Straining

By NoPeeGiven - 14/04/2013 05:10 - United States - Palatine

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks 48 888
You deserved it 9 986
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Top comments

TourettesGuyFTW 25

20- your pun is crap, and it stinks. Try again, I hope number 2 is better.

62 1

Comments

nnnope 26

it's better to be pissed off than pissed on unfortunately OP was both

50 4
TourettesGuyFTW 25

20- your pun is crap, and it stinks. Try again, I hope number 2 is better.

62 1
byFate 5

Damn that would put me into a pissy mood

6 1
i_h8t_everything 12

Just give me a wee moment to fix my zipper

1 0
naxeeb 33

Drinks lots of fluid and then start over maybe? O_o

31 2
morella_xx 29

I think having to come up with another urine sample is a lesser problem compared to indirectly peeing all over himself.

18 0
gc327072 30

"You heard me; SQUEEZE…THE LEMON."

5 0
ironichalibut 24

Somehow? Admit it, you wanted a golden shower with a bunch of nurses around. You could always drink as much water as possible without vomiting and wait a bit again too, as annoying as that is.

20 4
SasaCeceGogo 18

Brace yourselves, urine puns are coming.

57 3
ironichalibut 24

Avast ready the lemon colored water levies!

4 13
Shenanigans9 8

Brace yourselves, urine for some bad puns.

35 2
lolfood 24

Do those jokes piss you off? Urine trouble then.

2 0
Epikouros 31

Don't worry: if you can't pee, the nurse will simply ram a blunt needle through your dick in order to pump the piss out of your bladder.

12 29
SMHsohard 22

Ok, to clear up a common misconception, a catheter is not a needle, it's a length of flexible tubing used to drain urine from the bladder. For rude or ignorant patients, we like to use the garden hose sized variety. And, oops, forgot to lube it.

32 4
monnanon 13

seems a bit extreme for a urine test. cant the paitents take a cup home and hand one in later or return to the clinic another day rather than getting a catheter in.

2 9
ekb777 13

If they took it home I think there would be the chance that people would submit urine that was not their own. They probably could just come back though

14 0
SMHsohard 22

#43-Yeah, that's not going to happen for a routine physical. 2-3 glasses of water and a 20 minute wait should do it. Moral of the story: don't let yourself get dehydrated before you have labs done; even if you're supposed to fast, you can drink water. Makes things a lot easier.

9 0
monnanon 13

when i went for a routine physical i was able to take the sample bottle home there was even once that they sent it out to me so i could bring it in with me when i attended the docs next. must be different rules over here. i think the threat of a cathater would have me filling the sample bottle rather quickly tho.

3 0
CharresBarkrey 15

If it's not a drug test they will just send you home with the cup. Getting someone else's urine wouldn't help you if you're being tested for an infection.

5 0
SMHsohard 22

51-I've actually had it happen, especially with surgical patients. Mention "catheter" and it scares the piss outta them. Or, maybe it's the evil laugh, who knows?

4 0
Sandsh8rk 36

That's piss-poor performance from you.

20 0
M3DIC4T3 29

I'd hate to see what would happen if OP was required to give a feces sample.

4 0
lalala1896 6

You're in a wee bit of trouble

22 0
abirdgotshot 13

Now that you are done in by p. Get back in q, perhaps another 20 minutes will do the trick.

5 0
monkeyy100 15

Time to go back in the restroom again! LOL

3 3