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cjammer

mrs

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Yokota Air Base, Fussa City, Japan
37 years-old
Tuesday 15 December 1987
Not specified

About Cjammer

Military wife. Aspiring author. Cynical, sarcastic. Fat. Fat as in, woah, that's a huuuuge bitch, but I'm slowly and steadily working on it (-34lbs in 3 months so far). NIN and Slipknot have a rather coincidental and stalkerish habit of writing about my life...which is just as well, because Trent and Corey are gods. Football, hockey and paintball are the best sports ever to be invented. I'm a hardcore gamer, and none of that WOW shit. Give me a pink XBox controller, and I will tear your ass in any FPS you put in. I'm disgustingly obsessed with the Playboy bunny. I'm on a never-ending mission to rid the world of stereotypes, hatred and ignorance, one person at a time. No, I don't wear contacts. Yes, that is a freckle on my nose. And I'm 99% sure someone hacked my account in the past couple days because I definitely haven't attempted to post 18 FMLs since the last time I was on.

Cjammer - Followers

Cjammer - Followed

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Cjammer's FML badges

It's in the can!

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

The list of badges to find

Cjammer's favorite FMLs

By jinxofsocal - 21/06/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 406

You deserved it 27 538

By evil - 27/01/2010 05:07 - United States

Today, at my school, the student council is trying to raise $5000 for Haiti. They are doing so by playing the song from High School Musical in the hallways and cafeteria everyday until they get the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 980

You deserved it 4 383

Existential crisis

By ceedee - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was pondering the meaning of life - why I'm here, why anyone is here, why go on, and whether it's worth it… Then it hit me. The football in the head, not the meaning of life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 617

You deserved it 25 804

By James4929 - 08/01/2010 00:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 334

You deserved it 4 063

Thoughts and prayers

By poordog - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote, "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote, "I hope she does." It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote, "I hope she dies" instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 567

You deserved it 9 423