Look before you leap
By lemonlime66 - 01/03/2017 22:00
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
To be up moderating at this time of night, either you're really devoted or you're an insomniac.
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return, you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Not one, not two, but 50 pages of the Intimacy category read. No comment.
See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
By lemonlime66 - 01/03/2017 22:00
By Broc'n dreams - 06/02/2017 16:00 - New Zealand - Auckland
By orangemango - 22/04/2014 06:18 - United States - Lahaina
By ShadowReiku - 13/12/2012 08:39 - United States - Odenton
This is my FML. I made an account to comment. I play pen&paper D&D with my dad and she was getting on my case about playing the nerd sport and how pathetic it was. I told her that at least I can have a relationship with my father that doesn't involve him paying for abortions.
By cunting cunts - 29/05/2012 17:10 - United Kingdom - Northolt
Hello! OP here! Nice little surprise when I woke up this morning! This happened to me about two months ago and my husband thought the situation was funny enough to post. I keep my phone on because my husband's 90-year-old grandmother lives in the same community as us and he's the first person she calls in case of emergencies. When he's off island on business trips, that responsibility falls on me. Since I'm a really heavy sleeper, I leave the ringer on pretty loud. And yes, I know there's a do not disturb function on my iPhone, but I never used it cause I've never gotten a phone call at such odd hours. I didn't check the number when I answered the first time cause I was already in a mad rush to wake up and find my phone without my glasses and freak out that something might've happened to grandma while my husbands away. I was pretty groggy when I answered and I guess the lady didn't appreciate the fact I kept saying "huh?" and "what?". She thought I was sleeping on the job or playing a prank on her and wanted to talk to my supervisor. I told her it was three in the morning and that she had dialed a Hawaiian residential number. There was a long pause and she just hung up. My phone rang a minute later from the same number, but it was a man this time. I told him the same thing and he gave me a half-assed apology and hung up. This happened for the next two nights (also rang during the day) and I found out from one of the calls that the shoe company had actually misprinted their 1-800 number on their packing slip (it was printed 1-808-XXX-XXXX). So I did start using the do not disturb function on my phone and I even changed my voice mail to tell people that this isn't the number they're trying to reach. However, some of them didn't even bother listening to my message and started leaving me voice mails. They were pretty funny. The shoe company specialized in plus-sized shoes for women, but I don't think they were very good. One lady got two left shoes and another was threatening to sue if she didn't get her refund. I already had to change my number back in December (a Samoan family somehow got my number and kept calling and intimidating me cause I apparently got beaten up by their son/brother/nephew/grandson and "it would be wise if you kept your mouth shut") and I was going to be charged $36 for a new number and I didn't want to deal with updating everyone my new number again. What I did end up doing was every time someone called, I'd start trolling them. Some highlights were Teniqua, angry black lady who was wondering why some woman is calling her baby daddy; Sugar **** Mandy, phone sex hotline; Rainbow Waterfall, hippie doomsday and conspiracy preacher; and my husband's, Dick Johnson, Swinging Salami Inc., every order gets you a free complimentary *****! The calls stopped coming about a week after we started trolling with a few stragglers here and there. Probably from people who dialed an 8 instead of a 0. We assumed either the shoe company finally fixed the mistake, changed their phone number, or went out of business. Happy to say I got my number back!