All the FMLs

That was quick

By Anonymous - 13/02/2026 22:00

Today, my ex started dating the girl he kept telling me not to worry about. We broke up three hours ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 2

Broke ass

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Higginsville

Today, I was home from college and went to eat at a local mexican place. The manager started yelling at me about an unpaid tab. Apparently, my dad likes to drink there and skipped on his tab. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 807

You deserved it 322

Good neighbors

By S. from 45B - 13/02/2026 15:00

Today, I moved into a new place. I wanted to be a good neighbor so I baked banana bread and knocked on the door across the hall. The woman looked terrified, said “No thank you,” and closed the door. Building security later asked why I was “soliciting food.” Turns out there’s been a string of fake delivery scams in the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 22

Pranks are shit

By milk plz - 13/02/2026 12:00

Today, my wife got me back for hiding a realistic tarantula replica in her underwear drawer. She ground up hot peppers and horseradish and shoved it in my mouth while I slept. I woke up screaming in pain and went to the hospital before she confessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 158

Hate the game, not the player

By Anonymous - 13/02/2026 09:00

Today, I really liked this girl, and it seemed like she maybe liked me too. We texted a lot, she invited me to a party, and we played games together. I asked her out, worried about waiting too long, but got a really ambiguous answer. Now she’s playing the same games she used to ask me to play, just with a different guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 42

Beach body

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replied, "You farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 709

You deserved it 8 000

The spice of life

By Anonymous - 13/02/2026 03:00

Today, my girlfriend invited me over to her family’s house for dinner. Every dish was packed with onion, garlic, pepper, and some spices I couldn’t even identify. I couldn’t actually taste the meat or the side dishes. All the nuance had been obliterated. I think they might not have taste buds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 195

Overreacting

By Anonymous - 13/02/2026 00:00

Today, I thought my man was cheating on me. I took a screenshot his bank transactions because I found a woman’s name. I went down a rabbit hole and it turned out it’s the name of an actual store / company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33

You deserved it 424

Prank gone wrong

By Anonymous - 12/02/2026 22:00

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to make me hold an unlit cigarette before FaceTiming my mom so he could prank her by saying, "He's got a new habit." My mom did not find it funny, especially when I mentioned to her that I did not willingly participate. Now I'm stuck in this car, listening to them argue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 51

Hey good lookin'

By Juggalomayne - 12/02/2026 20:00

Today, at the library, I saw my ex for the first time in two years, about 100lbs lighter and super hot. She’s engaged now. I asked her why she couldn’t do that for me when we were together. She replied, “Because my man loved me at my worst, unlike you. So he deserves me at my best. Have a nice day.” and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 778

Tasty treat

By ManchotDesAndes - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - France - Bezons

Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 478

You deserved it 11 308

In the Navy

By Anonymous - 12/02/2026 12:00

Today, while I was sleeping on the sofa, my sister yelled right in my ear, "Attention on deck !" I jumped up so fast because I thought a superior officer had just walked in that I tripped over my own feet and smashed into our mom's glass fronted display case full of porcelain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 62

Sprightly

By Anonymous - 12/02/2026 09:00

Today, my husband (M72) and I (F69) had yet another argument over all the time he spends away from home doing hobbies and volunteering. After an emotional conversation about my moving out, he said, "Well, if we are done talking about that, let me tell you what I got to do today." Biggest emotional slap ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 331

Driver 8

By _guy_j - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Glendora

Today, my brother got a job as an Uber driver. Now, whenever I need a ride from him, he insists I pay him money through the app. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 452

You deserved it 3 558

Damn, girl!

By just lemme smash - 12/02/2026 03:00

Today, my wife has quit nicotine. As expected, she's put on some weight, but it's all gone to her butt, boobs, and hips. She looks better than ever, easily 5 years younger, but she's so upset about the weight gain that she refuses to let me touch her, and she wears baggy clothes 24/7 now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 73

A lot going on

By Anonymous - 12/02/2026 00:00

Today, it was the seventh anniversary of my grandfather's passing. It was also my cousin's funeral (suicide). Brad Arnold's death was also announced. At the end of an exhausting day, I got dumped. Fuck February 8th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 50

True love waits

By Sad egg - 11/02/2026 20:00

Today, I learned that Discord will require age verification to access adult servers starting in a month. I'm 12 and about to lose access to 90% of my social life for six years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 570

Mission impossible

By isaidfuckoff - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my girlfriend came back from her mission trip with hickies all over her boobs. She said it wasn't cheating because she was doing God's work and that they canceled each other out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 804

You deserved it 2 872

Bad trip

By Anonymous - 11/02/2026 15:00

Today, after I flew 16 hours across the world to see my girlfriend, on the fifth day of the holiday we broke up because she ended up telling me she "can't do distance." After all those hours of flying, we spent the last 3 days in the hotel room mostly crying, and I asked her face to face, "Why did you break me?" She left; I'm broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 78

More help needed!

By Emma - 11/02/2026 09:00

Today, it's only four days until my high school's Valentines Day dance. I want to ask my best guy friend - I'm an 18 year-old girl - but I'm always thinking of my BFF, also an 18 year-old girl. No we're not gay, but our conversations have taught me we - two straight teen girls - may be soul mates. What should I do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 272

Hermit

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Orlando

Today, I had a dream that I was making pancakes. I need to get out more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 869

You deserved it 4 834

Karma delivers

By Anonymous - 11/02/2026 03:00

Today, while squishing a stink bug, it sprayed directly in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 339

Spice of life

By mustanggt - 11/02/2026 00:00

Today, I hit rock bottom. I waited too long to go to the grocery store and am out of almost everything. There's no salt left. What can I even cook to be edible without salt? FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 387

Decisions, decisions

By Which to choose? - 10/02/2026 22:00

Today, I realized I have two guys interested in me. One is a boring lump who has a good job and takes me to nice places, and the other is a hilarious hot sexy goofball who can't hold down a job and shamelessly mooches off me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 497

That was quick

By chiquisamantha09 - 10/02/2026 20:00

Today, I went to a Speed Dating event because the apps just ain’t doing it for me. After a while of talking, the first guy I sat with told me, “You are way too out of shape to have high standards and expectations.” I got up and left the place in tears. This is the world of dating while plus-sized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 341

What? WHAT?

By anon - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, I went to 7-11, where the cashier asked me if I had the app to get rewards. She then looked at me and said, "Never mind, I can tell you don't." I guess I have no control over my resting bitch face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 259

You deserved it 2 210

Please sign

By Anonymous - 10/02/2026 12:00

Today, I contacted my ex asking him to please sign away his parental rights so that my husband could legally adopt my son. My ex hasn’t seen my son in nearly 10 years and wants nothing to do with him. However, he won’t sign because in his exact words, “You don’t deserve happiness.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 106

Mix and match

By Nicky - 10/02/2026 09:00

Today, I started to paint the top of a piece of furniture. My husband had painted the sides a few months ago. I sanded/prepped. He went to buy the paint he had used. I was half done when I stepped back and saw that the colors didn't match. He forgot what he used, so he bought whatever, and "thought it would be OK." FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 79

Down in the dumps

By lolographic24 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Norway

Today, it was my turn to take out the trash. While walking to the dumpster, I slip and fall. It doesn't really hurt, so I get up and go to the dumpster, but the top is frozen stuck. It won't budge. Then I really pull with a lot of force, and the lid swings open and busts my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 622

You deserved it 4 203

Beliefs

By Martina - 10/02/2026 03:00

Today, I’m pregnant with my boyfriend’s baby. He’s been saying he’s gonna leave his wife for the past 10 months, but there’s constant hemming and hawing. He wants me to get rid of the baby because, “I’ve already raised my own child for 19 years, I don’t got time for this.” I’m Catholic and don’t believe in abortion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 1 212

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my roommate is rampaging in the house at 1:00 a.m. because her stuff was moved out of the pantry for the new person, after being asked several times to move it herself. Apparently, she didn't see the text message heads-up, because she refuses to use her phone as a source of connection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 131

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 859

You deserved it 6 170

Today, my ex sent me a pack of beer to screw with me. I'm still going to AA, and I thought I was almost over it. Five bottles later, I realized I'm not. We didn't break up over my drinking, either; it was because after just 2 weeks of dating, she threatened to kill herself if I didn't marry her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 187

You deserved it 4 061

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 071

You deserved it 4 239

Today, my mom was criticizing how I can't handle taking care of any living thing because I'm too irresponsible. We had a huge argument so I went back to my apartment, only to find that my fish had died. I forgot I had a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 741

You deserved it 60 971

Today, I was standing in the gas station, pulling out my wallet to pay the $100 of gas I just filled my car with. I opened my wallet and found a note saying "borrowed money for food". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 439

You deserved it 4 317