FML for mobile
Free

Open in app

All the FMLs

Custom job

By Anonymous - 13/03/2025 04:00 - United States - Thousand Oaks

Today, my toddler threw up on my one week old pair of white shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 26

Munchies

By Anonymous - 13/03/2025 18:00 - Australia

Today, I was munching on almonds while sitting through a long, boring Teams meeting. I was asked a question unexpectedly, causing me to choke while trying to swallow, right as I put the camera on & turned off mute. Some it sprayed out of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 41

Surprise visitor

By walker - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, we've been dating for over three months, but I went over my girlfriend's house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 824

You deserved it 4 937

Romance is dead

By Dead Bedrooms, here i come - 13/03/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I realized our life has been lacking in romance lately, so I got a card, a bunch of flowers, and made reservations at a lovely restaurant for a nice evening. When I got home and gave my wife the flowers, all she did was sigh and ask what I "fucked up this time." She also refused to go to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 45

How awkward can you get?

By Anonymous - 13/03/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was entertaining my date by suggesting a movie on Netflix. I confidently picked one that I thought was new and amazing. After the first 10 minutes, I realized it was a terrible sequel to a movie I'd completely forgotten about. I spent the rest of the movie in silence, pretending I was into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 256

Rookie mistake

By George P - 12/03/2025 22:00 - Canada

Today, I went up to a cute barista at the coffee shop and told her, “You make the best coffee, like seriously, you could make a career out of it.” She gave me a weird look and responded, “I AM a barista.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 343

Waiting for that trickle down

By amused - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I looked at my bank balance. It read $1.23. That's higher than it usually is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 760

You deserved it 8 804

Friends for life

By Anonymous - 12/03/2025 10:00 - United States

Today, my longtime crush and best friend got a new girlfriend, with the same interests him and I share. Despite us being compatible in interests, he just never saw me in a romantic way. When I asked if we’re so alike, what does she have that I don’t? He said, “Trust me, you don’t want to know the answer.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 412

Toxic assholes

By Anonymous - 12/03/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I overheard some gossip and learned I’m apparently the department weirdo everybody tolerates, but don’t actually like. It’s like high school all over again. Now, everywhere I go, I can feel my coworkers tolerating me just for being myself. I’ve already cried 3 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 99

Thanks Dave, good one

By tech_support - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Sweden

Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 952

You deserved it 4 600

Gushing

By Anonymous - 11/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, we had to turn the water off due to a massive leak in the kitchen sink that the plumber was currently fixing. I managed to wait two hours before my uncooperative digestive tract said it couldn't wait any longer and I had to take a mega dump in the bathroom. I couldn't flush the toilet or wash my hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 74

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 11/03/2025 18:00 - United States - Fox River Grove

Today, I had the abortion my husband and I agreed on, after multiple forms of birth control failed. His family somehow found out, and now they're all mad at us for not telling them I was ever pregnant, with a child we never wanted, and took precautions to avoid creating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 146

Many such cases

By Link - 11/03/2025 17:00 - United States - Pittsfield

Today, a friend was moving away, and they told me go grab their credit card. I did, and she bought me Dunkin' Donuts, then I tripped and dumped both our drinks. Into her face. I tried to say "Fuck!" and "I didn't mean to do that to you!" but ended up yelling "FUCK YOU!" in the middle of a parking lot. I never saw her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 325

Served cold

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 440

You deserved it 4 893

Irritation

By Anonymous - 11/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I have family over and even though they can see I'm stepping away to go take a shower, instead of interacting with my child who they supposedly love, they ignore her to the point where she comes crying to the bathroom door. So now I gotta move quicker? FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 151

Feeling real worked out

By Anonymous - 11/03/2025 11:00

Today, the lights went out at the gym while I was holding a heavy bar. I tried to put it back on the rack, missed, and dropped it on my toe. Then, as I was limping around in pain, I hit my head on one of the other bars on a rack at head height. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 83

Fixed it

By Own goal - 11/03/2025 09:00 - Netherlands

Today, my fiance finally began seeing a therapist, after months of my begging him to. The therapist convinced him that he and I had "irreconcilable differences" so now he's asked for the ring back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 182

As usual

By jadakorn - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got home and threw my phone onto my bed as usual. This time it bounced out the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 378

You deserved it 29 634

The Cure's "Why Can't I Be You?"

By Anonymous - 10/03/2025 22:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I saw this other trans man at college. He comes from a very accepting family, who let him go on testosterone. He’s so handsome, I’m so jealous. I get an ache in my chest when I see him. I can't help but think, "How is this fair? Why can’t I be that handsome?" I feel so disgusting for being jealous of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 357

Hash it out

By Anonymous - 10/03/2025 16:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I walked out of our house. My wife suddenly became quiet again because she was mad at me for an unknown reason. It's always like this, and it annoys me every time. She has too much pride and doesn't want to talk things out. I feel so sad, especially since we have a five-month-old baby. I want to break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 119

Pesky ghosts

By Anonymous - 10/03/2025 22:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was walking down the hallway of my office, texting and not paying attention, when I tripped on… nothing. I just practically face-planted onto the floor, and when I looked up, people chatting in the hallway were staring at me, and asked me if I had tripped over my own foot or if a ghost had pranked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 356

The strangeness of strangers

By Anonymous - 10/03/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I felt ready to trust men again so I had a little foray into Tinder, just to see what’s out there for a divorcee in her 40s. The very first guy I matched with catfished me with his photo and wanted to buy my dirty undies and socks, in a ziplock bag “to preserve the aroma.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 85

Assumption

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my friend asked me how I did on my test. I got an 85%. She asked me what my secret was, and I said, "I'm just smart." She replied, "No you're not. How did you pull it off?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 232

You deserved it 6 739

Job performance

By AZlan - 10/03/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was in a long meeting and desperately needed to fart. I carefully tried to release it slowly, but of course, it was the loudest fart I've ever made. Just after it happened, my boss looked at me and said, “That's the best contribution you've ever made in one of these meetings.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 279

Thanks?

By Sheila - 10/03/2025 12:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I wore a new outfit that I thought was super cute. I was feeling confident until a seemingly drunk woman came up to me in a bar, tapped me on the shoulder, and said, “I don’t know what you were going for with this", gesturing at my outfit, "but it’s not working.” Then she stumbled off to join her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 72

Stressed out

By Anonymous - 10/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Memphis

Today, I was in a packed elevator when I heard a loud noise. I assumed someone had farted, so I tried to discreetly turn around and hold my breath. To my horror, the loud noise was actually the elevator malfunctioning and dropping a few floors. I made it even more awkward by holding my breath, and the guy next to me asked, “You good?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 257

Dishwasher issues

By 3Airwalk3 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was washing a stainless steel pot at my kitchen job. Every time I pulled it out of the dishwasher and examined it for dirt, I saw something orange inside it. After 3 run-throughs, I realized it was just my shirt's reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 094

You deserved it 36 492

Leaving blues

By Anonymous - 10/03/2025 03:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was at the airport waiting for my flight when I realized I had forgotten my passport at home. I panicked, called my mom in a frenzy, only to realize I was holding my passport in my wallet the entire time. It was so embarrassing, and my mom will probably never let me forget it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 382

Many such cases

By Diane - 09/03/2025 22:00 - Canada

Today, I sent a text to my best friend venting about how terrible my date was going. I called the guy I was with a "clueless idiot." I sent it to my date instead of my friend. He responded with, “I’m sitting right in front of you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 721

I'm done

By Anonymous - 09/03/2025 20:00 - Canada

Today, I was using a public restroom when the lights suddenly turned off. Panicking, I waved my arms around, trying to trigger the motion sensor, but nothing happened. I had to finish in the dark, and as I was leaving, the janitor noticed me, turned the lights back on, and said, “Yeah, I turned those off earlier to save power. Hope you were OK in there.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 81

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Coworkers Work Money Health Awkward Intimacy Sex Love Cheating Parents Engagement Family Proposal Miscellaneous Delivery Customers Painful Coffee Embarrassing Friends Relatable Weddings Shoes Gross Kids Scary Phobias Spiders Romantic TV shows

The Top

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 68

Today, I lost my job to the individual I just finished training. Within 2 hours after being escorted out, my old boss called and yelled at me for doing a lousy job. He was angry that the training was deficient and because the new person is as bad as I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 690

You deserved it 1 433

The Top

Today, my country went on strike and is overthrowing the government, and I'm stuck on a night shift at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 456

You deserved it 148

Today, some kid was scratching the side of my car with a brick so I yelled at him, then I yelled at his parents. They didn’t speak English and when cops arrived they told me I should have been more understanding and I was lucky not to be charged with verbally assaulting them. WHAT THE FUCK? FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 108

Today, I went to the movies. A really cute girl sat beside me. I tried to strike up a conversation with her until she turned to look at me and I realized he was a guy. I couldn't even finish the movie because I felt his judging eyes burn holes into me the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 742

You deserved it 6 766

Today, I went on a date. I'm a big Disney fan, so naturally the topic came up. He said, "The only Disney movie I didn't really like was Pocahontas." I have a Pocahontas tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 578

You deserved it 583

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend at a dinner with our two families. Not only did she flatly reject me, my dad said, "Good call. He's not ready." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 977

You deserved it 6 802

Today, I had a dream where I was with my last girlfriend, from five years ago. Nothing dirty. Just leaning on each other, talking, and smiling. Woke up and felt like she was really here, and now I miss her as much as when she had to leave the country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 131