Work: Today, one of my co-workers was fired after my manager discovered...

By Anonymous - 13/07/2013 21:10 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, one of my co-workers was fired after my manager discovered him pissing in the office coffee pot. I had three cups before I found out what had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 013

You deserved it 4 424

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Same thing different taste

By jeed(1) - 25/08/2013 21:36 - France - Marseille

Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 675

You deserved it 5 297

Boozing on the job

By paulcorrea95 - 21/09/2019 06:07 - United States

Today, I was at work, cleaning up a construction site. I picked up a beer can and accidentally spilled some of it on me. My boss came in to check on me and thought I was drunk. Instead of getting a raise, I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 798

You deserved it 194

By Anonymous - 02/10/2011 20:35 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 920

You deserved it 14 874

By DingusGinger - 21/04/2019 02:00

Today, I found out my boss likes to shit talk about me when I'm not around. The best part is that I don't know what I've done to piss him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 059

You deserved it 164

By koletatlow19 - 05/03/2010 05:23 - Canada

Today, my boss fired me because I "didn't get the right kind of coffee beans." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 070

You deserved it 3 846

By jobless - 10/04/2015 06:28 - United States - Fort Collins

Today, my boss fired me by locking me out of my workplace after I went out to throw out the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 664

You deserved it 2 511

By DonPedro - 16/01/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 862

You deserved it 11 396

FREAKOUT!

By peachesthepigeon - 19/01/2011 18:54 - United States

Today, at work, I helped out an employee who was having trouble. I even bought her a bottle of water. After the production manager decided to fire her on the spot, she went out in the parking lot and broke into several cars, including mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 202

You deserved it 2 688

By hanmart - 15/11/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 457

You deserved it 2 641

Too demanding

By Anonymous - 23/06/2022 18:00 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, my work decided to fire me. Three days ago, I sat down with my boss and asked if they could fix the sewage leak in my office, and maybe look into how loud it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 75

ironichalibut 24

Sunday 14 July 2013 10:21

I bet you're pissed. Sorry, I had to FML..

emiluh 8

Sunday 14 July 2013 10:23

Urine trouble lol

Comments

ironichalibut 24

Sunday 14 July 2013 10:21

I bet you're pissed. Sorry, I had to FML..

ironichalibut 24

Sunday 14 July 2013 10:24

They say coffee makes you have to piss, but this time, piss made the coffee?

FindingYujin 26

Sunday 14 July 2013 11:28

He/she'll be urinating someone elses urine. D:

iluvFMLs15 19

Sunday 14 July 2013 14:07

haha good one!!

Bloodjoker 11

Sunday 14 July 2013 14:54

If I had a nickel for everytime I drank someone else's pee ^_^..... I'd have way too many nickels :'(

LeFrogDog 27

Sunday 14 July 2013 21:51

well our coffee tastes like crap

TheAuditor 4

Saturday 10 August 2013 17:14

First thought: Austin Powers.

uniteandfight 9

Wednesday 19 February 2014 2:02

Comments like this don't get +203 for no reason.

emiluh 8

Sunday 14 July 2013 10:23

Urine trouble lol

cottoncandymango 17

Sunday 14 July 2013 10:25

How'd it taste? I'd be so pissed off.

AboveAll04 14

Sunday 14 July 2013 10:52

I guess it tasted amazing since he had three cups lol :)

timelessone 16

Sunday 14 July 2013 11:31

Here, have a cup of piss.... I mean Joe. Oh you want more? well of course ;)

Zack6849 8

Sunday 14 July 2013 11:57

A cup of Joe's piss.

buckerado 19

Sunday 14 July 2013 16:57

It's better to be pissed off than getting pissed on...

mosquito19 14

Sunday 14 July 2013 10:29

no wonder everyone in my office brings their own coffee

Joseph980000 6

Sunday 14 July 2013 10:38

Nobody cares

liltwistism 12

Sunday 14 July 2013 22:13

I doubt your office has the same problem.

CammyGal 26

Sunday 14 July 2013 10:30

Looks like urine a bit off a mess. I'd be pretty pissed off if I were you, were the streams of coffee worth it?

myusernametaken 3

Sunday 14 July 2013 14:56

Dude, it was funny at first with the urine. You took it too far with the 'streams'.

solus_fml 12

Sunday 14 July 2013 10:30

Now his perfect tract record is down the toilet.

boofgall 16

Sunday 14 July 2013 10:31

That's what my works coffee taste like on its own.

fakedsincerity 32

Sunday 14 July 2013 10:36

Might want to see a doctor about your broken palate if you didn't notice. D:

MakeTodayADTR 20

Sunday 14 July 2013 10:38

Hey John, does the coffee taste a little different today? I don't know if I like it or not. I better have two more cups.

chanellgymnast 17

Sunday 14 July 2013 10:39

Unpeelievable!

Keywords

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Today, my girlfriend will only have sex when she's on her period, because it's the only time she gets horny. She also gets body acne, bloating, and utterly foul BO and gas. The sex is so unpleasant, I'm starting to wish she just got cranky and emotional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 211

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 391

You deserved it 115 808

The Top

Today, I was going through my sibling’s old phones from high school, trying to find pictures of our deceased father. It turns out that all my girlfriends had sent my brother nudes at one point or another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 265

You deserved it 208

Today, my dad refused to pick me up because he didn't want to get off the couch, so I had to walk for an hour and a half to get home. When I finally got home, my dad had gone out to pick my sister up from her friend's house. Her friend lives a 3-minute walk away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 179

You deserved it 776

Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close it because I'd seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 1 147

Today, I discovered that Paolo has a big penis, that he's good in bed and that the hotel sheets still remember it all. Mum, the walls won't get any thicker just 'cause you're on the telephone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 189

You deserved it 2 166

Today, my mom was driving with my brothers and sister in the back seat. She was turned around talking to us, when my sister told my mom that she missed the light. She ran it, then screamed at us about not paying attention and noticing your surroundings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 451

You deserved it 1 560

Today, I was at my summer babysitting job. The family's dog puked on the carpet and I proceeded to clean it up with baking soda and a mix of water/vinegar. Instead of blending in with the other areas of the carpet, the one spot I cleaned is white while the other areas are still darkened by filth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 694

You deserved it 2 389

Same thing different taste

Boozing on the job

FREAKOUT!

Too demanding

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