Intimacy: FML: Uncensored

FML: Uncensored

By Anonymous - 15/01/2012 02:00 - United States

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 738

You deserved it 4 424

New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

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Same thing different taste

Not a morning person

By Anonymous - 15/07/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 751

Twisted

By sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 776

You deserved it 4 725

By Light Sleeper - 14/10/2012 04:24 - United States - Evansville

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 041

You deserved it 4 497

By breeeeeh - 21/06/2013 22:18 - France - Brou-sur-chantereine

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 682

You deserved it 69 962

Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 01/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 672

You deserved it 223

Cheeky

By woopdeedo_1 - 07/03/2010 19:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 236

You deserved it 3 610

By Anonymous - 21/10/2014 15:49 - United States - Bedford

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 822

You deserved it 7 808

By Jack - 26/10/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 998

You deserved it 3 007

Poor pillow

By Randy Candy - 12/02/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 317

You deserved it 287

With friends like these…

By marz88 - 24/10/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 699

You deserved it 7 135

JHC88 2

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:32

Wow, that was really rude of him.

123josie123 11

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:34

Ew they didn't have the decency to wait till you're gone??

Comments

JHC88 2

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:32

Wow, that was really rude of him.

Kyzahhh 7

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:46

He ruined possibly the best chance for a threesome, he should be ashamed of himself

jellybeans4833 7

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:46

That would've been so awkward.. Eh. You have a really weird friend by the way..

Sanch101 7

Sunday 15 January 2012 10:24

Very true some people have no consideration.

eyyitsalejandra 0

Sunday 15 January 2012 11:05

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attaboy368 20

Sunday 15 January 2012 16:23

And I thought it was bad when my roommate thought I was asleep and brought in someone to his bed for a little shag...you win the awkward moment award friend

amber34536 9

Sunday 15 January 2012 18:31

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UtterCatastrophe 4

Sunday 15 January 2012 18:39

94, you're like 12. You don't know anything.

ferrettamer 6

Sunday 15 January 2012 20:09

You'd be surprised what 12 year old's know nowadays, 95.

JJambiya21 0

Monday 16 January 2012 2:30

Damn, even if he didn't want a 3 some they should have either left or had sex on the floor or still rude but better ask you to leave the room for awhile cuz he's just a douche for trying to kick you off FYL OP .

blushy 14

Tuesday 17 January 2012 14:06

i wouldv'e run away myself. what a sick friend

GnaR_KiLL5150 12

Thursday 21 August 2014 2:01

Either move or join in, only 2 options.

LoZelda123 20

Tuesday 5 April 2016 23:48

I'd say equally rude of the friend to try hooking up when you're sharing a bed with your friend -_-; common sense is all but dead

justinb97 16

Monday 7 August 2017 0:19

And her

CorsairS 12

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:33

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OriginalimoaN 15

Sunday 15 January 2012 22:05

All those thumbs down are the people who have threesomes with their friends...or who want to..

minesbiggerr 25

Sunday 16 February 2014 2:45

Can you guys just stop and think about it? OPs friend is having sex with her boyfriend on the same bed OP is sleeping on... That's ****** up

123josie123 11

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:34

Ew they didn't have the decency to wait till you're gone??

girl112891 7

Sunday 15 January 2012 14:39

If I woke up to that I'd freak out and shove the both of the bed! That's just sick!

picturescrazy 24

Wednesday 18 January 2012 8:12

I don't understand why she DIDN'T freak out on the both of them. That is just completely inconsiderate and disgusting /:

Demon_of_Light 27

Sunday 6 August 2017 9:49

Not to mention, what kind of person has so little self control that they can't wait one night until they aren't sharing a space so intimately with a friend? Those must be some serious animal urges.

jalapeno64 10

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:35

Well now you know not to sleep over at your friend's house

halfbakedlogic 6

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:35

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MilkmanPsycho 7

Sunday 15 January 2012 13:58

His **** was clearly not blocked.

perdix 29

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:37

We don't know how good he was. You could have been right about it begin a nightmare!

Pentium_4 27

Sunday 15 January 2012 10:52

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4rmMiami 4

Monday 16 January 2012 4:28

Ur so funny:)

yesmanddd 4

Monday 10 September 2012 18:05

It's funny how when posters like person or other 'famous' posters make spelling or grammar mistakes no one corrects them though they probably would have done so had anyone else made that same post. Just saying

Cyza Tejano 7

Sunday 6 August 2017 3:31

lol

superpoptart 24

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:40

Your friend & company should have the decency to kick you out of the room first. That's just a really uncomfortable position to be in.

cinderellacat 0

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:48

Or they could always just wait till op was not sleeping over like normal people

alphaskater09 9

Sunday 15 January 2012 10:13

Was that a pun referring to an uncomfortable sex position? I thought it was funny

CadyAsInKatie 8

Sunday 15 January 2012 20:39

Or the decency to NOT DO IT WHILE SHE'S HAVING A SLEEPOVER! I'd be do pissed, that A) I'd leave that not and not talk to her for awhile and B) never sleep over her house again.