Dogs, Parents and Animals: Sigma

Sigma

By DumbassRoaster - 10/07/2016 19:44 - United States - Fairview

Today, I was woken up by my dad and my dog barking at each other, and my dad yelling, "I am the Alpha male!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 591

You deserved it 1 729

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Same thing different taste

By Cecilly2010 - 28/04/2011 15:53

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 614

You deserved it 5 242

Vicious dog

By onefmlafteranother - 15/11/2019 01:00

Today, I was laying my head on my dad's dog when he walked in. I jokingly asked my dad, "I'm cuddling with your dog, are you jealous?" At that moment, the dog lets a massive, earth-quaking fart and my dad promptly responded, "Nope!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 686

You deserved it 585

By Dogsbody - 27/05/2019 02:30

Today, I noticed that my dad scolds me in the same tone of voice that he uses to scold our two dogs. Gives a whole new meaning to being treated like a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 609

You deserved it 250

Good boy

By Johndoe - 30/10/2021 20:00

Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 158

By GoodDog - 09/09/2009 13:21 - United States

Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking out the window. He was doing it at the person stealing my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 855

You deserved it 51 893

By gothchick201013 - 09/09/2016 18:43 - United States - Dayton

Today, my dog kept barking at the door, and I jokingly shouted, "Language!" My mom heard and grounded me for yelling at the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 080

You deserved it 1 125

By Yo mom - 27/12/2011 07:12 - United States

Today, I was screaming at my neighbor to shut his dog up. After 30 minutes of bellowing, he yelled back that it was my dog that was barking. He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 681

You deserved it 55 062

By kacysospacyy - 15/07/2011 18:23 - United States

Today, I went on a run with the family dog. I returned home to three missed calls and a hysterical voicemail from my dad. Why? The dog was gone. Not me, his 15 year-old daughter, the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 066

You deserved it 4 848

Helicopter parents

By Anonymous - 20/12/2021 20:00

Today, I got home to see that my dad had let himself in. He told me he'd caught a feral dog that somehow got into my house, but not to worry, he lured it back outside and it ran away. So yeah, my dad set loose the dog I literally just saved yesterday from being euthanised at our local dog pound. Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 427

You deserved it 137

Alarm

By Anonymous - 09/08/2012 14:26 - United States

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 591

You deserved it 4 010

MDoremis 38

Monday 11 July 2016 9:53

He's trying to move up from Beta, obviously.

Crazyjohnb 23

Monday 11 July 2016 9:57

Well, that's a new way to train a dog.

Comments

MDoremis 38

Monday 11 July 2016 9:53

He's trying to move up from Beta, obviously.

Kitcat1234 21

Monday 11 July 2016 16:17

OP's just upset because he/she isn't the Alpha

Crazyjohnb 23

Monday 11 July 2016 9:57

Well, that's a new way to train a dog.

Elgrin 15

Wednesday 13 July 2016 6:29

I'm pretty sure the dog was training him.

ezrocks4u 29

Monday 11 July 2016 9:58

"I am the master commander!"

toastbrot 9

Monday 11 July 2016 9:59

I smell a midlife crisis...

tygerarmy 35

Monday 11 July 2016 10:01

Assert your dominance and tell them both to go to bed.

__doge__ 15

Monday 11 July 2016 10:23

Wtf is wrong with the new buttons!

Bunnyluver 20

Monday 11 July 2016 15:05

You could try explaining the buttons to him.

JETarchitect 32

Tuesday 12 July 2016 0:27

why can't I like your reply #9?? it's perfect

dVwarfare 15

Tuesday 12 July 2016 1:25

It wouldn't hurt to explain the buttons pal

will968 15

Tuesday 12 July 2016 20:13

It's FML staff that's why

RedCronos 17

Monday 11 July 2016 10:28

Someone once said "calm and submissive"

WebWarrior4991 9

Monday 11 July 2016 10:44

He may say that now, but we'll see who's feeding who tomorrow.

Bearsmomma 30

Monday 11 July 2016 10:57

I love your dad! ĹOL

mooman36 15

Monday 11 July 2016 11:05

Yea, I do this with my dogs. Must be working since I am the alpha male. At least I seem to be most of the time...

withered 30

Monday 11 July 2016 12:44

#11 Either that or your dogs have better manners than you do :P

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 47 488

You deserved it 15 053

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I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 16

The Top

Today, I bullied a kid at school, just so someone would talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 052

You deserved it 80 373

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 832

You deserved it 16 327

Today, a customer complained that her salad had "too much lettuce." Her bowl was less than half-filled with lettuce and the rest was cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 258

You deserved it 770

Today, my new iPhone was stolen from my school locker. After canceling my service, sobbing, having my mom yell at the secretary for their lack of security and finally agreeing to change to a private school, I found it in the corner of my locker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 055

You deserved it 81 293

Today, they're jackhammering through concrete walls at my workplace in order to build an addition. I'm allowed to work from home… but I live right next to where they're jackhammering down a concrete garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 68

Today, I was diagnosed with Covid. I've been living with my ex for 8 months. They started dating again, and their new partner broke up with them and gave them Covid, then my ex gave it to me. I was supposed to move out, and now I have to delay it further. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 267