Intimacy: Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow....

By R_U_CEREAL - 04/07/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 097

You deserved it 13 729

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Same thing different taste

Poor pillow

By Randy Candy - 12/02/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 303

You deserved it 277

Lock your doors

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 00:14

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 470

You deserved it 763

By Anonymous - 02/11/2014 19:47 - Australia - Werribee

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 990

You deserved it 4 772

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 18:41 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 709

You deserved it 3 993

By GiveADogABone - 15/10/2015 22:47 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 055

You deserved it 3 517

By Mygawdwhy - 21/01/2018 01:30

Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 185

You deserved it 2 059

By tracy4191 - 18/09/2016 05:21 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 556

You deserved it 737

False alarm

By dirtyhands - 18/02/2009 23:01 - United States

Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room to ask if I was okay because she thought the squeaking was me crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 529

You deserved it 62 912

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 258

You deserved it 3 323

Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 01/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 667

You deserved it 222

awuh_man 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 16:04

haha that sucks was it hot?

Dboy23 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 16:11

LMFAO! Horny little bugger are we?

Comments

awuh_man 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 16:04

haha that sucks was it hot?

T1MT1M 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 22:47

wrong. lets hope she does put it on the internet! I wanna see lol. This sounds amusing,

hecuva 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 23:33

Screw the girlfriend/boyfriend showing... wait until the marriage reception, then project it onto a big screen for everyone to see.

Loser390 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:20

Why get a girlfriend when you have a pillow?

MR_OHCRAP 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 7:06

If your girlfriend sees the video, tell her that you were subconsciously masturbating over her.

u_must_be_gay09 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 7:08

#41, you're an idiot

zeos 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 18:01

haha that would really suck for him xDD (#55)

ivals 3

Friday 10 July 2009 23:43

true, wat he said was bullshit, pillows suck i have tried it once

KRYPTON1T3 5

Saturday 11 June 2011 5:59

video or it didn't happen.

hundremeterhekk 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 16:04

first

fmlAllStar7274 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 16:14

fail

rescueLove 0

Monday 8 February 2010 20:16

major fail #2.

breena25 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 9:32

you sir, ( or ma'am ) fail at life

TheCheesePanda 4

Tuesday 9 October 2012 23:55

You put the 'F' in Fail.

TJPartyBoy 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 16:04

PWNED

rukiafujioka 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 16:05

oooh...fyl. But the pillow pwned you xD

LuckyCharms_fml 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 16:06

Haha FAIL for #2 and EPIC WIN for your mom...that's something to show the future girlfriend.

I_love_5gum 5

Sunday 27 November 2011 9:29

Why do you assume its a guy?

Rose_916 16

Thursday 6 September 2012 15:39

It says op is! fyl thats super embarrassing better delete the video secretly before she shows people

riaaa 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 16:07

what kind of mother do u have -_-''

dearViena 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 18:07

a funny one

jncwmnd 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:53

ick, his mom is a creeper...i would walk out and pretend i hadn't seen anything, but your mom chose to record it?? o.O

Leashaness 5

Friday 10 July 2009 2:47

It's not like he was beating off. He was screwing his pillow... in his sleep! That's funny! His mom has a good sense of humor.

Rockey 3

Saturday 4 July 2009 16:09

What kind of dreams do you have? Fixed @ #6

Dboy23 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 16:11

LMFAO! Horny little bugger are we?

emer_helena 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 16:13

Well that sucks

catatonicsleep 17

Saturday 4 July 2009 16:17

Why would she film it?

Mnemic 5

Saturday 4 July 2009 16:25

I guess a new YouTube hero is on its way! :-o Disturbing btw... that your mom actually recorded it.

Keywords

Mental health Work Awkward Relatable AITA Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Annoying Family Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Transportation Cars Dentist Health Dogs Animals Cute Sleep Shopping My ex Cats Job interview Clothes Miscellaneous Weird Holidays

The Top

Today, as a teacher, I was grading some essays when I yet again came across the word "unalive" when discussing the assassinations of JFK and Abraham Lincoln. As in, "JFK was unalived." I know language inevitably mutates over time, but us teachers don't have demonetization filters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 74

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 842

You deserved it 17 114

The Top

Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 581

You deserved it 3 325

Today, I got called "useless" by my mother for not doing what she wants me to do. She also said that I've accomplished nothing, and that I can’t and never will. It’s barely 10 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 161

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 116

You deserved it 3 784

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don’t have a life outside of him. I don’t have any friends other than him, nor do I have any hobbies or interests; he’s the centre of my world. Apparently this makes me too available, needy, and codependent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 1 191

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is still scared of his ex. It's been 8 months and our relationship is still "secret." Why? Because he's scared that she will find out and tell his family about us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 658

You deserved it 436

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 679

You deserved it 13 291

Same thing different taste

Poor pillow

Lock your doors

False alarm

Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths

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