By Anonymous - 01/07/2016 18:24 - United States - Mission

Spicy
Today, I lost my virginity. We'd both waited until marriage, so I thought it'd be nice and romantic. Nope. He slipped it into my ass and claimed he didn't know which hole was the right one. FML
I agree, your life sucks 21 812
You deserved it 5 258
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Top comments

Globrorey 3

Yeah if he slipped it in your ass he knew what he was doing. Secondly you can't just "slip it" in the ass without proper lube anyway. You should've felt him knocking at the back door and then you could've guided him to the front. If he slipped it in your ass, then he's not a virgin. You got scammed.

465 15
sadblufly 18

If you've masturbated before you actually had sex with him, you should tell him what you like and help him around. If he was also a virgin or pretty inexperienced he might not know his way around your lady bits

272 16

Comments

Qandol 26

I know it was your first time, but was it also his first time? If yes then it's understandable, but if it's not then he is playing smart.

103 16
Cathrin 26

"We'd both waited until marriage" those first two words imply that it was also his first time. Granted, you'd think a basic knowledge of the birds and the bees would be standard by marriage age, yet he seems to lack that, given he couldn't tell the two holes apart.

82 5
Qandol 26

It's possible, but also at the same time he may not of been Virgins and after meeting his wife, she didn't wanted to have sex and they both waited till Marriage.

46 4
never_three 21

#4, "we both waited" does not imply that OPs husband was also a virgin. The statement "he slipped it in my ass then pretended he didn't know which hole was the right one" implies that he at least claimed to be a virgin. There can be one virginal partner in a relationship and both can wait til marriage before having sex. But unless OP and her man were drenched in lube, there no way he just slipped in there. That's not an easy hole to stick into first time round.

51 1
Elban 20

She could be a larger woman and drop mammoth logs. It could've been widened due to her diet and/or his manly bits could be of the smaller variety

10 37
CogadhTallon 16

I don't even... 62, why did you make that comment exist?

20 1
dudeutookhrs 24

That position is called the dolphin, in case you didn't know.

70 6
NorthernNoise 7

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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thawny_fml 21

Woah settle down there 9. You need to learn some things before jumping on the SJW train.

102 18
stevenN659 24

no, I do believe that definition of rape, is "unwanted sexual conduct". Not missing the glory hole by 2 inches

96 17
mfmylifesrsly 29

it's not rape if he unintentionally did it..jesus.

45 25
Nysha 17

Sure, but does anyone really believe he did it by accident?

89 7
juturnaamo 29

If she has the kind of asshole that a dick can just slip into? Yeah, maybe.

10 19
HonestPie 10

Rape? Jesus, the dude's an asshole and just stuck it in her... asshole. Just say **** off and if he keeps on doing it, then that there is rape. Rape is pretty straight forward.

3 18
eyepuppy 31

Wow #9. You went all the way to left field for that one.

4 14
earthfire1 2

Jumping to conclusions much? Pretty sure it was mutual as the OP describes. Calm down lol.

2 3
sadblufly 18

If you've masturbated before you actually had sex with him, you should tell him what you like and help him around. If he was also a virgin or pretty inexperienced he might not know his way around your lady bits

272 16
jttorkildson 21

That's actually kind of concerning. It's both of your first times and he's already crossing boundaries without asking? I mean, technically you haven't consummated the marriage without vaginal penetration so...

90 14
Sharkieee 6

I don't think that applies still now that gay marriage is legal, does it?

2 1
NorthernNoise 7

If he's going for anal without your permission, he is not a virgin and he is an asshole. Sorry you discovered that after you married him, and watch out for whatever other shit he tries to pull

142 15
Dodge4x4Ram 46

oops doesn't quite do it

19 2
Globrorey 3

Yeah if he slipped it in your ass he knew what he was doing. Secondly you can't just "slip it" in the ass without proper lube anyway. You should've felt him knocking at the back door and then you could've guided him to the front. If he slipped it in your ass, then he's not a virgin. You got scammed.

465 15
MallowMistress 13

She could have just meant he slid down and pushed, trying to push into her ass. I've had that happen far too many times, usually from too much movement/speed mixing. but all the same.

47 2
MrsHoffman 11

If he slipped it into your ass that easily, your not a virign either, at least not in the backdoor!

6 35
False_Stupidity 41

Maybe he has a pencil sized pecker to be able to accidentally slip it in there.

15 2
RosaMaravillosa 10

yeah, I agree with 12 and 50. I had that happen with an undersized boyfriend more than once. just slipped right in there without any lube whatsoever.

16 3
samsam23t 8

correction if he slipped in in her butt that means she's not a complete virgin because that would hurt like hell if he were to just slip it in and if he doesn't know what a ****** feels like yes he can mistake it for one especially if he didn't see where he put it while in doggy style or if his manhood missed and slipped into it.

1 19
jasonrellet 22

#8 not true! When my girlfriend and I did it for the first time I missed the correct hole and almost went in her back door... She showed me how to determine which one is the right one. We still get it wrong some times, after almost 2 years

4 14
MrEpicSqueaky101 18

It happens. I know it does. Things get slippery and your girlfriend at the time gets pissed off. ;_;

1 5
Unenunciable 14

I agree. I think he's a liar and that he intentionally violated her and her trust. What a scumbag!!

15 2
tygerarmy 35

A lot of things are going on in this FML, I wanna know if only the OP is a virgin or if they both are. Assuming the husband is, it's a lack of education issue. Then what is meant by slipped? Did he line up wrong, did he push hard into the wrong door. How easy was it to slip in? It could be a size thing on one or both parts, and a natural lubrication thing. Some uncut guys naturally lubricate really well. Adding those things together a lot combinations of the above or others could have happened.

9 1
sweetpotato301 7

She showed you how to determine which is the right hole? Is it not simple enough to just look and be able to identify the difference between a ****** and an anus?

18 0
Comrox 19

80 - OP says they *both* waited for marriage. They were both virgins previously.

1 1
Mungolikecandy 19

Very true. It is not possible to just "slip it in" unless the person has a slack sphincter for some reason or has a lot of experience of it.

3 4
Ging3rSnap 9

Same! I dated a guy with a small "package" and he could slip in the back door very easily without any lube

2 1
Fa1lenAngel 2

Well I mean, my 2nd time (first time wasn't really a proper one, hard to explain) when I did doggy style, sometimes the dick would come out and I would try to put it back in and accidentally touch into the wrong hole, although of course didn't go straight in cause 1. didn't go hard 2. wasn't lubed to that extent. Just because he accidentally got it in your ass doesn't necessarily mean he's not a virgin...

0 0
Justinspires 5

You have life to get better with him! Have fun!

6 20
RinoaHeartilly 36

I sense some shenanigans. That's not something that just slips in without doing some damage.

2 0