orangesunny

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Orangesunny's favorite FMLs

By John W. - 12/10/2011 12:37 - United States

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 643

You deserved it 47 038

Behind closed doors

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Mansfield

Today, my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment, and when she heard it, she exclaimed, "Hey my daddy can sound just like you! Show him daddy! Show him!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 218

You deserved it 45 153

By Anonymous - 10/01/2013 12:20 - Slovakia

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 097

You deserved it 9 624

By georgiamarshall_ - 09/01/2013 10:42 - Australia - Sydney

Today, at work, a little girl came in and asked if we had any dance clothes. As I showed her, I asked if she was in a competition. When she said yes, I crossed my fingers and told her I hoped she would win. Unfortunately, I didn't cross them properly and I accidentally gave her the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 400

You deserved it 34 158

georgiamarshall_ tells us more.

georgiamarshall_ 11

Thursday 10 January 2013 3:11

Hi all! Original poster here. I understand most of you don't think it's possible to accidentally stick your finger up instead of crossing them, but it's kind of an in group joke with all of my work friends that we flip the bird to each other. I guess habit took over! I am so ashamed, but at least she didn't realise what it meant and her mother wasn't around!

By Anonymous - 01/01/2013 10:30 - United States - Wichita

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 918

You deserved it 15 162