Miscellaneous: Today, my dad created a new rule: It isn't old until there's...

By ohlordhelpmenow - 15/01/2012 03:54 - United States

Today, my dad created a new rule: It isn't old until there's mold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 510

You deserved it 2 698

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Same thing different taste

My house, my rules

By Bondi414 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dad made a new house rule: "If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, flush it down." My whole house now smells like piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 886

You deserved it 2 847

By moudly - 06/01/2010 21:28 - United States

Today, my mom finally believed me when I said I smelled mold. I lifted up the couch, and it was covered in mold. So were the bottoms of all our furniture, our beds, and my grandma's vintage chair. We've been living in mold for the past 4 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 624

You deserved it 5 001

Moldy excuse

By andrea - 02/05/2022 10:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my idiot daughter has allowed mold to grow in her shower. Her excuse? She thought it was just some “stains” that wouldn’t come out. Yeah, I don’t believe that. I think she knew it was mold and just didn’t care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 295

By Sick - 28/01/2017 16:00

Today, I noticed a thick layer of mold growing inside the straw of my water bottle. I use that bottle every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 739

You deserved it 4 751

Cruel summer

By Anonymous - 22/08/2021 22:01 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, it’s a rather wet summer and everything in our house is prone to mould. No, I’m not exaggerating when I say “everything”: I just found mould growing on the plates in the cupboard. And, no, we did not accidentally put them away unwashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 97

By Cheese luv - 21/09/2016 16:55 - Australia - Watson

Today, my father threw out my $100 wedge of blue cheese because it "smelled funny". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 000

You deserved it 2 245

By TheMysteriousTsundere - 03/11/2018 15:30

Today, my dad threw out all my food because a fly landed on a loaf of bread still in its package. He claims the bread and everything else that touched it is "contaminated". That was all the food I had for the rest of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 879

You deserved it 164

Hangover blues

By VibeCheck - 10/03/2020 07:57

Today, I woke up hungover and went to the kitchen for some food. I saw what I thought was a blueberry muffin. Halfway through eating it, I realized I couldn’t taste any blueberries, so I tried another one. I then remembered my dad telling me to throw out any old food we had. It was mould. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 1 840

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

By Anonymous - 01/05/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I noticed mold on my toothbrush. I have no idea how long it's been like that. I told my husband about it via text, and all he could say was, "Welp... ew." We've had a mold problem for years and I'm constantly sick. I also mentioned this and he sent me a shrugging emoji. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 147

By uncleaning - 22/07/2009 23:03 - United States

Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 589

You deserved it 4 599

perdix 29

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:38

Is he talking about food or women?

123josie123 11

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:31

The new version of 5second rule??

Comments

123josie123 11

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:31

The new version of 5second rule??

jellybeans4833 7

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:48

More like the 5 year rule for some foods. =_=;;

Pentium_4 27

Sunday 15 January 2012 10:49

i'm going to suggest this rule to my family lol

farnsworth 3

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:13

Call him moldy balls haha just kidding

kelseyyup 5

Monday 16 January 2012 4:13

I wish this was my family's rule. Even when there's mold me don't throw it out -.- we cut the mold off and keep eat. WTF WERE NOT POOR.

evilteddybear 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 3:46

Lol ur picture is so true

allen2688 6

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:36

Your picture is hella funny

Cassmoneyyy 15

Thursday 9 April 2015 20:52

If it's things like hard cheese, that's fine. If it's like bread, you could get sick.

halfbakedlogic 6

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:32

He's not your dad, until the DNA test verifies it, be glad!

HeavyScout 0

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:58

...right.

Michael_92 20

Sunday 15 January 2012 10:05

I think his username came into play on this one....

bizarre_ftw 21

Sunday 15 January 2012 10:17

The results are in!! Glad isn't an option anymore.

Shelbyyyyyyy 4

Sunday 15 January 2012 11:27

& that has to do with moldy food how??

nightingale96 2

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:34

THAT IS A WIN!!

Michael_92 20

Sunday 15 January 2012 10:15

How is it? I'm just curious on your logic.

eyyitsalejandra 0

Sunday 15 January 2012 11:01

I wouldn't consider mold on my food a win.

buck33 14

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:36

Tasty!

CalCommando 6

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:49

I read that in the voice the lady uses when you cook meat in Monster Hunter Tri, and I laughed so loud.

The_creator_fml 2

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:36

Expiration dates are overrated, except with milk.

killtin 2

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:37

Ya what is that milk goes bad like 2 days before the date blehh

PeteyPablo12308 20

Sunday 15 January 2012 10:52

Also with meat...

DCFan 9

Sunday 15 January 2012 11:43

AAAND... Birth Control.

MizzErikaHart 8

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:51

Actually milk stays good for a few days after the expiration date...

pompousjackass 10

Sunday 15 January 2012 13:28

sometimes weeks.

TheOnlyAlan 0

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:38

Our rule is, if you're not dead, it's not bad bread.

a1f0sff 25

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:43

Then you only know if the bread's fine after eating. Isn't it risky?

TheOnlyAlan 0

Sunday 15 January 2012 10:24

This is correct, it keeps the adrenaline going.

perdix 29

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:38

Is he talking about food or women?

jaredjudd21 2

Sunday 15 January 2012 11:04

Come on now it's obviously women.

Shelbyyyyyyy 4

Sunday 15 January 2012 11:25

10- bahahaha i love reading your comments.

thisisafunnyname 12

Sunday 15 January 2012 15:15

or men?

omfg_creepers 8

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:39

Does it matter what color of mold it is?

GoWithTheFro 10

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:40

Tell that to the food poisoning.

ladyLALAA 28

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:41

If it's brown drink it down, if it's black send it back!

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Weddings Love My ex Jealousy Friends AITA Embarrassing Health Poopoo peepee Relatable Therapy Mental health Thanksgiving Covid Argument Parenting Kids Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Money Work

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 518

You deserved it 389

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said, "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him every day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 532

You deserved it 32 701

The Top

Today, my sister asked to use my blow dryer, so I gave her the keys to my apartment. When I came home from work, half my clothes were missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 840

You deserved it 491

Today, I called the cops on this guy who kept emailing me without revealing who he was. I had told him that if he emailed me again, I would call the cops, so I did. Turns out it was my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 053

You deserved it 2 727

Today, my brother-in-law still insists on referring to me as "his brother's wife" and tells everyone I'm not his "sister-in-law." I've been married to his brother for 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 468

You deserved it 173

Today, I was getting a visit from a co-worker when my 6-year-old son came in to ask me where the ointment was. I said that it was in my room, so he went there and soon came back with a tube of KY jelly asking "is this it, mom?" I died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 148

You deserved it 1 052

Today, I applied for college graduation. Turns out my advisor screwed me over and now I'm 1 credit hour short of getting my degree. Now I have to wait another semester and pay $3,500 just to take a one hour class on Bowling so that I can graduate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 812

You deserved it 6 184

Today, my dad came home after collecting donations for construction of the temple of Lord Rama, who is known for qualities like patience. Within 5 minutes, he started yelling at my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 111

Same thing different taste

My house, my rules

Moldy excuse

Cruel summer

Hangover blues

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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