All the FMLs

Evel Knievel tribute act

By Anonymous - 25/02/2026 15:00

Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 45

Don't give in

By Concerned User - 25/02/2026 12:00

Today, no one in my circle of friends cares about Discord's privacy violations except me. I've explained it to all of them, but they're only worried about whether they personally have to send in ID verification, not about the fact that their user information will be collected and stored regardless! FML

I agree, your life sucks 31

You deserved it 60

Ungrateful

By Anonymous - 25/02/2026 09:00

Today, I surprised my 10-year-old nephew with an invitation to my family's upcoming Disney Cruise for his birthday, since he previously said he wanted to go. He said no. He'd "changed his mind." The ticket is nonrefundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 25

Oh no…

By Lentil - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, who had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 436

You deserved it 3 977

Commited

By Anonymous - 25/02/2026 03:00

Today, my wife demanded a divorce and full custody of our younger kids, all because I had our drug-addicted daughter arrested for theft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 42

Superman

By Anonymous - 25/02/2026 00:00

Today, it was made clear to me my baby brother has been letting me win all our fights, because I accidentally left my truck parking brake off so it started rolling down the street, and he caught it and dragged it to a full stop. That things weighs almost a tonne. I can’t fight him anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 212

Heavy sleeper

By Carm - 24/02/2026 22:00

Today, my cat thought it would be a GREAT idea to sleep in my bag. I only found out when I was driving to work. He isn’t allowed outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 79

Oral relief

By Anonymous - 24/02/2026 20:00

Today, I went to the store with my mask on, as usual. As I walked past a guy, he reached out and tore the mask off my face, revealing my secret: a pacifier I use to control my horrible anxiety and agoraphobia. I froze, then collapsed to the ground screaming, and had a stress-triggered seizure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 320

Smoke 'em if you've got 'em

By Dumbweed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 306

You deserved it 68 017

Three days?

By Anonymous - 24/02/2026 15:00

Today, my girlfriend of three entire days broke up with me. She said it was because she needed to recover from her breakup, but that was nine months ago, and I haven't done a single thing wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 75

Occupational hasard

By Anonymous - 24/02/2026 12:00

Today, while at work as a digital personal shopper at Walmart I was done picking, so I went to go put the cart away. I ended up hitting a coworker because she was crouched down cleaning something. I felt so bad and now I’m scared I’m going to get fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 60

Cynically poisoned

By Anonymous - 24/02/2026 09:00

Today, I rejected my crush's prom proposal because I didn't think he was being serious and wanted to prank me or something. Turns out he was serious but now he's going with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 525

FIRE!

By chinesef000d - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 250

You deserved it 3 235

Did it taste good at least?

By Anonymous - 24/02/2026 03:00

Today, I popped something straight out of the oven into my mouth. It burned my tongue instantly, but instead of spitting it out, I swallowed. I felt it burning all the way down. Now I can’t eat solid food or drink hot drinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 481

No way she'll be a Karen

By Anonymous - 24/02/2026 00:00

Today, while picking names for our unborn daughter, my mom decided to help by providing a list of names she absolutely won’t accept because they’re all women she hates for insane reasons. It has over 300 common names on it. Every time we pick another name, boom, there it is on her damn list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 89

He's a keeper

By Anonymous - 23/02/2026 22:00

Today, my mom announced that she's getting back together with my stepdad, who just got out of prison. He was in prison because he beat her, choked her, and caused her to have a miscarriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 47

My little boy

By stubble - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I had to meet my mother. Being a college student, I decided I was too lazy to shave this morning. She noticed the stubble on my face, and started crying because I'm growing up. I'm 23 years-old. My dad yelled at me for making my mom cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 233

You deserved it 3 538

How could you?

By Anonymous - 23/02/2026 15:00

Today, I'm being called despicable, cruel, and heartless because I refused to take in my deceased sister's four kids, which resulted in them being put in separate foster homes. I'm 20, live in a tiny studio apartment, and attend college and work full-time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 588

You deserved it 69

Zealous new convert

By Anonymous - 23/02/2026 12:00

Today, my daughter told me that now that she's a Christian, I can no longer see my grandchildren unless I repent from my "homosexual lifestyle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 125

Panic

By Anonymous - 23/02/2026 09:00

Today, I was supposed to be on my way to Hawaii for a long-planned family vacation, but I had an anxiety attack that I couldn't explain. Now I'm lying in bed and crying, and my phone is blowing up with texts and calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 177

Great job!

By spleechick - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I decided to bleach my belly hair. I bought some body hair bleach at the drug store, and I used it exactly as instructed. When I removed it, I was horrified to see my belly was about three shades lighter than the rest of my body. The hair was still exactly the same darkness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 458

You deserved it 24 930

Jumping the gun

By Anonymous - 23/02/2026 03:00

Today, I canceled our wedding that was scheduled for tomorrow because my fiancee's father passed away unexpectedly this morning. She got furious when I told her, because she still wanted to go through with it, and said that her dad would have wanted us to. Now she's not speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 565

With all due respect

By Anonymous - 23/02/2026 00:00

Today, at work, an obese woman insisted she took a size 5 shoe, despite me measuring her at a size 11. Then when the 5 I politely fetched for her didn’t come close to fitting, she told the manager I was fatshaming her. Her feet were ham joints below cankles as thick as my thigh. She stank too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 60

Slow down

By any future girls must take an IQ test - 22/02/2026 20:00

Today, my brain-dead now-ex-fiancee "read on the internet" that cops can't give you a ticket at home, so when a cop tried to pull her for speeding on the way home from work, she sped up and rushed home. What would have been a $200 fine is now serious charges and jail time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 65

Absolute beginner

By scardeycat13 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went snowboarding for the first time. I was so scared that I passed out. I was only on the kiddie hill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 472

You deserved it 10 892

Sad boat

By Anonymous - 22/02/2026 15:00

Today, my best friend died in a car accident. I'm currently on a cruise with my family and my parents refuse to pay for me to go home early, which means I'm likely going to miss the funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 73

Just the tit

By Anonymous - 22/02/2026 12:00

Today, I had to explain to my husband that while trying to figure out how to make coffee on our stupid new machine, I was in fact nude, so when I finally got it to work and steam came hissing out of the nozzle, I got first degree burn on my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 312

So close…

By Anonymous - 22/02/2026 09:00

Today, my wife and I had to cancel our family vacation to the Atlantis resort in the Bahamas that we had planned for almost two years and spent thousands on, because our son tripped over his suitcase and dislocated his ankle as we were leaving to go to the airport. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 65

Rough

By vela9002 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, on my flight to Vegas, I was wishing that a really cute guy would come sit in the seat next to mine. A few minutes later, a really cute guy sat in the seat next to me, and even started to talk to me. When I said, "I like rugged men," he said, "Oh yeah, me too, I really like buff guys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 942

You deserved it 13 863

Is that a threat?

By Excessive Force - 22/02/2026 03:00

Today, my boss, who was in a heated dispute with a difficult employee, called me via our office chat program to deal with him. The program interrupts whatever you do, making it the priority window. I was in a chat with another colleague, making my response that they both saw, "I have many bullets to spare!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 145

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, while applying for jobs, every single application has been giving me the error message, "Name not valid." Sorry the name my parents gave me isn’t good enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 121

Today, a week after my 10-year anniversary, I realized I've somehow been roped into hosting my husband's crush's birthday party with all their friends. My gift to myself was a $60 bottle of whiskey that won't arrive in time to help me with my debilitating social anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 468

You deserved it 366

Today, my brother stole my hard drive and wiped it. My hard drive had a 10-page school project on it. The project is due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 399

You deserved it 261

Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 483

You deserved it 2 925

Today, a drunk driver drove his car through my mailbox. He got pissed, started yelling, and threatened to sue me for "putting the mailbox in the middle of the road". If my front lawn is a road, I'm going to have some serious issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 407

You deserved it 2 765

Today, I found out my mom is getting rid of cable TV. My dad and I bought her a 700 dollar plasma screen TV for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 762

You deserved it 3 430