Intimacy: Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma...

By Susan - 18/03/2013 08:59 - Ireland

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 690

You deserved it 16 033

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Same thing different taste

Wanker horn

By gran ruined masturbation - 01/06/2023 12:00

Today, if I'm out of breath, sweaty, or in a room with the door closed, my grandmother will loudly yell, "YOU HAVE BEEN MASTURBATING!" as soon as she sees me. It's been going on for three years. My parents think it's hilarious. I want to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 172

You deserved it 176

By Nails - 22/02/2009 03:16 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 125

You deserved it 7 242

Oh no…

By Oh... - 26/07/2019 16:00 - Australia

Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 971

You deserved it 261

Great story, tell it again!

By BrianTheLion89 - 06/06/2012 21:37 - United States

Today, I got a lecture about being lazy and not being active enough for my age, which ended with, "When I was your age, I was out every night having sex with anything that breathed." Thanks Gran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 630

You deserved it 3 753

By RatCityChick - 27/06/2012 17:18 - United States - Bellevue

Today, my grandmother said she's noticed that I've been very angry lately. She came to the conclusion that I "haven't been laid enough" and my boyfriend is "not doing his job." Thanks Grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 464

You deserved it 4 892

Caught red-handed

By caught - 09/01/2012 00:43 - United States

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 336

You deserved it 36 291

As you were

By ryan and Zack - 25/02/2010 22:30 - United States

Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door, and there was no answer. Fearing that something had happened, I violently broke down the door to find my grandma and her new 80 year-old boyfriend having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 300

You deserved it 7 972

By Anonymous - 17/03/2013 19:09 - France - Minzier

Today, I went to the gym with my grandma. In the span of an hour, she was hit on more than I ever have been in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 360

You deserved it 4 304

My ears!

By epistaxis - 02/02/2009 00:43 - Australia

Today, I'm staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 418

You deserved it 2 688

By welptimetoburntheplacedown - 11/08/2014 15:02 - United States - Louisville

Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 307

You deserved it 3 702

perdix 29

Monday 18 March 2013 16:31

Did Grandma say this while banging a guy she picked up at the gym?

obviousboy 8

Monday 18 March 2013 16:49

Grandmas: calling it like it is since they stopped giving a ****.

Comments

lazyfoo92 4

Monday 18 March 2013 16:29

Video games are even a physical activity nowadays so how does that work?

SmallyBigs 9

Monday 18 March 2013 16:37

Having sex takes care of both of those activities.

Enslaved 36

Monday 18 March 2013 17:01

And what about the ones that just lie there like a corpses?

perdix 29

Monday 18 March 2013 16:31

Did Grandma say this while banging a guy she picked up at the gym?

Lrigglez 7

Monday 18 March 2013 19:59

No while she was showing the parents her light up vibrator.

rabidpeach 5

Monday 18 March 2013 21:15

demonstrating while she was visiting them at the cemetary

Wizardo 33

Tuesday 19 March 2013 0:18

No, probably whilst he was scrounging up doritos and mouldy cheese off of the bathroom floor.

Joe9024 20

Tuesday 19 March 2013 5:40

I'm surprised OP could hear her with that mouth full of nachos! "Mhmmph Now where are my pants.."

Nicholi124 10

Tuesday 19 March 2013 16:46

At least she kinda covered for you lol

Welshite 39

Monday 18 March 2013 16:31

Sex is a physical exercise. Go get 'em, girl...

dreamweeper370 10

Monday 18 March 2013 16:33

Cougars these days.

andyyroxx 20

Monday 18 March 2013 16:37

Yeah, and what about you, Grandma?

st333ph 12

Tuesday 19 March 2013 5:02

That's a question who's answer I would not want to hear.

zingline89 18

Monday 18 March 2013 16:41

Go bang a dude on a treadmill and kill two birds with one stone.

Pleonasm 35

Monday 18 March 2013 17:17

Or just ride a space hopper to a similar effect

zingline89 18

Monday 18 March 2013 17:28

A space hopper/***** combination...hmm...to the patent office!!

Pleonasm 35

Monday 18 March 2013 17:45

Dildopper!

sugarshane007 20

Monday 18 March 2013 16:45

Nothing quite cures the burn when delivered from Grandma.

obviousboy 8

Monday 18 March 2013 16:49

Grandmas: calling it like it is since they stopped giving a ****.

anythingmustbe 18

Monday 18 March 2013 16:50

As Olivia Newton-John says... Let's get physical physical!

happysmile987 24

Tuesday 17 February 2015 13:12

Er no. Just no.

Felling 14

Monday 18 March 2013 16:50

You just got owned by grandma.

Keywords

Cheating Love Relatable Work Money My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 540

You deserved it 1 905

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 538

You deserved it 10 056

The Top

Today, I was very cold and tired, so I took a shower to warm up and went to bed. The minute I hopped into bed, it collapsed and broke. I have spent half-an-hour rearranging furniture to get the mattress on to the floor. Now I'm cold again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 307

You deserved it 3 278

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 087

You deserved it 23 790

Today, I sent a message on Facebook to a girl I really like. She replied, "..." It took me three hours to realize she'd actually written it. I thought it was just Facebook telling me she was typing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 104

You deserved it 8 577

Today, after over a week of trying to get a hold of my doctor for a much-needed medication refill, he finally called back. Too bad my phone got unplugged and died in the middle of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 246

Today, my neighbor kindly set off a bed bug fogger rather than getting an exterminator, which we'd even offered to help him pay for. We have baseboard heating in our condo building. Guess where the parasites crawled to now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 986

You deserved it 848

Today, my mom refuses to believe that she’s responsible for my anxiety and nervous bowel conditions. She has screamed and berated me literally every day since I can remember. She would burst into my room and accuse me of hiding someone in there, and constantly used her religion to bully me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 142

Same thing different taste

Wanker horn

Oh no…

Great story, tell it again!

Caught red-handed

As you were

My ears!

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