Work: Today, I was told I've secured the job I applied for at my local...

By Anonymous - 11/03/2013 01:51 - United States - Portland

Today, I was told I've secured the job I applied for at my local hospital. Being just 19, this is a great opportunity, and I told my parents. They angrily asked if I'd applied just to get access to drugs, then demanded to know how I'd managed to pass the drug test. Thanks for the confidence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 384

You deserved it 2 931

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Confused - 13/05/2013 14:39 - United States - Bath

Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 630

You deserved it 3 144

How is that fair?

By Anonymous - 23/12/2013 00:58 - United States - Dekalb

Today, I found out I was passed over for the promotion I've wanted for 9 months at the fast food restaurant I work in. Who got the job? The 16 year old girl I trained 2 weeks ago. Their excuse was, "She has ambition." I'm going to college for food service management. She failed her drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 605

You deserved it 4 240

Never trust a cookie

By Anonymous - 06/01/2022 14:01

Today, I'm a proud non drug user, but I trusted an oat cookie at my brother's birthday, which was loaded with pot. Tomorrow is our mandatory drug screening at work, my job is government based, and I worked my ass off to get it. Anyone who tests positive or misses the test is sacked immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 628

You deserved it 185

By Ineedlotsofwater - 23/01/2015 16:41 - United States - Seattle

Today, I found out why I receive random drug tests at work. The safety department was specifically told by my boss to check up on me because I always seem way too cheerful to not be high. I've passed every single test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 730

You deserved it 2 737

By drug testing - 09/05/2013 22:22 - United States - Little Chute

Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 141

You deserved it 15 325

By DantesInfernalRage - 12/09/2017 13:00

Today, I had to resign from my job because I tested positive for drugs. I've never taken drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 933

You deserved it 260

By Pissssd - 31/08/2009 01:56 - United States

Today, I interviewed for a job at a pharmaceutical lab. During the interview, I said something about a past work experience that made the interviewers think that I would enjoy doing something similar to that... so they gave me a warehouse job instead. I have a degree in chemistry and biology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 931

You deserved it 4 083

Brief break

By daddyowl - 25/05/2012 04:32 - Canada - Montreal

Today, after five months of unemployment and hardcore job searching, I got hired for my dream job. I called my mum to tell her all about it, to which she responded, "Great honey! Now all you need to do is lose all that weight." She allowed me all of four minutes of feeling good about myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 301

You deserved it 3 023

Make your minds up

By Remy - 16/11/2013 23:39 - United States - Portland

Today, I was offered a job that pays far more than I expected, being a high school senior. My parents decided they aren't letting me take the job, saying I should enjoy my childhood. They're also not paying for my college, which is why I was looking for work in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 036

You deserved it 3 108

Thanks, I hate it

By kkkk - 31/01/2011 15:44

Today, the company I applied for called up congratulating me in getting the job. I was ecstatic. Quickly enough I texted a few mates that I'd got the job. Twenty minutes later they called again, saying the trainee had accidentally called the wrong applicant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 570

You deserved it 2 981

ihpp 22

Monday 11 March 2013 5:37

Congrats on the new job.

Quinn32 16

Monday 11 March 2013 5:38

They need advice so they can pass their drug tests at work.

Comments

ihpp 22

Monday 11 March 2013 5:37

Congrats on the new job.

AKGirlinSD 20

Monday 11 March 2013 8:16

What 1 said, OP's parents should have said. Be proud of yourself, OP, and prove your parents are wrong!

ladyLALAA 28

Monday 11 March 2013 12:34

Congratulations OP! Now... Can I get access to the drugs through you?

Quinn32 16

Monday 11 March 2013 5:38

They need advice so they can pass their drug tests at work.

joshiepo0 18

Monday 11 March 2013 6:04

Synthetic urine is the best option.

Smashhoof 15

Monday 11 March 2013 6:43

Don't eat poppy seed bagels!

imyy 20

Monday 11 March 2013 13:17

Sounds like they may be a bit guilty, suspecting you so strongly without reason! Swipe their pee (somehow), use it for your test (when they test you at home), and when you fail - tell them you used theirs :-)

jkmartinjk 16

Monday 11 March 2013 5:39

Meh didn't need their congrats anyway... Good luck at the new job OP!

MrBurnard 7

Monday 11 March 2013 13:02

Do people never look from the parent's perspective.. Why did they ask that, is she a known or recovering addict? Parents, okay not all, but generally wouldn't be arseholes for no reason

skulltorn 8

Monday 11 March 2013 13:09

After seeing the word "arsehole", I'm going to assume you are not American. Let me tell you something about the United States, parents here are complete assholes!!!! Most have good intentions but are still asshole.

SomeRandomGuy15 18

Monday 11 March 2013 15:41

There are arsehole parents everywhere, not just in the US. And why does saying arsehole mean they're not from the US...?

dorworters 9

Monday 11 March 2013 16:59

because most people here dont talk like that...

gg27787 6

Tuesday 12 March 2013 22:03

Because the majority of people from the U.S. say ass instead of arse. And he's not altogether wrong about the parents either.

boofgall 16

Monday 11 March 2013 5:40

Sounds like some very unsupportive parents. Forget their opinion, congratulations OP!

t_Wag13 7

Monday 11 March 2013 5:41

Did you pass it?

VannahJane 17

Monday 11 March 2013 6:03

Obviously otherwise OP wouldn't have gotten the job

moonsalt 20

Monday 11 March 2013 5:42

They're just jealous you're so successful at such a young age. ;)

ironichalibut 24

Monday 11 March 2013 5:44

But you can get the drugs? Don't hold out on me man.

tacojauns 45

Monday 11 March 2013 5:46

I can just imagine OP saying " because there wasn't one"

BadApple88 29

Monday 11 March 2013 5:49

Congrats and just prove them wrong

SuperdudeGuy 8

Monday 11 March 2013 5:52

Just don't become a pharmacist and they won't be too upset.

SomeRandomGuy15 18

Monday 11 March 2013 15:51

Yeah, OP, don't be selfish! Give up your job and ruin your future for the sake of your idiot parents!

dorworters 9

Monday 11 March 2013 17:01

youre aware that a pharmacist and a doctor...are not the same thing...right? you seem to be under the impression that what you said is the sarcastic version of the comment to which you replied.