burn your house down, move to another state, and change your name before that spider shows up again

Tripartita 44

Monday 30 May 2016 23:57

I feel bad for the poor spider. It's going to be tough finding a tattooist willing to ink tiny teardrops under four of its eight eyes.

H4H 15

Tuesday 31 May 2016 0:05

What?

Tripartita 44

Tuesday 31 May 2016 0:11

I was alluding to the tear drop tattoos that some people get under their eye when they kill someone.

H4H 15

Tuesday 31 May 2016 1:29

Oh, that was actually very clever, haha

ninjala 10

Tuesday 31 May 2016 0:08

We were not a species made to last..

ssnow_fml 20

Tuesday 31 May 2016 1:45

I think the spider won the round...

cecilk 29

Tuesday 31 May 2016 1:46

I bet the spider was crawling all over you while you were out, probably doing a victory dance.

zeffra13 31

Tuesday 31 May 2016 1:51

You knocked the spider off your arm & then jumped on your bed. I'm assuming that means the spider is on the floor now (or maybe other furniture). How does standing up on a raised surface help you spot a spider on the floor better than sitting on your & looking more closely? Unless you needed to see over other furniture?