By clayton - 28/07/2012 00:30 - Australia - Sydney

Spicy
Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 510
You deserved it 44 192
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Top comments

greenie213 23

Teenage hormones man. The weirdest shit will set you off.

341 7

Comments

MrSassypants 33

I can't say what is wrong with you, but when I ask that question, everyone replies by saying everything is wrong with me.

246 10
doctorhook86 24

The answer is obviously "the Internet."

65 2
shuoq76 10

Lol? I'm not sure how to respond to this...

MattBC97 4

oh god my computer just glitched the f out...

0 0
mduffy08 8

Maybe we have to unscramble the words

33 44
MrSassypants 33

If you don't know how to respond to something, I think the best way is not to repond at all.

169 4
the_anti_hipster 7

Paging Dr. Freud, Mommy Issues on line 1...

90 4
mduffy08 8

My reply was to a comment that got deleted.

50 3
MrSassypants 33

48 I know that. It was something along the lines of "sisknwbshsjajja". Literally. Bunch of random letters.

54 2
Reeserr 3

I'm not quite sure you know how to use the word literally properly.

4 13
MrSassypants 33

I think I do. If I do not, inform me of my terrible deed I have committed and show me the correct and glorious way to do so.

11 0
Reeserr 3

Nice, you replied in 3 minutes. Are you on here all day checking to see if someone replies?

1 22
mduffy08 8

103 - So you literally posted 7 minutes after, and you're going to say that? Get lost.

18 0
hatesfate 6

109 - you literally have no idea that 3 minutes is not all day.

4 0
HyperRofl 0

You guys literally have no idea there are email notifications.

1 0
Reeserr 3

Ya I did because I knew this simp would respond. YOLO

0 0
Merylwen 24

What's wrong with him is that he watches way too much ****.

12 34
BIGBOY4rmAHM 19

Actually. Some psychiatrists believe that there is a connection between the mother/son that appeals to the the son's sexual fantasies. In other words, some guys want to sleep with girls that are just like their mothers. Which is possibly why he got aroused.

16 7
TurnpikeTwister 0

179 - it's called the Oedipus complex, from the Greek myth. There's also the opposite case in which girls are helplessly attracted to their fathers, known as the Electra complex. Pretty ****** up, but obviously not so uncommon as to develop terms for the conditions....however I think OP is most likely an adolescent and probably just hormone haywire, in which case a number of words spoken by any person can trigger the very same reaction. Nothing to be ashamed of OP, my advice to you is to do what other boys (and men) do and flog the dolphin; it's perfectly natural, but just be sure it's in private and without thoughts of mother dearest in your head.

31 1
ReturnOfTheRat 6

I don't think it was a connection to his mother, I think he got aroused from the words 'he surprised me with a pearl necklace'

15 2
ygdrassil 17

Those terms exist and are used because Sigmund Freud popularized it. His theory (now discredited) went that kids develop sexually by being attracted to their parents and that they resent the parent they're not attracted to.

4 1
BIGBOY4rmAHM 19

182- thank you for explaining it to me in more detail. It's true what they say "you learn something new everyday"

5 0
UltimateGIRness 16

Well I learned a lot on this thread

1 0
SqueakyChipmunk 21

Jill: I'm not speaking with him right now. He can never use soap, that bastard.

47 2
TourettesGuyFTW 25

Girl?? Are you sure? He got hard after hearing about pearls!!

6 74
doctorhook86 24

2: What if the OP isn't into girl-bros?

58 3
boating_guy 33

clearly OP just needs a "slam piece" or a "hole for his dick", just so he can get it out of his system, ya know?

24 11
pulse18 2

I don't think a girl bro would be effective. maybe a girlfriend would.

44 2
AKGirlinSD 20

12, I agree. There's nothing wrong with self gratification. I'm guessing he watches too much 'mommy and son's friend' ****.

23 0
fuzz97 23

35, not sure if you're joking or you actually don't know what a "pearl necklace" is

20 1
TourettesGuyFTW 25

Clearly that went right over some people's heads. Unlike OP's mother. ;)

7 12
HiIAmKevin 8

I'm guessing his mom is hot. Is your mom a Milf? We need pics!!

2 10
Annnieck 5

'mom, I want to introduce you to my new girlfriend, my left hand'

8 2
boredblonde 17

How is that even a turn on?

196 12
Shrike 23

Dunno, some people just find cumming on girls hot.

54 7
Shrike 23

Yeah, that part's just sick, search me.

44 6
SwAGkiLlS 5

I don't understand how it's even close to a turn on...

25 7
violetsweety 26

A pearl necklace can be slang for ejaculating all over a girls neck.

93 7
Xythenol 6

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
14 100
Fmlsea 28

wtf who would get turned on by that ?

16 8
eggmarie 25

119 - I didn't actually get the joke until she explained. So it wasn't that obvious, Captain Asshole

155 5
shinersaboss 0

Good thing she explained that cause I was thinking honest pearl necklaces here

42 0
doctorhook86 24

Anyone else notice that it's mostly girls who don't what "pearl necklace" is a euphemism for? 120: Dudes.

26 3
TheJester12 15

My hormones must be acting up too. I first read that as " I was spanking to my mother on the phone " oh wait a second .....

11 1
VorpikeII 17

Has no one thought about why the mother would share this information with her son? The son was probably quite horny, taking into account the fact that it probably was a REAL pearl necklace, not the sexual kind.

7 3
greenie213 23

Teenage hormones man. The weirdest shit will set you off.

341 7
CareFace 16

Like... His mum getting jizzed on by his dad? Personally, I think he's from the wrong part of Australia... Tasmania is where all that "jazz" happens...

9 63
AussieChild 22

Right, coz all Tasmanian's are incest. Nice stereotype jerkoff

71 8
pmr1990 12

Sounds like AussieChild has experienced a few too many Tasmanian jokes. From the whole of the mainland, we're sorry. We'll also speak slower for you ;)

68 6
AussieChild 22

I'm from Queensland originally- then moved to Tasmania with family.. Doesn't stop all the jokes though

13 2
hatesfate 6

87 - so you folks converted into the lifestyle?

12 3
bingo01_fml 13

No where does it say or even imply that OP is a teenager. If he is talking on the phone with his mother about something mundane that happened a week ago I would assume that he is grown and living on his own.

8 2
greenie213 23

Take a good look at your profile pic and try to learn something.

1 4
jizzwold 21

So Tasmania is to Australia as the south is to the United States?

5 2
AussieChild 22

198- all I know is that Tasmania has the lowest crime rate in Australia and is considered to be one of the safest and most beautiful places in the world.

2 0
mpj13 8

That's a very attractive question

68 5
onlychildFTW 33

I honestly thing an actually pearl neckless. Not one made by his dads baby juice. Haha.

2 11
MissEmma_fml 22

*think *actual *necklace *dad's SORRY - *hides in corner*

35 3
mtrrace 4

It happens to the best of us.

23 50
phatdaddy62 23

OK, I've done some really weird shit. But not that!

30 3
blcksocks 19

No #7, I don't think it does...

30 2
CptZoe 10

Clearly, most people are not "the best of us". The world is ******.

11 2
cmb8280 24

Really? No one here has used the phrase, "It happens to the best of us," sarcastically before? i.e. somewhere where it clearly does NOT happen to the best of us? No worries, #7, I'm pickin' up what you're puttin' down.

8 1
fatou_fml 7

You mean the perverted "us"

0 2
duckiegirl21 10

I've yet to hear of a pearl fetish, but I suppose there's a first time for everything.

17 91
nchov523 11

Lookup "pearl necklace" on urban dictionary.

48 3
the_anti_hipster 7

21--and look it up at work. With the volume up as loud as it'll go. ;)

47 5
i_wuz_nver_here 31

Oooooh the wonders of urban dictionary this makes so much more sense now

25 2
SuaSponte 1

It would have been best if you sent that in a private message.

33 1
MrSassypants 33

No. It would have been better to send a private message, and it would have been best to keep quiet.

44 0
alychick 5

Desperate chick is desperate.

12 2
SirEskimo 13

You're not nearly old enough to be op's type.

12 1
HairyPunisher 27

It ssounds to me like you just need to lay off the **** and get laid with a real woman. If you're so sexually starved you're picturing sexual scenarios with your parents when something mundane happens then yes, it's time to lose the v-card.

48 8
miyaviichan 27

Your username may or may not turn him off completely.

9 1